Looking On Tempests
by Tharros
Summary: James Potter lived life in the fast lane. Lily Evans looked before every leap. He was in the habit of saying exactly what he wanted, exactly when he wanted. She chose her words with care, except where he was concerned. They brought out the very worst and the very best in each other, like thunder and lightning, and the most important thing they ever did was fall in love.
1. Friends and Enemies

**...**

 **Looking On Tempests  
** **By Tharros**

 **Disclaimer: If I were JoRo, this would be a real book. But here we are.**

 **Chapter One: Friends and Enemies (And What's In Between)**

(Forgetting)

Summers were for forgetting.

At least, that became Lily Evans's mantra in the summer of 1976. She spent the majority of her time determined _not_ to think about a bloke, or _blokes_ , for that matter. She wouldn't let her relationships define her life to others or to herself.

The sixteen-year-old witch made a point of living in the moment, of putting up with her sister's fiancé and keeping up with her friends. There had been a trip to the coast with Marlene's family, several stays with Alice and Sylvia, and she worked part time at the flower shop up the road. All of which served as lovely distractions, but it was September 1st, and Lily found she had something else she would rather not think about.

The green salve she whipped up in the sink in the bathroom on the Hogwarts express was doing wonders for the bruise along her jaw. She and Petunia had not been in a physical altercation since they were very young, but the two sisters boiled over earlier that morning.

 _Lily tossed a few last minutes items into her trunk without bothering to organize, as she would be unpacking with magic later that evening. Hearing the front door to the Evans home open and shut, Lily, thinking it to be her mother, went to the bedroom door and called, "Mum, have you seen my wand? I swear I left it—"_

" _Lily!"_

 _The witch froze as Petunia and her fiancé, Vernon, appeared at the bottom of the stairs, the former looking outraged and the latter confused._

" _Oh. Hey Tuney. Hey Vernon." No inflection._

"What _was it you were looking for, Lily?" Petunia asked pointedly. "I think Vernon and I misheard you."_

 _Lily ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "I don't really have time for this. I'm late already. If you would just—"_

 _Petunia was up the stairs and at Lily's side faster than she expected. "Can we have a word?"_

" _What's going on here?" demanded Vernon, still standing at the bottom of the staircase. He crossed his beefy arms and looked from one sister to the other expectantly._

 _Lily groaned. "Petunia," she said quietly. "You_ have _to tell him eventually. I suggest sooner rather than later."_

" _For the hundredth time, no."_

" _Then maybe I'll tell him," said Lily, growing increasingly annoyed by the delay and her sister's refusal to do the rational thing. Then, louder, "I said I was looking for my—"_

 _Her final word was cut off by a blow to the side of the face. Lily was so shocked that she could hardly feel it. She turned to look at her sister, whose blue eyes were on fire as she glared. One hand was open, still swung across her body from the slap she had just given Lily._

" _What the hell?" Lily shot back. She usually preferred to solve fights with words rather than violence, but Petunia always managed to bring out the worst in her. She closed her right hand into a fist a slammed it into Petunia's cheek. The older sister gave a yell of shock and pain and stumbled back a few steps._

" _Oi!" Vernon's voice seemed miles away._

" _You always do this, Petunia," Lily snapped. "You treat me like everyone else's opinion matters to you so much more than my feelings and I am so_ sick _of it."_

" _Well maybe they do!" spat Petunia. She was holding the side of her face where Lily had hit it. "For god's sake, Lily, would you just leave already?"_

Lily frowned as she replayed the morning's events in her mind. She had been wrong. It had been totally wrong of her to try to tell her sister's fiancé something that Petunia wasn't ready to tell him. It had been wrong of her to hit Petunia back. She shouldn't have done it.

"I'll write her an apology tomorrow," she muttered aloud, wiping the salve off her now almost faded bruise and applying a new layer of concealer. She pulled her dark red hair out of its loose knot and allowed it to fall in waves around her shoulders. No one would be able to see the bruise unless they were really looking.

Not that Lily cared if someone noticed. Her friends knew about the situation with Petunia. It was just something she would rather not discuss. At Hogwarts, Lily tried to leave her family problems behind her.

 _I need to find a better way to deal with my problems,_ she thought wryly, pinching the bridge of her nose.

(On Lily Evans)

Lily Evans was a sixteen-year-old witch with dark red hair and large green eyes. Her skin was fair with a smattering of freckles and she found herself on the shorter end of the scale. Her smile was fun, full of humor, and made her eyes crinkle in the corners. Lily laughed often. She was the type of person that nearly everyone came to for advice, for Lily was usually right.

She had a sister, Petunia, who was two years Lily's senior and notably _not_ a witch. This caused problems between the two sisters since Lily began at Hogwarts when she was eleven.

For the first five years at Hogwarts, her best friend was a bloke named Severus Snape. He lived down the road, and it had been he who informed Lily that the strange abilities she possessed were, in fact, magic. He had been her best friend even though the pair had been sorted into rival houses: Gryffindor and Slytherin. They had been mates right up until the moment last June when Severus called Lily something that, in the Wizarding world, was likely the worst thing one could say to another. He called her "Mudblood." She broke ties with Severus for that, believing that he was becoming sympathetic with the Dark Lord Voldemort and his followers, who sought a world in which only those of pure blood (witch and wizards with purely magical ancestry) would survive. Lily, having two Muggle parents, did not fit that ideal.

In spite of all this, Lily Evans was happy.

She had other friends, of course, a great many, as she was well liked by the majority of the student body. She was talented and sweet and always willing to help someone should they need it without asking for anything in return. She enjoyed crossword puzzles and new records and old Muggle films. Lily Evans read a great deal. When she was younger (the before-Hogwarts years), she enjoyed novels of all sorts—mystery, fantasy, romance—but once she arrived at Hogwarts, she took an interest in all things magical and read at least half the school's library within her first four years. Having come from a Muggle background, Lily wanted to ensure that she was never behind because she did not know something about the Wizarding world.

That is not to say Lily Evans was without her flaws. With talent and wit often comes pride, and pride may lead to self-righteousness. In Lily Evans, such was the case, and with her virtue came a temper, and a need to make things right, even when she should not interfere.

Lily Evans wanted to be a Healer. She wanted to live in a flat with a rooftop garden. She wanted to write a novel. Lily Evans wanted a great many things in life, but found that to have some things (consistency, for instance) one had to give up others (best friends that might want you dead). However, giving up some things (no matter how much one wanted others) was not often something Lily Evans managed to do successfully.

(Forgiving)

She used her wand to vanish the rest of the thick potion, and with a final glance at her reflection, Lily exited the bathroom...

...And ran headlong into a rather tall someone.

"Lily!"

"Clark!" Lily gasped, taking a step back from the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain. His brown hair was longer than the last time she had seen him (had it really been two months?), but that didn't stop him from reminding her of a young Paul Newman as it fell into his sky blue eyes.

The pair dated for exactly five months and eleven days. Lily remembered this fact very clearly, for they began their relationship on Severus Snape's birthday (January 9th) and ended it the day before The Mudblood Incident (June 20th). The relationship was solid, good for both parties, and never overly demanding. But it ended, _he_ ended it, for he feared Lily was more devoted to another.

"I'm sorry," Lily continued, avoiding his eyes. She straightened her sweater (it was teal and rather lumpy and the witch wished she had already changed into her school robes). "I wasn't watching where I was going."

"It's fine," said Clark. "I was...er...looking for you, actually. Would you mind if we talk for a moment?"

Lily met his eye and noticed a faint blush on his cheeks. "S-Sure," she said, heart rate rising.

"I think I saw an empty compartment down here..."

She followed him back along the train a bit and into the compartment in question. Clark sat on one side; Lily sat across from him.

Silence.

After a moment, Lily coughed. "Did you bring here so we could stare awkwardly at the floor together or did you have something you wanted to say?"

"Yes, yes, sorry. I just..." he struggled, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort. "Listen, Lily. I'm really sorry—about everything. I was daft. I know Snape was just your mate and I was being a jealous prick. I-I shouldn't have said... _any_ of the things I said to you and I am _so_ sorry. And I'm sorry for what he said to you during O.W.L.s, and that I wasn't there for you after it happened."

That wasn't what the witch had been expecting. Clark had never been the type to apologize for anything (not that he did many things that merited an apology). He was a "no regrets" type of fellow.

"You _were_ being a jealous prick," Lily told him, a small smile dancing on her lips. "But...but I forgive you. My relationship with Sev was...complicated to say the least. I can't exactly blame you for reading into it."

A wide grin (god he had a perfect, straight smile) broke out across his face. "Excellent. That sort of leads to the other thing I wanted to say..."

"Do we have to stare at the floor for another moment or can you just go ahead and tell me?" Lily teased. Clark continued to smile.

"Well...I was wondering if, maybe, you would want to give me another chance? I really like you, Lily, and I've regretted breaking up with you every moment of every day."

Lily drew a sharp intake of breath. She'd thought they might make up, but she hadn't imagined it to be so simple. Their relationship had been good. She had been happy. And _she_ , at least, had sorely regretted the breakup. She was pleased that he seemed to as well. "I...I'd like that, Clark."

"Truly?"

"Truly."

"That's great, Lily!" He stood and pulled her up with him, hugging her close to his chest.

"Oi!" A third voice startled them apart.

James Potter and Sirius Black stood in the doorway to the compartment, which they had just thrown open for no obvious reason. Sirius had spoken, and a playful grin stretched across his face. James, one hand still on the door, looked surprised and slightly irritated.

"You lot haven't seen Remus or Peter, have you?" asked James, running his free hand through his messy black hair.

"Can't say I have," Clark answered, and Lily shook her head. "Now if you don't mind, we were in the middle of something."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll shove off," said Sirius, grinning at Lily. "Don't do anything I wouldn't, love."

"Which is what, exactly?" quipped the witch. She raised an eyebrow.

Sirius winked and the two moved along to the next unfortunate compartment.

Clark chuckled low in his throat. "Those two are always up to something."

"Yes, well, I'd rather _not_ know what it is if I can help it. Now, where were we?"

(Noticing)

"Evans is back with Minnow," Sirius announced once he and James found the compartment containing their mates.

"Minnow?" asked Peter Pettigrew.

"M. E. N. O.," Sirius explained. "Marauders' Enemy Number One. AKA, Clark Broadmoor."

"Wouldn't that be Snape?" said Remus Lupin, looking up from the chess game he was playing with Peter. "Or Avery, or Slughorn, or any number of prefects that you lot continually upset? Why _Clark Broadmoor_ of all people?"

James rolled his eyes. "Padfoot thinks that we should hate Broadmoor since Evans agreed to date _him_ rather than me. And while that does make her seem a bit thick—as I'm obviously superior in every aspect, who wants to date a _beater_ anyway?" (This earned an "Oi!" from Sirius) "—it does not make him worthy of the title."

"Lily and Clark dated for most of last term, and you're just coming up this?" Remus directed his question at Sirius.

" _No_ ," said Sirius. He picked up one of Remus's discarded pawns and twirled it between his fingers.

"Been thinking it up for a while then? I _knew_ you were never actually as witty as you pretend to be."

Sirius grinned.

James, however, was not particularly pleased with the morning's developments. He had spent the majority of the summer trying (and mostly failing) to forget about Lily Evans, and now here she was, parading her relationship for all the world to see. Well, not really, but Lily Evans in a relationship was much more conspicuous than Lily Evans single. Plus, Broadmoor was Captain for Ravenclaw, so that meant Evans was fraternizing with the enemy on top of everything else. And she had let her hair grow over the summer. And where did she get that bruise on her chin? And—damn, why was he thinking all this?

"Prongs? You still with us?" Sirius asked eventually, and James nodded.

"Sorry, I was just thinking how Broadmoor could be our M.A.T.E.: Most Annoying Tool of Evans."

"Not your best, Prongs."

"Shut up, Wormtail."

(Looking for the Worst)

Later, standing on the platform and waiting for the horseless carriages that would take the older students to the castle, Lily caught the eye of Severus Snape, standing several paces away with a few of his fellow Slytherins. He held her gaze for a long moment. Thin and pale, with tired circles around his eyes, Sev looked just as he had the day she had met him. The day he had appeared from behind a bush on that playground and told her she was a witch. Lily wondered sadly if his parents had been fighting all summer. He had tried on more than one occasion to come to the Evans home and speak with Lily, but she had adamantly insisted that he leave her alone. Had he needed an escape from his own house? Had he been seeking refuge?

Lily shook herself and broke eye contact. _No_. It didn't matter. If he really needed to get away, surely he could stay with Avery or Mulciber. They seemed perfectly chummy as they climbed into a carriage together. He didn't need Lily anymore. He had made his choice.

Marlene Penn, who stood beside Lily, must have witnessed the brief exchange, for she took Lily's elbow and guided her to a different carriage.

"Did you speak to him at all?" asked the blonde, her long hair pulled into a messy braid. She had grown since the last time Lily had seen her, and now stood several inches taller than the prefect. Alice Shields, round faced and willowy, climbed into the carriage after them.

"Yeah, you didn't so much as _mention_ Snape all summer."

"He came round about once a week, but I never let him say much," Lily admitted. "I just...couldn't speak to him."

"You don't have to explain yourself," said Marlene. "I don't blame you at all. He doesn't deserve to talk to you."

"Mm," Lily said noncommittally. Alice patted her arm comfortingly.

Sylvia Dearborn, a seventh year Gryffindor and one of Lily's good friends, climbed into the carriage then and grinned at the three younger girls.

"I looked all _over_ for you on the train," she said, giving them awkward half-standing, half-sitting hugs as the carriage started forward.

"Let me guess," joked Lily. "You found the food trolley before you found us?"

Sylvia stuck her tongue out playfully. She was a very petite girl, at least a head shorter than Marlene and thin as a twig, but she had a sweet tooth like no one Lily had ever met.

" _Maybe._ "

The sixth years laughed.

"So where's lover boy?" Sylvia asked Lily, flipping her brown hair over her shoulder. "Word on the train is you and Clark Broadmoor are back together."

"I forget how productive the Hogwarts rumor mill can be," said Marlene, shaking her head.

Lily smiled. "Clark took a carriage with his mates. We're going to meet up after the feast."

"I thought you weren't a snog-in-the-broom-cupboard type, Evans," Sylvia joked, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'm _not_. We're going for a walk."

" _Sure._ "

"Quiet you, or I'll tell the girls about you and Benjy Fenwick."

"You _wouldn't_."

The short carriage ride passed in this amicable way, but when it halted outside the castle steps, Alice brought up a question that had been haunting the back of Lily's mind all day.

"So, um...have any of you heard anything from Blanche since...you know..."

Lily shook her head, a motion mirrored by Sylvia and Marlene. "Just the one letter saying she wouldn't be starting school on time this year." The three sixth years had all received the same brief note after the attack in Diagon Alley a week prior.

"I read about that," said Sylvia. "Really _awful_. Merlin, I can't imagine."

"Yeah," said Marlene glumly. "Maybe Gracie or Edgar have spoken to her more recently."

They joined the throng ascending the steps to the torch-lit Entrance Hall, where Peeves the Poltergeist was bouncing around throwing what appeared to be tiny fireworks into the crowd. Every once in a while there was a loud bang and startled yells as students passed underneath him.

Lily sat with Alice and Marlene, while Sylvia moved along to find her fellow seventh years. Soon, the girls were joined by two others: Mary Macdonald and Gracie Corey.

Mary was of average height and weight with lots of straight brown hair. She wore large black glasses and bright red lipstick. Gracie had skin a few shades darker than caramel and short hair that stuck up in a rather wild, curly mass around her thin face. She was tomboyish and almost always glowed with a warm smile. Tonight, however, she seemed a bit subdued.

"I was just asking her about Blanche," explained Mary quietly as more students filed in and took their seats at the house tables. Stars gleamed in the enchanted ceiling above them.

"I went to the funeral," Gracie said. She rested her elbows on the table and propped her chin up on her hands. "Blanche was...in shock, I think and her parents...god it was terrible."

Mary, who sat beside her, put an arm around her shoulders.

"You don't have to talk about it, Gracie," said Lily, reaching across the table and squeezing one of her hands.

"Eli was only _twelve_ ," Gracie continued, speaking more to herself than the others. "How could someone _do_ that?"

Lily wished she had an answer.

A moment later, she looked up to see Mary staring wistfully across the hall to where Thaddeus Capper was sitting at the Hufflepuff table. The redheaded witch rolled her eyes and smiled at Mary, glad for something to take their minds of the death of Blanche's brother.

"I see you have a new object of affection."

"What?" asked Mary, averting her eyes as a deep blush bloomed across her cheeks. "No...I was just...lost in thought."

"Uh huh," said Lily playfully. Gracie seemed to be cheered slightly by the new conversation topic, so Lily kept it going. "Have you even spoken to Thad before?"

"Lily, you know as well as I do that Mary refuses to speak to anyone she might fancy," Marlene teased.

"It's kind of her defining trait, you know," said Alice. "Pining but never acting on it."

"And then when a bloke _does_ like her, she totally loses interest," finished Gracie.

Mary stuck her tongue out. "Like you lot can talk. It's not like Gracie or Marlene have blokes."

"And who knows how the hell Frank and I ever happened," Alice said, smiling and waving to her boyfriend as he helped McGonagall line up the first years for the sorting. "I mean, just _look_ at him, and here I am just like...pfft."

She made the noise with her lips and indicated her slightly disheveled appearance. Frank _was_ always more put together and organized than Alice, but everyone knew that she was the sun to him.

"Lily, tell us your secret to bloke-getting," teased Marlene.

Then, Sirius Black dropped down onto the bench beside Lily.

"They just come to me," Lily said with a playful smile. The girls laughed.

"Welcome to Sixth Year, ladies," said Sirius Black, oblivious to Lily's joke. His dark hair had grown out a bit over the summer and fell into his eyes in what he probably thought was a very mysterious way. "Evans is still a prefect, I see. Remus too, unfortunately."

Remus Lupin took a seat across from Sirius and rolled his eyes as if the conversation was nothing new to him. "Sirius doesn't seem to understand that I am the _only_ option Dumbledore has for prefect among these idiots."

"Sirius doesn't seem to understand most things," said James, sliding into the seat beside Remus. Mary and Gracie budged to make room for the boys and Lily found that James was almost directly across from her now. She looked pointedly away. She hadn't spoken more than a handful of words to James since the incident with Severus in the spring, and she wasn't in the mood for an argument.

"Oh yeah, which one of us was it that got _seven_ O's on his O.W.L.s?" said Sirius.

James scoffed. "Just because I didn't know the difference between a microwave and a radio doesn't make you smarter than me. My E in Muggle Studies isn't bad at all. Plus, I think my Herbology counts for more than your Astronomy. Herbology is definitely more difficult."

"Now now children," said Marlene. "The Sorting Hat's about to sing."

And indeed, the old battered hat that Professor McGonagall had placed on a stool at the front of the Great Hall opened at the brim.

 _Witches, wizards, one and all,  
_ _The old hats and the new,  
_ _I'm hear to play my yearly role,  
_ _And sing a song for you._

 _But this year is different, listen well,  
_ _Darkness deepens in the air,  
_ _Evil is rising, it leaves a mark  
_ _And goodness must prepare._

 _My task for you is simple,  
_ _Though harder than you'd know,  
_ _Unite four houses, stand as one,  
_ _And don't let dark thoughts grow._

 _Hufflepuffs, your patience  
_ _Is a strength that we all need  
_ _Your fairness and your justice  
_ _Can bring an end to evil greed._

 _Ravenclaws, your wisdom  
_ _Is a burden and a gift  
_ _Use your minds to seek equality  
_ _And try to close the growing rift._

 _Slytherins, ambition has  
_ _Always been your driving force  
_ _Do not succumb to darkness  
_ _Just to follow ambition's course._

 _And finally, brave Gryffindors,  
_ _All wars come with a price,  
_ _Control your pride and unify  
_ _That is my best advice._

The Hat went silent and so did the Great Hall. At least, for a moment, before whispers burst out all at once.

"It really thinks this is going to be a war?" asked Alice. Her blue eyes were wide.

"Sounds like it," said James. His face was unreadable. "I've been in Dumbledore's office once or twice and the Hat sits right there. It hears all of Dumbledore's meetings so it probably knows better than anyone."

"Only once or twice?" Lily quipped. Sirius grinned.

"Quiet down!" said McGonagall, and began calling names to be sorted.

The first student went to Slytherin and Sirius made a disgusted noise. "That's a good sign."

Lily looked around the Hall. Blanche was noticeably absent, but so, it seemed, were others. There were fewer students than there should have been at all four house tables, but where Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff all had large gaps, the Slytherin table seemed to be missing only one or two. The witch tried to believe it was coincidence, but she was not truly so naïve.

The Sorting Ceremony finished a quarter of an hour later and Dumbledore stood at his place at the staff table.

"As you all no doubt heard, war may be upon us."

"He sure doesn't beat around the bush," said James.

"Some of you have already lost loved ones, and some of you have friends that are not with us tonight. I do not wish to frighten you, but to remind you that the Sorting Hat made an excellent point: Hogwarts must remain safe, and to do so, the four houses must stand united. I know this is difficult, but we must try to put our differences aside: be it a difference of house, opinion, or circumstance."

There were a few murmurs around the Hall at this, and Lily glanced across at the Slytherin table to see Severus watching her intently.

"But enough talk for now. I know your minds are too full of thoughts of food to listen." said Dumbledore. "Tuck in."

As the plates in front of them magically filled, Sirius crossed his arms. "So Dumbledore expects us to get all buddy-buddy with the Slytherins, does he? Like that'll solve anything."

"Like that'll ever happen in the first place," corrected Peter.

"Lily was friends with Severus Snape for a long time..." said Mary without meeting Lily's eye as she served herself carrots.

"And look how that turned out," said James.

Lily scowled at him.

"What? He was a git."

"And so are you."

"At least I'm honest about it."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"Sure it does," said James, helping himself to the potatoes. "With me, what you see is what you get. Snivellus is a sneaky, lying—"

"Please don't talk about him like that," said Lily. She had yet to touch the food. "You have no right to say _anything_ about him."

"That doesn't stop him from saying whatever he likes about _me_."

"As if it even bothers you!" Lily's voice was growing louder. She had wanted to save this confrontation for later, as she knew she would have to talk about the... _incident_ with Severus with James at some point. She had not intended on do it at the Welcoming Feast in front of the entire school. But he had started it. "You _love_ the attention. As long as people are talking about you, who cares what they're saying? Besides, there's something called the high road. You should try taking it from time to time. Just because Severus says things about you doesn't mean you have to say them about him."

"Er...guys?" Marlene said, prodding Lily in the shoulder. The redhead ignored her.

"Don't act so self righteous with me," snapped James. "You act like you've never said a bad word about anybody."

"I never said I hadn't, Potter, but this...this _feud_ between you and Severus has got to end."

He laughed derisively. "You don't seem to be doing such a good job with that yourself."

Lily fumed, but a firm hand on her arm stopped her from responding.

"Cool it, guys," said Marlene. Remus seemed to be saying something similar to James. "This feud between the two of _you_ has got to end."

"She's right," said Remus. "There won't be any house unity if we can't even be civil within our own houses."

Lily knew they were right, but James Potter was not someone Lily thought she could ever be friends with. "Maybe it would be better if we just didn't speak to each other," suggested the witch.

"Fine by me," James said, crossing his arms and looking away.

The others groaned, but Lily thought this might be a good start. Perhaps they could have a peaceful year if she and James simply stayed out of each other's way.

(Not Quite Midnight)

A few minutes of tense silence passed in which James tried very hard not to look at Lily. There was a pink glow left in her cheeks from their argument and her huge green eyes flashed dangerously. Most of the time, Lily would be described as adorable—she was little and wry and brilliant and never had a harsh word to say to anyone, but when he got her going, she could tear a grown man to pieces.

She terrified him.

Not because he thought he couldn't take her in a fight (James thought he could take just about anyone in a fight). But because, try as he might, he had been unable to get her out of his head for years. He'd have her voice ringing in his head for days and he hated it. The look on her face (lips pursed, trying not to say whatever it was she was thinking) made him want to kiss her or arm-wrestle her, but he never could quite figure out which.

 _Merlin_ he needed a smoke.

Soon, the desserts cleared themselves away and Dumbledore stood again to address the students.

"Now that we are all well-fed and ready to rest, I have only a few brief announcements. The first is our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Fresh from the Ministry of Magic's Auror training program, it is my pleasure to introduce to you all Professor Penn."

A witch in her early twenties waved from the staff table and there was applause, particularly from the males in the room.

"Marlene! You didn't tell us your _sister_ was the new Defense teacher!"

Marlene put her head on the table and groaned. "I was kind of hoping it wasn't true, to be honest."

"Family troubles?" asked Sirius.

Marlene sighed. "It's not terrible or anything. We just don't get along. I was hoping to spend my last few years at Hogwarts without her lurking over my shoulder."

"Second," said Dumbledore. "I will simply promote caution, but do not allow caution to lead to distrust among you. And third, please follow your prefects back to you houses and have dreams of that wonderful dinner."

The students got to their feet. Lily and Remus departed to lead the first years up to Gryffindor Tower and James followed a few paces behind, fully intending to slip out for some peace and a cigarette before bed.

But fate had other plans.

Students had stopped in the Entrance Hall and James had to push through to escape the blocked doorway. When he managed to get free, he found himself face-to-face with Lily Evans.

However, this was not the real Lily Evans, but a large photograph. It looked altered somehow to appear more menacing and the words "Beware the Mudbloods" were scrawled in large red letters across it. Conversations erupted throughout the Hall and James looked around to find similar posters with other Hogwarts students. There was one of Mary Macdonald to the right of Lily's, then Gracie Corey, Dirk Cresswell, Anthony Craig, and others that he couldn't make out. Some students were trying to take them down, but it seemed they wouldn't come off the walls.

"Everyone, please, calm down," said Professor McGonagall. She had ascended a few steps of the staircase so that she could be seen over all the students in the Hall. Her face was pale, her mouth a thin line. "I do not know how or when these appeared, but I assure you, the staff will find out. Prefects, _please_ return your houses to your dormitories as quickly as possible. Make sure no one leaves tonight. Your Head of House will be along as soon as we have something to tell you about...all this."

"Professor, what about the students who are in these posters?" asked someone loudly. James looked around to see Clark Broadmoor standing with an arm tightly wrapped around Lily's shoulders. She seemed more angry than frightened by what she saw on the walls. "Shouldn't they get some sort of special protection? What if this is a threat directly against them?"

"Obviously it's a threat directly against us!" said someone else James couldn't see. "We should go to Professor Dumbledore's office or somewhere safe!"

Clark looked as if he was about to agree when Lily spoke over him. "Don't be silly. I appreciate the concern, but the dorms are about the safest place in the castle."

"That is brave of you, Miss Evans," said McGonagall. "But I think Miss Jordan has a point. If any of you see yourselves in one of these posters, it would be best if you would come with me for the time being. I imagine Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with you anyway. Prefects, take note of who is accompanying me, and then ensure that everyone else in your houses enters the dormitories safely."

This took some time, as not only did students have to separate themselves into their various houses (Ravenclaws and Gryffindors going up, Slytherins and Hufflepuffs descending), but they also had to scan the walls for their own faces or those of their friends and housemates. James waited between the photos of Lily and Mary, deciding he would make his move once everyone had cleared out a bit.

Lily and Clark had a brief, quiet conversation that ended in a kiss (James rolled his eyes) and then Lily joined the small group crowding around the Transfiguration professor. Sirius and Peter joined James along the wall (Remus was now leading the Gryffindors with the Head Boy, Frank Longbottom), and James decided his cigarette would have to wait.

(On James Potter)

James Potter was tall, though lankier than he would've liked. He was a good-looking bloke and knew it, with a wide, crooked smile, straight white teeth, and a strong jaw. He laughed loudly and often. His hazel eyes danced with a mischievous sort of light behind his glasses, always daring someone to challenge him. He had black hair that stuck up in every direction, and in spite of his mother's insistence that it would look much better cropped short; James liked to keep it long enough that it always appeared somewhat windswept. He had perfect hands, an odd fact that girls had pointed out on more than one occasion, and which James could only attribute to the school Healer, Madame Minks, who had fixed more broken fingers than James cared to remember.

James played Quidditch, and was likely the best player Hogwarts had seen in decades. He was captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and accepted nothing short of perfection (thus Gryffindor had a perfect record the year prior, the first year James took over as captain). It was one of the two things James was truly proud of.

The other was the fact that he, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew had become Animagi at the start of their fifth year, in order to accompany the fourth member of the Marauders, Remus Lupin, once a month on the full moon when he would transform into a werewolf. It wasn't the difficulty of the magic that made James proud, but the fact that it seemed to make the nights go easier on Remus (not that James would ever admit to something so sentimental).

James was talented in just about everything. He was top of the class in Transfiguration and had received seven O.W.L.s (the same as Lily Evans). He enjoyed crossword puzzles and new records. He liked to read, but often found other things to do. James was considered a prankster, and served no less than two detentions a month (though it was often more than that). People either loved him or hated him (though it was usually the former), but in truth, James didn't care much about what other people thought. He was firm believer that people could and should say what they wanted, when they wanted. He believed in honesty, even if it hurt, and thought that too many people tried to spare each other's feelings. James was in the habit of letting his own mouth run away from him, but there was little he seemed to be able to do about it.

James Potter had spent the summer trying (and mostly failing) to forget about Lily Evans, and that might be the most telling fact of all.

* * *

"It's not all the Muggle-borns," Peter said after a moment. "There isn't anyone below fourth year."

"How courteous of whoever did this," Sirius said dryly.

"No, I meant that it means whoever it was..."

"Might be too old to know any of the younger students' bloodlines," finished James. Peter nodded.

Sirius crossed his arms, watching as the last of the students finally disappeared up the marble staircase. "So you think it's a student?"

James pushed himself off the wall and put his hands in his pockets, making for the staircase at a leisurely pace. "Could be. There were several people missing from the Welcoming Feast."

"It's a shame we didn't have the map out," said Peter, following James. "We might've seen who it was..."

"Why would we ever have the map out during a feast?" asked Sirius.

"We wouldn't. I was just saying."

"Well it hardly matters now," said James, growing irritable. "We'll let the teachers deal with it."

Sirius shrugged. "Fine by me. Kitchens?"

"Padfoot, we _just_ ate."

"Yeah, but all this excitement made me hungry."

(Lion Heart)

Lily had been in Dumbledore's office once before. It was at the start of second year when the Headmaster called her there to discuss how things were going with Petunia. Petunia, of course, had written Dumbledore before Lily's first year, begging that he admit her to Hogwarts as well, and the Headmaster correctly suspected that the first summer home would be difficult for the sisters.

It looked almost exactly as it had four years prior, with odd baubles and trinkets scattered about on spindly silver tables. The phoenix, Fawkes, dozed on his golden perch and the portraits of the past Headmasters chatted idly as they watched the students. The primary difference between this time and the last was the conspicuous absence of Dumbledore behind the ornate desk.

"Settle down, everyone," said McGonagall. "Professor Dumbledore shall join us shortly. He and Professor Penn are currently checking the grounds to ensure that the culprit is not still within our midst."

"What if it's another student?" asked Melody Jordan, a Ravenclaw prefect.

"That is a bridge we shall cross when and if we get there," said McGonagall.

A few moments later, Professor Dumbledore entered with Professor Penn. The latter spoke to McGonagall while the former addressed the students.

"First, I would like to apologize to you all," he said. "I know this is not how you wished to start your year, but alas, here we are. So I must ask each of you some questions."

He walked toward a doorway to a second room that Lily had not noticed before. Inside, there were two large armchairs and a small table set for tea. "If you would line up and enter one at a time, then, hopefully we shall finish quickly."

They did as instructed, and Lily found herself between Mary and Gracie. Mary took her glasses off and absentmindedly cleaned them on the hem of her robe and Gracie chewed on her lip.

"Don't look so nervous, girls," Lily told them, squeezing Gracie's hand. "It's scary, I know, but...but they're just words, right? No one actually got hurt. That's probably because Dumbledore's here. We haven't got anything to worry about."

"Do you _have_ to be so positive, Lily?" asked Mary, but the brunette was smiling just a little. "I swear, you could find good news in a hurricane."

Lily smiled at that. "It's preferable to moping about."

Mary was called in next, and Lily held Gracie's hand.

"It...it's just so _much_ , you know?" Gracie began after a moment. Lily waited for her to explain. "First Eli getting killed...then Blanche doesn't come back to school where it's _supposed_ to be safer...and then this tonight. It's like nowhere is really safe anymore."

Lily wasn't quite sure what to say. Perhaps nowhere _was_ safe anymore. At least, maybe not completely. But she did not have so little faith in humanity to think that there weren't just as many people fighting against Voldemort as their were supporting him.

"It's going to be all right, you know," Lily said. "Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week, but _someday soon_ it will be. I can feel it. And...and things are never going to be the same for Blanche, but she'll get through this. She's strong, okay? She'll be back."

Gracie smiled appreciatively, even if she did not look wholly convinced. A few minutes later, Mary exited and Lily was called in. There was a warm fire burning merrily in the corner and Dumbledore poured her a cup of tea as she sat down in the large, squishy armchair.

"Good evening, Miss Evans," said the Headmaster. Some of the usual sparkle seemed to be missing from his blue eyes. "I am sorry that it is under these circumstances that we must meet again."

"It's okay," said Lily, and it really was. Severus's "Mudblood" hurt much more than any Death Eater propaganda. She took a sip of her tea. "No one got hurt, right? That's what really matters."

"You are correct, indeed, Miss Evans. I am glad you are able to have that outlook."

Lily blushed a little.

"Now, unfortunately, to business. I must ask, is there anyone in particular you believe might hold a grudge against you or the Muggle-borns here at Hogwarts?"

"Besides the obvious answer of 'Lord Voldemort'?" said Lily, Dumbledore smiled at this. "Well...Wyatt Avery and Cassius Mulciber have always been...less than kind to Mary, Gracie, and me. Mulciber's called Mary a Mudblood on more than one occasion." She paused then, thinking of Severus, but unwilling to admit that he could ever be behind such a thing.

The headmaster seemed to read her mind. "What of Severus Snape? I am aware of the altercation between yourself, Mr. Snape, and James Potter last year."

"Sev and I aren't friends anymore." It still hurt to say out loud. "But," she added quickly, "I don't think he would ever go so far as to do this. He might have some...sympathies with Mulciber and Avery, but he was never particularly vocal about it. Last June aside."

"I certainly trust your opinion on that matter, Miss Evans. Thank you for your honesty."

Lily nodded, hoping she was right.

"That is all I can ask at this time, without further information. I have advised the others to act with great caution in the following days. If you like, I shall excuse you from your classes if you should choose to remain in the safety of Gryffindor Tower."

"I'm not hiding from anyone."

"Excellent." Some of the twinkle seemed to return to the Headmaster's eyes. "You, Miss Evans, are a treasure. I hope you will serve as an example to the other students in these trying times."

Lily _really_ blushed then.

Dumbledore excused her and she left, waiting with the others so that McGonagall could return them all to the dormitories together.

"What a start to the year, huh?" said Mary, who looked in slightly better spirits since her conversation with the Headmaster.

"Tomorrow's a new day. Maybe they'll find whoever is responsible tonight."

" _I_ told him it was probably Mulciber."

"Me too."

"Good. You're always right, so you probably are this time too. Which makes _me_ right and Mulciber expelled."

Lily laughed a little. "We'll see."

(A Little Lost At Sea)

Once back in the dormitory, James rummaged through his trunk, found a pack of cigarettes, removed one, and lit it with his wand. He went to the window and opened it so he could lean out and look over the castle grounds. It was not the ideal way to smoke, he thought as he took the first drag. James preferred to walk and have a wide-open space. But this would have to do for the night.

"Muggles think those things can kill you," Remus commented, climbing into bed and sprawling out on his stomach.

"They _will_. If you're a Muggle," James said.

"The beauty of magic," said Sirius. Unlike James, he didn't bother going to a window as he lit his own cigarette, but lounged on his bed.

"Just vanish the smoke when you're done this time, Padfoot. I don't want the room smelling like that after only the first night."

"Sure thing, Moony."

The stars shone unobscured that night, and James watched as the smoke from his cigarette drifted up toward them, casting a hazy glow in the darkness. He wasn't particularly surprised by the events of that evening—the argument with Evans or the propaganda littering the Entrance Hall—but neither of them particularly pleased him either. The threats from Lord Voldemort had been growing worse all summer. There were attacks and people had already died at his hands. But this was the first time he had shown himself to possess any influence at Hogwarts. It was a known fact that the Dark Lord feared only Albus Dumbledore, so if Voldemort were behind the posters, it would mean he had decided to stop fearing the Headmaster. It would mean Hogwarts was no longer as safe as everyone once thought.

"So that new Defense teacher," Sirius began after a long moment.

"That bird is fit."

"And she's only what? Nineteen or twenty?"

"She's been out of school for two years," said James. "I remember her, but I think she's gotten even _more_ fit."

"Did any of you see a ring? I didn't think to look," said Sirius.

"We could just ask Marlene," said Peter.

"Not a good idea, Wormtail," said Remus. "Marlene didn't look thrilled to have her sister back at school."

"But why?"

"As the only one here with siblings," said Sirius, "just trust me. If you think you're done with them for good, it's never fun to have to see them again."

"That's a bit dark, Padfoot."

Sirius shrugged, taking a long drag and exhaling slowly. The smoke moved with his breath as he spoke. "I'm sure Marlene Penn isn't worried about her sister becoming be a Death Eater or anything, but you live in someone's shadow long enough, you start to resent them."

The Marauders were quiet for a while, each confined to their own thoughts. Finally, Remus asked, "Are we going to wait up for Professor McGonagall to tell us what's going on?"

James pulled out the map and muttered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Soon enough, the meticulously drawn castle and grounds appeared on the parchment, and James saw the small dot labeled "Professor McGonagall" heading away from the Ravenclaw Tower with other dots labeled "Lily Evans," "Mary MacDonald," "Gracie Corey," "Ken Carlson," "Eliza Gentry," and "Geoffrey Sikes."

"Looks like she's almost here. I imagine she's escorting the Muggle-borns back to their dormitories personally to make sure they're safe."

"Might as well wait up then," said Sirius. "Though I doubt they've found anything yet. It's not like any of the students in the posters know anything about who did it."

"I wonder if Lily told Professor Dumbledore about Snape and what he said to her last year," said Peter. "Maybe he was the one who put up the posters—to get revenge."

James shook his head. "Snape is a coward. He wouldn't do something so bold." What the Quidditch Captain chose _not_ to mention was the fact that Snape was also still clearly in love with Evans. This irritated James more than he cared to admit.

"I never thought I would see the day that James Potter defends Severus Snape," said Remus, smiling wryly.

"I'm not defending him," said James, tossing his cigarette out the window and turning to face the others. "I'm saying he hasn't got the guts to do anything."

"Better head down to the Common Room. They'll be back any minute."

The four Marauders did so, and found it rather crowded as people waited for news. They stood near the boys' staircase, since all the chairs were currently occupied. James watched as Sylvia Dearborn sat in quiet counsel with Alice Shields and Marlene Penn. The seventh year seemed to be talking very rapidly about something he could not hear.

Soon, the portrait hole opened and McGonagall and the students entered. Mary seemed a bit pale and fourth year Eliza Gentry looked as though she had been crying, but everyone else appeared to be all right.

Lily, Gracie, and Mary made their way over to Sylvia, Marlene, and Alice, who quickly stood to allow their friends to sit. James watched Lily shake her head and smile at them. She seemed to glow with the light of the fire behind her, (god he hated that).

"I told you I would come with news," said Professor McGonagall, her thin glasses glinting in the orange light. "But I regret to inform you that there is little that can be said at this time. After speaking with the victims of this propaganda, Professor Dumbledore has not been able to come to any solid conclusion. The teachers will continue to search the castle and the grounds, but we believe that the culprit has long fled the scene."

"And if it's a student?" asked Marlene from across the room.

"If it's a student, then he or she will be found and dealt with accordingly. The staff will remain vigilant, so they will not be able to get away with such a thing again. Now, I suggest you all get to bed. Classes will be held as usual tomorrow, and I will have your schedules at breakfast."

There was some grumbling among the younger students as the Transfiguration teacher turned and departed.

"Well, you heard her," said Peter, stretching and yawning. " _I_ for one am ready to sleep."

Sirius and Remus made sounds of agreement and joined the group of students heading up toward the dormitories. James followed. On the landing, he ran into Lily and Marlene, who had come up on the girls' side. He and Lily met eyes and, to his surprise, she didn't glare or look away. She just looked tired, and James imagined she had bigger things to worry about than her feud with him. Of course, that didn't stop him from asking her what was on his mind.

"Did you tell Dumbledore about Snape?" The words just came out, without any thought for tact. _Stupid_ , he told himself. He had already reasoned that Snape was not the one behind the propaganda, but for some reason, he still wanted to point out that it _could_ have been.

Lily did not look surprised. Her green eyes narrowed, as did Marlene's golden ones.

"James, don't—" Marlene began, but Lily cut her off.

" _No_. In fact, I told him that Severus likely didn't have anything to do with it. Primarily because Severus did _not_ do it. Six years of friendship tells me that much, _at least_. I know you always want to assume the worst of him, Potter, but this isn't his style and you know it."

"His style seemed to be to call you a you-know-what in front of the entire school." The words were coming out faster than James could even register what precisely he was saying. It was like watching two trains colliding and being able to do nothing to stop them. "What about this is different exactly?"

Lily's mouth fell open in a perfect "O" and James bit his bottom lip, hard. But it was too late.

"For all _I_ know, _you_ could be behind it, Potter," she spat. "Isn't it _your_ style to publically insult innocent people just because you _can_?"

James opened his mouth to defend himself, but she didn't give him the chance.

"I meant what I said at dinner. I think it would be better for everyone if you and I just didn't speak to each other. At all."

With that, she turned on her heel and made her way up the steps to the dormitory. Marlene gave James a look that clearly said, "You're a complete idiot" before following Lily upstairs.

James shoved his hands in his pockets and started toward his own dormitory, where the other Marauders were already in bed. He sat on the windowsill and lit another cigarette.

She was probably right. (Lily usually was). It would be better for everyone if they didn't interact at all, but James Potter was in the habit of doing whatever suited him at any given moment, so he could, of course, make no promise to stay away from Lily Evans.

* * *

 **A/N: Of course FFN goes down the MOMENT I try to post this. Literally. The exact second. ALACK. But it's all right I guess.**

 **So here's a new story for you! For those of you who read my AtLA or LoK stories, you know this is quite longer than my usual chapter length, but I intend for all the chapters in this story to be longer.**

 **Lily and James will always by my OTP, and so very close to my heart, which is why I've never written anything for them before. Nothing ever lives up to my expectations.** _ **This**_ **doesn't quite live up to my expectations, but it will have to do. I hope it isn't confusing. You know when you have things in your head for so long that they obviously make sense to you but might not make sense to anyone else? Yeah.**

 **Reviews are love and the website working again.**

 **Gwen**


	2. A Storm That's Starting Now

**A/N:** Thank you to all those who favorited and put this story on your alerts! That means a lot to me. (: I'm glad you're liking the story so far. And big thanks to Triptic Writer, Supergoddad, and the anonymous reviewer for leaving your thoughts!

 **Chapter Two: A Storm That's Starting Now**

* * *

 **PART ONE**

* * *

"Bloody _hell_."

"Didn't know you swore, Evans."

"Shut up, Black."

The pair had entered the Great Hall that morning with a few other early-risers (Sirius liked to have as much time to eat as possible; Lily wanted to do the crossword from yesterday's _Prophet_ ). It was September the sixth, a Monday. The posters in the Entrance Hall had not come off the walls, in spite of rigorous efforts by the staff, but Dumbledore _had_ been able to charm them so the images smiled and the words now read "Welcome to Hogwarts." Lily found it a bit unnerving to come face-to-face with herself every time she left the Great Hall, but this was preferable to the Mudblood posters.

Today, the tables were covered with what looked like postcards. Hundreds, maybe thousands, littered the Hall, which had prompted Lily's expletive. These, too, featured the faces of students, but inside of "Beware the Mudbloods," they read "Do Not Trust the Half-bloods."

Lily picked up one from the Gryffindor table that depicted Marlene. "Honestly, these don't seem all that threatening," she said to Sirius, turning it over in her hand. It _was_ a postcard, addressed simply to "Hogwarts."

"Easier to get rid of, too," said the Marauder. He nodded to where Professors McGonagall and Flitwick were hurrying around the Hall, vanishing as many as they could before more students arrived. Sirius found one of Remus and started drawing what looked like bunny ears on his friend's picture.

Lily sat down on the bench, clearing the pictures off a plate and loading it with fruit and toast.

"Not helping the teachers, little miss prefect?"

Lily shook her head, pouring herself a large cup of coffee. "It is entirely too early for such things."

Sirius grinned. "I knew you had to have a weakness in there somewhere."

Lily and Sirius had eaten breakfast together almost every day since the end of her friendship with Severus, excluding the summer holiday, of course. Severus used to join her in the mornings, though he hated the crossword. He would sit at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, since (Lily guessed) his Slytherin friends were not up to see him there. It was a strange fact—eating breakfast with Sirius Black—that Lily had not bothered to mention to any of her friends, but she found his presence oddly comforting. Alone, Sirius was quite tolerable.

"Five letter word for "Arrow Chaser?"

"Astor," Sirius told her, filling his own plate. "She's bloody good too. Probably the best the Arrows have had in years."

"Miss Evans, Mr. Black."

"Good morning, Professor," Lily told Professor McGonagall, who had finished vanishing the flyers (Lily wasn't sure what exactly to call them) in the Great Hall and came to stand beside the pair.

"Any idea who decided to use the Great Hall as a giant wastebin?" asked Sirius.

McGonagall's mouth was thin, and Lily knew this was not the time for jokes.

"Unfortunately, no," said the older witch. "Miss Evans, if you could fetch Mr. Lupin. We're asking the prefects to aid us—these images have appeared in all the classrooms. We need the prefects to help vanish them before morning classes."

Lily looked longingly at her coffee. Sighing, she said, "All right. I'll go find him."

"If your and Mr. Lupin would take the library and the empty classrooms on the fourth floor, and send any other prefects here to me, that would be a great help, and each of you will earn five points for Gryffindor."

"We'll do it, professor."

"I don't suppose _you_ want to help, Mr. Black."

"Nah," said Sirius. "Evans, leave the crossword, would you?"

"Only if you bring fresh coffee for me to Defense."

" _Fine_."

Lily had hoped to run into Remus on her way back to the common room, but had no luck. She hurried up the steps to the boys' dormitories and knocked loudly on the one that should have been labeled "Sixth Years," but instead had been charmed to say "Marauders."

It was James who opened the door, peeking around it. His hair was wet from the shower and Lily suspected he wasn't dressed.

"Evans?"

"Is Remus in there?"

"Good morning to you, too."

"I really don't have the time right now, Potter. McGonagall needs Remus and me."

He looked as though he might ask, but decided against it. "Hang on."

He shut the door and Lily could hear muffled voices coming from inside. A few minutes later, Remus exited the dorm, still doing the buttons on his shirt.

"What's going on?" he asked as Lily started down the steps to the common room. He followed.

She pulled out the photo of Marlene she had picked up earlier and showed it to him. "There were loads of them. Probably a hundred for every half-blood in the school. McGonagall vanished them from the Great Hall, but they're in the classrooms too. We're supposed to clear the library and the fourth floor classrooms before classes start."

"These don't even seem all that threatening," said Remus. "It's a good picture of Marlene. You'd think they would at least choose bad ones."

"There are no bad pictures of Marlene," said Lily, climbing through the portrait hole and making quickly for the staircase. Remus kept pace with her. "But that's what I said, too. These really don't seem like that big of a deal."

"Whoever's doing it is probably just showing that they _can_."

Lily agreed. Then she saw Frank and Alice heading toward the Great Hall.

"Frank!" she called. They both turned around.

"Morning, Lily."

"Frank, McGonagall is looking for you," said Lily. She didn't really want to explain all the details again. "She's in the Great Hall. It's nothing terrible, but you need to speak with her."

"Lily what's—"

"I'm sorry, Alice, but Remus and I really have to go. Talk to Sirius. He'll explain." Lily-without-coffee had less patience than caffeinated Lily.

With that, she and Remus headed down one more floor and hurried into the library.

"Whoa."

The flyers covered every available surface, including the floor.

"Seems a bit much," said Lily sourly. "We'd better get to work."

Remus nodded and they headed to opposite ends of the large room.

" _Evanesco_ ," Lily muttered, and a handful of the flyers vanished, but it seemed they were several layers deep. "Good grief."

"This is going to take forever," Remus called from across the room.

"I hope they catch whoever did this so I can drown them in Moaning Myrtle's toilet," said Lily.

"Harsh."

"I just wanted my coffee this morning, but no."

He heard Remus laugh, though she couldn't see him through the shelves.

" _Evanesco_ ," the witch said again, sweeping her wand in a wider arc. More vanished this time.

"The staff isn't making as big of a deal out of these," Lily commented nearly half an hour later, when they came into view of each other again. "Not as big of a deal as the Mudblood posters in the Entrance Hall, I mean. They don't seem to think anyone is in danger of this person anymore."

"Well they didn't do anything but put up the posters the first time. It's likely someone who supports Voldemort, but doesn't want to do anything too drastic."

"I wonder if it was as tedious for them to do this as it is for us to get rid of it?" said Lily, vanishing the last of the flyers and plopping down in one of the library chairs. Her mood was worsening as the morning went on.

"I certainly hope so. Maybe it'll deter them in the future."

" _Bloody hell_."

"Lily?"

"Look."

"Bloody _hell_."

The flyers were reappearing, as if they had not vanished them at all, but simply turned them invisible.

Frank entered then, followed by the Head Girl, a Ravenclaw named Miranda Jigger, and Professor McGonagall.

"Either you lot haven't even started yet," said Frank. "Or you've ran into the same problem we have."

"This is just ridiculous," said Lily, standing and kicking some of the photos on the floor. "What's the point anyway?"

"Did the ones in the Great Hall reappear?" asked Remus.

"Thankfully, no," said McGonagall.

"They were likely a distraction to make us think we could get rid of all them so easily," said Miranda.

"I imagine Professor Dumbledore will be able to get rid of these, but unfortunately, he is at a meeting at the Ministry of Magic today and will not return until tomorrow."

"We could hold some of the classes outside," Lily suggested. "Turn this into something positive. The weather should be lovely today, and everyone would like that. And the ones that have to be inside, like Potions, well...everyone's going to find out about these things anyway, so we could just work around them."

"It's not a bad idea," said Frank, speaking to Professor McGonagall, who seemed conflicted. "At least it might make for fewer distracted students."

"I suppose we could try it," said the Transfiguration teacher. "But we must make it known that _any_ misbehavior will cost house points."

"Of course, Professor."

(Caught On My Edges)

Marlene was sprawled out on the grass waiting for Defense to start. It was a beautiful day, and she could hug Lily for the suggestion to hold classes outdoors. The prefect had shown her the flyer with her face on it earlier, and honestly, it was a damn good picture. Besides, Marlene wasn't afraid of someone who had to hide behind parchment.

"I doubt I can learn anything on a day like this."

"Hey Jared," greeted Marlene. The Hufflepuff stretched out on his back, a happy grin on his face. Marlene poked him. "Not even from Rory?"

Jared McKinnon had practically lived with the Penns since he was eight. His parents had gone through a rough divorce, and his father, who was a Hogwarts friend of Marlene's father, had moved into the house next door with Jared. Mr. McKinnon worked for the Department of Magical Games and Sports, so he was often travelling with various Quidditch teams, leaving Jared in the care of the neighbors.

" _Especially_ not from Rory. Do you think she'll let us off today? Maybe if _I_ asked. She's always fancied me."

"She has not, you loser. And _no,_ unfortunately she seems really into her job."

"Have you spoken to her much since she started?"

"Not really," said Marlene as Jared sat up beside her. "I think we're both kind of pretending that the other doesn't exist."

"You two used to get along. What exactly happened?"

Marlene shook her head. More of their classmates were showing up to the spot on the lawn dedicated to Defense. Now that they were at N.E.W.T. level, the classes were a combination of all four houses. "I don't really know. We started growing apart when I joined the Quidditch team in third year—we never really saw eye-to-eye on that. She thought I should focus more on school—we had that row, do you remember?"

"Yeah, I still have a scar from that goblet."

"Sorry," Marlene winced. "But then she became Head Girl and was just _unbearable_ after that."

"So you think now that she's back she'll try to force her will on you again?" asked Jared, wrapping his arms loosely around his knees.

Marlene shrugged. "That's why I haven't spoken to her yet."

"I think you should try to talk to her," said Jared earnestly, his blue eyes staring halfway into her soul. "Family's important."

"I might," said Marlene, looking away and thinking that she probably would _not_.

(On Marlene Penn)

Marlene was the type of girl that turned heads when she walked into a room. She was tall, taller than all the other Gryffindor girls in her year. She was thin, athletically built, and lucky enough to possess abnormally good skin. She had prominent cheekbones and large, straight teeth surrounded by full lips. Her hair was golden blonde and fell in loose curls down to her mid back. Her eyes were nearly the same color as her hair and a source of envy for many female students. She didn't wear much makeup most days, as she would likely sweat it all off at Quidditch practice anyway. She wore Gryffindor red almost every day.

Her father was a wizard and her mother was a Muggle-born witch. The both had office jobs at the Ministry that Marlene never bothered to ask much about. Her mother worked in the Department of International Magical Cooperation and her father in the Department of Magical Transportation, and that was the extent of Marlene's knowledge. She had an older sister named Aurora (Rory) and a younger brother named Isaac. She got along with the latter much better than the former. Jared McKinnon was her oldest friend; Lily Evans was her closest.

Marlene played Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She could hold her liquor, but not her sugar, and her friends knew to keep her away from sweets if they didn't want her jittery and talkative into the wee hours of the morning. She enjoyed Care of Magical Creatures and Charms, but loathed Potions and Herbology. She loved Muggle philosophy books and music she could dance to. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do after Hogwarts, but wasn't as concerned about that fact as Aurora and her parents thought she should be.

She did not really have relationships. She went on dates (blokes asked her out quite often), but she always backed out once things started to get anywhere near serious. As that made her nervous. She liked blokes she could have fun with, not ones that wanted to talk about the future. She had discovered the previous year that she would never be able to date a bloke that was shorter than she. It was superficial, she knew, but it made her feel awkward and insecure when she had tried it with Ethan Hooper the term before.

Jared McKinnon was shorter than Marlene Penn. (Presently).

(Simple)

"All right everyone," Professor Penn as she joined the students seated in the grass. "As I doubt any of you bothered to bring your textbooks, we'll be doing practical magic today. Everyone partner up."

"Partners?" Jared asked, standing and brushing off his trousers.

Marlene looked to see Lily and Alice partnering up, so she nodded. "Partners. I'll try not to hurt you."

"Ha. Is that a challenge, Penn?"

"Not particularly, as you don't _pose_ much of a challenge, McKinnon," she teased.

"Oh, we'll see about that."

"As you all might know," Professor Penn continued, walking among the pairs. "In sixth year, you must start learning to perform spells nonverbally. This is difficult, but is a necessity if you want to pass your N.E.W.T.s next year. It takes a great deal of concentration, but once you master it, it will come just as easily and your spells will be just as powerful as if you were to speak them."

There was some grumbling among the students. They had begun nonverbal spells in Transfiguration the first day of classes, and they were all already sick of them.

"We'll start pretty easy. I simply want you to disarm your partner without an incantation. I doubt any of you have partnered yourselves with someone you dislike, so I imagine there will be little risk of injury."

"Clearly she's never seen Greta Catchlove try to perform a nonverbal spell," Jared muttered to Marlene. She looked over to see the poor girl practically shaking with concentration. Her partner's robes promptly caught fire.

"Merlin, I'm sorry Phoebe!"

Marlene laughed a little, then turned to face Jared, who stood about five feet away. "You want to go first, or shall I?"

"I'll do it."

He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and raised his wand. Marlene felt her own wand twitch violently, but it remained in her hand.

"Damn," he said. "Thought I had you."

"Well it moved, at least," Marlene encouraged. "My turn."

She mimicked his movements, closing her eyes, breathing, raising her wand. _Expelliarmus,_ she said in her mind, focusing all her attention on the wand in Jared's left hand. It twitched, just like hers had done, but he was not disarmed.

"It moved," he told her with a shrug.

Marlene looked around. It appeared that everyone seemed to be at about the same level, except Sirius Black and James Potter.

The two were partners (as they always were when the teacher didn't know enough to separate them), and James pointed his wand at Sirius, said nothing, and caught Sirius's wand as it flew out of his hand. He tossed it back, and Sirius did the same to James seconds later.

"It doesn't look like they're throwing them," Marlene said, after she and Jared observed the pair for a moment. "Though I wouldn't put it past them."

"Good work, you two," Professor Penn told them enthusiastically as she weaved through the students, offering advice. "Really, I didn't imagine anyone would pick it up so quickly."

James grinned and Sirius twirled his wand lazily between his fingers. Remus rolled his eyes and turned back to his partner, Peter. Neither of them seemed to have managed it yet.

"Talented bastards," Jared said, shaking his head.

"Look alive," Marlene told him. "Sister dear is heading this way."

"Jared, good to see you again," said the older Penn. "Hello, Marlene."

"Hey, Rory," they said together.

"I really must insist you call me Professor, for... professional purposes. Besides, you know I hate that nickname."

"Professor Rory," said Marlene, pretending to test out the name.

"Professor _Penn_ , Marlene."

"Too weird," insisted Marlene, shaking her head. Aurora sighed, as if she knew she was fighting a losing battle. She looked very much like Marlene, though her hair was a bit lighter and her frame a bit shorter and fuller through the chest and hips.

"Agreed," said Jared. "Anyway, how's the teaching life?"

"Oh, um, good," said Aurora, clearly not expecting a personal conversation. "But I should get moving. I don't really have time to talk. Keep trying on those nonverbals, yeah?"

"Right," said Marlene. She glanced at Jared, thinking about he had said. Family _was_ important, especially when there might be a war going on. "Listen, Rory—"

"Professor Penn."

"Whatever, look, maybe we should, er, have lunch sometime or something?"

Jared gave her a thumbs-up over Aurora's shoulder. She looked very surprised.

"Oh, Marlene, I didn't think you'd want—"

"I _don't_ particularly," admitted Marlene, crossing her arms and looking at the ground as she spoke. "But there's a war starting and family...family is important, right?"

Aurora looked at her for a moment, crossing her own arms. "Yeah. It is. Okay...how about this weekend? Maybe Saturday?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Good."

"Right, well, I better go. Nice seeing you, Marlene."

"Mhm."

Aurora walked away and the tightness in Marlene's stomach dissipated. Jared put a hand on her shoulder and grinned.

"Good for you," he said. "Knew you could do it."

"Don't congratulate me until _after_ I have lunch with her. Now go back over there. I want to try this again."

(Luck Is A Lady)

Defense ended and Lily was annoyed. She'd barely been able to make Alice's wand move at all, much less disarm her. Alice had managed to disarm Lily once and Potter and Black seemed to have no problem with it at all. She should be able to get this.

"Enjoy your coffee, Evans?" Sirius asked as she packed her bag.

"Finish the crossword, Black?"

"I'm missing nineteen across," he said, pulling the paper out of his back pocket and pointing to the blank spaces. "Fifteen letters, Harrison song."

"Here Comes the Sun," said Lily easily. "George Harrison wrote that one."

"They're Muggles," said Sirius, borrowing Lily's quill to fill in the blanks. "How do the people at _The Prophet_ expect us to know that?"

"Please, everyone knows The Beatles." James had joined the conversation, looking back and forth being Lily and Sirius with a slightly annoyed expression on his face.

"You didn't know that one, Prongs."

"You didn't _ask_ me, Padfoot."

An arm around Lily's shoulders startled her, and she looked up to see Clark standing next to her. He kissed the top of her head.

"Hello, love," he said, picking up her bag. "How was Defense?" He had chosen not to take Defense at the N.E.W.T. level and had come from Arithmancy, which had taken place across the lawn.

The witch took her quill back from Sirius and waved to her friends before departing with her boyfriend. They had a fifteen minute break before the next period.

"It was all right," she said truthfully. "We worked on nonverbal spells. Difficult, aren't they?"

"I've managed it a few times," said Clark. "Nothing complicated yet, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it."

"Oh. I'm certainly not. I barely made Alice's wand move at all."

"You'll get it, Lily. It might just take more practice."

"I suppose so."

He took her hand, weaving their fingers together as they walked aimlessly around the lawn. "It's going to be hard to go inside for Potions after this weather," Clark said. The wind blew through his brown curls and made his robes swirl around him.

" _I know_ ," Lily agreed, swinging their arms between them. Severus was in Potions, which was a significantly smaller class than Defense. She suspected Clark only took it because he knew Severus would be in it at the N.E.W.T. level with Lily, which was fine. She needed a new partner. Marlene was taking it too, but she was atrocious at Potions and she complained the entire time of how atrocious she was. She only took the class at all because she thought, at the time, that she might want to be an Auror. And Alice and Mary had been partners since first year. "At least we're going together."

She stood on her toes and kissed him softly on the mouth. Clark smiled down at her with that perfect, straight smile. "We'd better head toward the castle," she told him. "Break's almost over."

They did so, though it took a moment for their eyes to adjust to the dim light as they descended to the dungeons. The door to Slughorn's classroom was closed, and Lily imagined he was clearing away flyers from cauldrons before everyone entered. She and Clark joined the queue. There were four other Ravenclaws: Edgar Bones, Cora LaFolle, Tristan Higgs, and Margo Bobbin; two Hufflepuffs: Skyla Tofty and Thaddeus Capper; four Slytherins: Severus, Avery, Mulciber, and Marina Vaisey; and six Gryffindors: Marlene, Alice, Mary, James, Sirius, and Remus. Peter had received an "Acceptable" on his Potions O.W.L. and Slughorn had not seen fit to allow him into the N.E.W.T. level, even though it was the same score Marlene had achieved, but Marlene was Slug Club and Peter was not.

"Nice picture," Wyatt Avery was saying to Marlene as Lily and Clark approached. He was waving one of the flyers from earlier with Marlene's picture on it. "I'll have to save this."

"You're a creep, Avery," said Marlene.

"You heard McGonagall's announcement," Lily added, moving to stand at Marlene's side. "Students are supposed to return any flyers they find outside the classrooms to the Great Hall."

"What are you going to do about it, Evans? Dock points?"

"Just leave it, Lily," Clark said, pulling her and Marlene a few feet away from the Slytherins. "It's not worth it."

Lily pursed her lips, but knew he was probably right.

"Evans might not do anything," said another voice. James Potter now stood where Lily had just been. "But _I_ will. We all know what you want to do with that picture of Marlene, but she is _way_ too good for you, Avery."

Avery paled slightly. It was a known fact that he would very much like to get Marlene alone. "You just want this picture for yourself," he said.

James rolled his eyes, his wand pointed casually at Avery. "Blondes aren't really my type. No offense, Marlene." He ran his free hand through his hair. "Now give it here."

Avery looked like he was going to argue, but Professor Slughorn opened the classroom door. "Not like I can't get another one," muttered the Slytherin, shoving the paper into James's hands before slinking through the door.

James came toward them, holding out the flyer to Marlene.

"Thanks, James. You didn't need to do that," she said, taking the picture and sliding it into her bag.

"I'm a bit surprised you didn't punch him, to be honest, mate," said Sirius.

"You're always surprised when I don't punch people, Padfoot," James said, rolling his eyes at the taller boy. "I don't actually hit people _that_ often."

"Moony, when was the last time Prongs hit someone?" Sirius asked as they made their way into the classroom. Lily followed with Clark, but couldn't hear the answer. From the look on Sirius's face though, it had been a while. James grinned wryly.

"Reckless," Clark muttered as they sat down. "Potter is always starting fights like that."

"Marlene appreciated it, though," said Lily. She pulled out _Advanced Potion Making_ and set it on the table, pushing stacks of flyers out of the way. Briefly, she wondered if there were any with Sev on them. He _was_ a half-blood after all, yet she couldn't recall seeing a single one during the time she had spent clearing the library that morning.

"I thought you weren't talking to him."

"Who?"

"James Potter."

"Have I said a word to him?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Guess not."

Lily laughed. "Calm down about him, will you? I could understand why you were angry about Severus," she said the name softly so the hook nosed boy would not hear her. "But James Potter? Trust me, I would never spend time with him over you. In fact, I am doing my best to not spend any time with him at all."

"I know, it's just...everyone knows he kind of fancies you."

"Good god, I am not having this conversation with you," she said, growing a bit annoyed. Now he sounded like Severus. "Who bloody cares if Potter fancies me or not? I've made my choice, haven't I?"

Clark brightened at that, realizing that Lily, as usual, was right.

"Sorry, Lils," Clark said, finding his own textbook in his bag. "I forget that you're not as taken by him as most girls are."

Lily wanted to say, "Most girls are idiots," but knew that that was not true. James Potter worked very hard for girls' attention. It was not entirely the girls' fault for giving it to him.

Professor Slughorn, who had been busy shoving flyers into empty cabinets, abandoned his efforts and stood in front of the class. As this was a double period, the students only had it on Mondays, so this was their first Potions class of the term. Lily noted that Slughorn seemed to have lost a little weight over the summer and there were tired circles under his eyes.

"Welcome to N.E.W.T. level Potions," he said brightly as ever. "As you can see, there are a few pre-brewed potions around the room for your observation. There was _going_ to be a Polyjuice Potion among them, but unfortunately the events of this morning interrupted the final step. So, let's identify them, shall we? On your feet, everyone."

They stood and followed him to the first cauldron, simmering over a low fire. The liquid inside was a bright, sunshine yellow and it smelled subtly of chocolate. "Can anyone tell me what this is?" asked Slughorn. When the class was silent for a moment, Lily raised her hand.

"I should have expected you would know, Miss Evans," said Slughorn, delighted.

"It's an Elixir to Induce Euphoria," said Lily. "As the name suggests, it induces euphoria in the drinker, and is typically used in small doses on people who suffer temporary depression."

"Correct! Five points to Gryffindor. Let's move along to the next one, shall we?"

The next cauldron contained a bright white liquid that bubbled thickly.

"Smells like Skele-Gro," James said, looking a little green.

"Merlin, that stuff's the worst," said Sirius, shivering slightly.

" _Another_ five points to Gryffindor," said Slughorn. "In a surprising turn of events, Mr. Potter answers his first question in Potions after five years in my class." James looked disgruntled—it was so out of place on his usually smirking face that Lily laughed.

"But Skele-Gro is a brand name," said Remus. "I didn't realize the recipe was public."

"It's not," said Slughorn. "This is actually the original formula, simply known as a 'Bone Re-growing Potion.' It's not as fast-acting as Skele-Gro, but it works well in a pinch. Right-o. On to the next one."

James and Sirius gave the Bone Re-growing Potion a wide berth, and Lily wondered when they had had to use it. Probably something to do with Quidditch.

The next potion looked like boiling water.

"Veritaserum," Severus Snape answered before Slughorn could ask.

"Indeed! Mr. Snape, five points to Slytherin at last. Can you tell us a bit about this potion?"

"It's odorless, tasteless, and forces the drinker to tell the truth. Use of it is strictly controlled by the Ministry. The key ingredient, Runespoor venom, is only available through the Ministry to wizards with the proper permits."

"Excellent, excellent, Mr. Snape, as always. Two more to go..."

The class sniffed the next potion with interest, everyone seemingly lost in thought.

"This one's Amortentia," said Lily. Slughorn beamed. "You can tell by the mother-of-pearl sheen and the characteristic spirals in the steam. It's the most powerful love potion in the world and smells differently to everyone, depending on their taste." Lily did not tell him what she smelled: freshly brewed coffee, lilacs, something delightfully woodsy, and something faint that she could not quite place. It might have been cologne.

"Five _more_ points to Gryffindor. Surely a Slytherin will answer the next one..." The Professor looked hopefully at Severus.

When they got there, Lily let Sev have it.

"Felix Felicis," he said quietly, and Lily could see his eyes widening as he looked at the molten gold. "Liquid luck."

" _Indeed_ , Mr. Snape. Five points to Slytherin! This potion grants the drinker perfect luck for a specified amount of time—a tablespoon per six hours."

"Why don't people make this and sell it?" asked Mulciber from his place at the back of the group.

" _Highly_ illegal, Mr. Mulciber," said Slughorn. "Felix Felicis is not allowed on any type of examination—at school or in the world. You cannot take it before a job interview or a court hearing. It may _only_ be taken in the comfort of one's home on an entirely ordinary day. Besides, it is extremely complex to brew and most witches and wizards lose patience with it or do something ever so slightly wrong, and the potion does not work."

There was some muttering among the students until Slughorn held up a small vial filled with the golden potion. "This," he said. "Is the prize for whoever is able to brew the best Draught of Living Death during today's class period. There is enough in here for two people to each have one perfect day, so partner up. _No_ Mr. Black, you may _not_ partner with Mr. Potter..."

Lily instinctively looked for Severus in the crowd of students before correcting herself and returning to the table she shared with Clark.

"So, are you any good with Potions?" Lily asked him as they searched through _Advanced_ _Potion Making_ for the proper recipe.

"Not particularly, no," Clark admitted.

"Okay, I'll work on the Potion. You can get things for me from the supply closet and _maybe_ help prepare some of the ingredients."

He nodded, smiling at her bossiness. "Probably for the best."

It was an extremely difficult potion to brew, Lily noticed after a quick scan of the instructions and ingredients. "Clark, we'll need valerian root, infusion of Wormwood, sloth brain (ew), and powdered root of asphodel to start," she instructed, lighting a fire with her wand beneath the cauldron and heating it to precisely the right temperature while her boyfriend went to the supply closet. He returned a few moments later.

"Chop the valerian root," she told him as she carefully weighed and poured infusion of wormwood. "Make sure all the pieces are the same size and shape."

"Is that really important?"

" _Yes_."

Lily looked around. It seemed people in her immediate area were listening to her directions too. She knew her only real competition in the class was Severus, who sat several tables away and appeared to arguing with his partner, Mulciber.

She added the asphodel carefully, stirring the potion exactly twice clockwise. The sloth brain and valerian root went in next, in that order, and Lily smiled as her potion started to emit blue steam. It was the first in the class to do so.

"The book says cut up the Sopophorous beans to get the juice, but this is harder than it looks," Clark said to her. Lily, who had been taking a moment to admire the smooth, black liquid in her cauldron, turned to her boyfriend.

"I'll teach you a trick," she said, grabbing her silver knife. Without speaking (people were still paying attention to her instructions), Lily crushed the beans with the flat side of the knife, as she had seen Severus do nearly a hundred times. Sure enough, juice pooled on her liquid-proof cutting board and the witch poured it into the potion. It immediately turned the perfect shade of lilac and Lily grinned triumphantly.

 _BANG!_

Everyone jumped and quickly searched for the source of the noise, some people covering their heads with their arms. Lily's first though was to find Sirius or James, who had been known in the past to blow up their own potions on purpose to "liven things up." But the sound was _not_ coming from either Marauder, as they were looking around just as surprised as she was. At last, her eyes found Severus Snape.

" _Mr. Mulciber_ ," Slughorn said, hurrying over to where the two boys stood, covered in thick purple goo. "Did I not _just_ hear Mr. Snape tell you _not_ to add the Sopophorous beans whole? That is _clearly_ what happened here."

Mulciber shrugged, wiping goo out of his eyes. "I didn't see what the big deal was."

"The shell of the beans reacts badly with the asphodel root," said Slughorn. "A fact that I am sure Mr. Snape was well aware of when he gave you those instructions." He sighed, running a hand over his face. "Get to the hospital wing, you two. You'll both receive "Acceptable" marks for this lesson, unfortunately, and Mr. Mulciber, I expect two feet on the effects of Sopophorous beans and root of asphodel on my desk next Monday."

"Will anything bad happen to them?" asked Marina Vaisey, watching them leave with a worried expression on her face.

"Likely not," said Slughorn. "The explosion also acts to neutralize the potion, so they are fortunate in that. Anyway, time's up! The lightest purple color will be the winner."

He started going around to various tables. Remus and James seemed to have managed something rather good, judging by Slughorn's reaction. Sirius and Marlene clearly had _not_ , as the professor recoiled from their cauldron very quickly.

"Miss Evans! Lovely, lovely! Obviously the winner! I trust you'll share," he had, handing Lily the bottle of Felix Felicis and winking at Clark. Lily glowed. She loved being the best.

As the class was leaving, Slughorn stopped Lily. "Miss Evans? If I could have a word, please?"

"I'll meet you at lunch," Lily told Clark and the girls before following Slughorn into his office.

The Potions professor seated himself behind his desk and rested his elbows on top, touching the tips of his fingers together in a very Dumbledore-like pose. "I noticed that you and Severus were not partners today. Is something wrong? You two worked so well together."

Lily had expected this conversation and she flopped down in the chair across from him. "We're not really friends anymore," she admitted. Her eyes started burning and the witch blinked hard. It was still difficult to talk about. "I don't...I don't know what happened, really. We just grew apart, I guess." She couldn't tell Slughorn when had really happened. She couldn't bring herself to admit that Severus had chosen Mulciber and Avery over her.

Slughorn nodded sadly. "It happens, I am afraid. I do hope things get better."

"Thank you, professor."

"Enjoy your liquid luck," he said as a means of parting. "I know _you_ earned it. Broadmoor is a bit...impaired when it comes to potion making."

"At least he listens better than Mulciber," she said with a small smile. "See you at the Slug Club this weekend."

Slughorn waved, brushing flyers off his desk as he did so.

* * *

 **PART TWO**

* * *

 _Wednesday, September 8, 1976_

 _Dear Journal,_

 _Fuck today._

 _-Lily_

(That Morning)

Lily sat alone at breakfast. Dumbledore had, thankfully, returned the night before and rid the school of the Half-blood flyers, so that was one less thing to worry about. A halfway finished crossword lay on the table in front of her and the sky was slowly darkening as storm clouds crawled into view over the castle. Astronomy took place Tuesday nights, which explained Sirius's absence that morning. Lily chose _not_ to take Astronomy on the N.E.W.T. level ("bloody pointless," she had told Alice and Marlene). She was on her second cup of coffee when Alice, Marlene, and Mary arrived.

"Of course it rains when we have Care of Magical Creatures," Marlene said dryly, pouring her own coffee.

"Better than Care of Magical Creatures _and_ Herbology," said Lily, for that, indeed was what her morning schedule held.

"It's not our fault you decided to take N.E.W.T. level Herbology," Mary teased. "Gross."

" _I_ like it," Lily insisted. "I just don't enjoy walking to the greenhouses in the rain..."

The Marauders arrived then, sliding into seats a little ways along the table. They were followed promptly by the mail.

Lily, having already finished her breakfast, unrolled the _Daily Prophet_. What she saw there made her mouth fall open.

 **MINISTRY REQUIRES REGISTRATION OF MUGGLE-BORNS**

 _With the rise of the Dark Lord Voldemort and the increasing number of deaths at the hands of those who support him, it is the official decision of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to begin a registry of all Muggle-born witches and wizards. Fleamont Potter, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and spokesmen for the D.M.L.E., spoke with_ Prophet _reporter Senna Quicksilver immediately after the decision was announced late last night. "It's for the best," said Mr. Potter. "We keep a register of Animagi for their own safety, and that is exactly what we intend to do with the Muggle-born registry. We have to know who they are in order to protect them from this Lord Voldemort."_

" _I know it's a controversial idea," Bartemius Crouch, Head of the D.M.L.E., told t_ he Prophet _. "But we must start acting instead of reacting against the threats of Lord Voldemort."_

 _Muggle-borns are asked to report to the Ministry of Magic building in London at designated times, specified by last name. These times can be found on page 6..._

"What's wrong, Lily?" asked Marlene. The blonde's eyebrows were knitted together and her mouth was turned down in a frown when Lily looked up at her.

Next to them, James Potter swore, stood without a word to his friends, and stormed out of the Great Hall.

Lily turned the paper around so they could see the headline. "They want all Muggle-borns to be registered with the Ministry 'for our protection.'"

Mary shrugged. "So?"

" _So_ it's absurd," said Lily, burning outrage slowly building in her stomach. "First of all, they can't do that. It's a form of discrimination. And I'm not ashamed of being Muggle-born at all, but that would show up on our record forever, and people with prejudices could use that against us in the future. Second, to have a record like that all in one place is just begging for an attack by Death Eaters, and if they get hold of such a list, well I imagine it would be much easier for them to hunt down Muggle-borns."

"But surely the D.M.L.E. people thought about all that before they made the decision. They have to think it will do more good than harm," said Mary.

"It sounds a bit weird to me," said Marlene. "But maybe Mary's right. Crouch is an all right bloke, from what I've heard."

"It sounds to me like Death Eaters might be influencing the Ministry," Alice said, and Lily nodded.

"There's no _way_ ," said Mary.

"Isn't there?" asked Lily. "There are hundreds of employees at the Ministry. It can't be that hard for a Death Eater with a solid background to get a job and start stirring up trouble."

"You don't think Bartemius Crouch..."

"No, and probably not this... _Potter?_ That's not..."

"James's dad, yeah," Alice confirmed.

"Probably not him either, I guess. But someone with enough power to influence less powerful people. If they voted, it wouldn't matter if Crouch and Potter voted no if everyone else voted yes. I mean, read that quote from Crouch. It sounds like he's trying to rationalize for himself just as much as he is for us."

"I think you're making a mountain of a molehill, Lily dear," said Mary.

Lily blew hair out of her eyes dejectedly. "I just don't think it's a good idea to put my name on a list of people that other people want to kill."

(Stubborn As Stone)

James, meanwhile, paced back and forth in front of the gargoyle that lead to the Headmaster's office. He had checked the map and Dumbledore was, in fact, within, and McGonagall was heading towards it. She would have the password. It was not James's first choice, but he had exhausted the list of sweets he could come up with in his angered state.

"Potter," said the witch when she arrived. "What are you doing here?"

"You read the _Prophet_ , I'm sure," he answered bluntly. "I want to floo home and beat the living hell out of my father."

McGonagall seemed to see the futility in turning him away and instead, spoke to the gargoyle. "Pepper Imps."

" _Pepper Imps,_ " James repeated. "Damn, I should have thought of that."

It was a testament to how well McGonagall knew James Potter that she did not looked surprised by this statement. He took the moving stairs two at a time, while she followed at a reasonable pace behind him. The door opened as soon as he knocked.

"Mr. Potter. I imagined I would be seeing you today," said the Headmaster, gesturing for James to come and take a seat. James entered, but continued his pacing in front of the offered chair.

"I need to floo home," he began, as McGonagall came in behind him. " _Somebody_ has to talk some sense into my father. _Muggle-born registration_? It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"James, please, have a seat."

James did not.

Dumbledore sighed and sat down behind his desk. "James, I was at the meeting. They called high ranking members of the Wizengamot along with the voting members of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to discuss this."

"Don't tell me you think it's a good idea, too."

"Mr. Potter—" began McGonagall, but Dumbledore held up a hand to stop her scolding.

"It's quite all right, Minerva. And no, James, I did not support it. However, it seems that most of the voting members of both groups did."

"Did my father? His vote would count twice, being part of both."

"Interestingly, as a member of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, he voted it through, but as Chief Warlock, he voted against it."

"What...why? That seems pointless."

"Not quite, James. The D.M.L.E. vote was performed publicly, while the Wizengamot vote was conducted in private."

"So he wanted it to _look_ like he supported it? Why?"

"I believe there might be people within the Ministry of Magic that have Death Eater sympathies. If those people have power within the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, it could prove quite negative for all those who do not support Lord Voldemort. It is likely that your father wanted to keep his job, perhaps to figure out who the sympathizers might be."

James sat down then, resting his elbows on his knees. "How many votes did it pass by?"

"The D.M.L.E. vote was nearly unanimous. The Wizengamot vote was much less so. It passed by a vote of nine to eight."

"So are you actually going to let the students go through with this?"

"Good gracious, no," said Dumbledore, a twinkle in his eyes. "I made it very clear that this could not be applicable until witches and wizards are of age and have taken their N.E.W.T.s. If anyone wishes to come to Hogwarts and attempt to contradict me, I will have no qualms about contacting the Auror Department to handle the situation."

James smiled. "They didn't mention that bit in _The Prophet_."

"They are likely hoping that students will take it upon themselves to leave the school and register, but that would require permission by the Head of House, and I have already instructed those professors to tell students that they are not to register until they pass their N.E.W.T.s and leave Hogwarts permanently. Hopefully by then, the Ministry will realize that this is not as good of an idea as they seem to believe it is now."

The Headmaster leaned forward, touching the tips of his fingers together and looking at James over them through his half-moon spectacles. "Now, Mr. Potter, do you still wish to return home and, ah, 'beat the living hell' out of your father?"

Hearing those words come out of Dumbledore's mouth made James laugh. "No, I suppose not. He'll get off this time."

"Good."

James stood to leave.

"And Mr. Potter? I would not be opposed to you spreading word of the fact that students should not seek to leave the grounds to register. In fact, I would encourage it."

"Sure thing, Professor," said James.

(Troublemaker)

James left the office and Minerva McGonagall turned to Albus Dumbledore with a strange look on her face.

"Truthfully, he is never as bad as I think," she admitted.

"No," said Dumbledore, a small smile on his lips. "In fact, he's a rather good person, James Potter, once he sets his mind to something other than winning the attention of his fellow students."

Professor McGonagall nodded, and the Headmaster and deputy Headmistress sat together in silence, staring at the door through which James had departed.

(Feet First, Don't Fall)

Lily stood under Clark's umbrella, having left hers at home by mistake. Making a mental note to write her mum to send it, she stood and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. Care of Magical Creatures had just ended and they were a bit dirty from digging for flobberworms to feed the Nogtails they were raising, but the witch didn't mind.

"I have Herbology next," she informed the Ravenclaw.

"I'm off to Transfiguration," he said, frowning. Transfiguration was one of the only N.E.W.T. level classes with enough students to warrant splitting it into two sections. Lily would go the next hour.

With another kiss, Clark left with the umbrella and Lily was ready to make a dash for the greenhouses when the rain suddenly stopped.

She looked up to see another umbrella had replaced the old one. Unfortunately, James Potter was the person holding it there.

"I'm going to Herbology, too," he said. "Don't be a prig. It's big enough under here for two."

He was right. It would be silly to complain and insist on walking through the rain. They started off across the grounds, accompanied by Peter, who had his own umbrella.

"Read the paper this morning, Evans?" James asked.

"Yes, please don't get me started on that again."

James raised an eyebrow.

"Mary doesn't think it's a bad idea," Lily explained. "And I do. We argued about it at breakfast and I really don't want to argue about it with you, too."

" _I_ was just going to tell you that Dumbledore says students aren't required to do it until you come of age and take your N.E.W.T.s, Merlin, don't curse the messenger."

But Lily brightened at his words. "I should've known Dumbledore would do something about all this." They walked in silence for a moment. Then, because she was curious and because his father had been a part of the decision, Lily asked, "Do you think people are actually going to go through with the registration?"

James shrugged. "Theoretically, they have to. I don't know how they're going to enforce it though."

"They have the lists of everyone who's gone through Hogwarts in the last sixty years," said Peter. "It said so later in that article. That shows who's a Muggle-born and who isn't. They'll know if someone doesn't show up to register."

"Then why don't they just use those lists to compile the registry?" said Lily.

"The lists aren't as complete as the Ministry would like us to think," said James. "I'm sure Dumbledore has something to do with that. But they also want to know who is living in England and who has moved to other countries, which the lists _don't_ specify. They expect you to give your address."

"But that puts our families in danger, too," Lily said indignantly. James and Peter shrugged in unison, as if to say they already agreed with her and there was no use telling them this.

"At least you don't have to do it for almost two years," said Peter. "Maybe all this will be over by then."

Thankfully, the greenhouse door was open when the three Gryffindors arrived, happy to be out of the rain. The table of Hufflepuffs Lily had sat at during the previous class was full this time, so Lily sat with the two Marauders, though she made sure Peter was in the middle. He looked slightly uncomfortable. The only other table was occupied by Severus Snape, and Lily would much rather make Peter uncomfortable than sit with Sev.

She had not yet decided what to do about the Slytherin. The Sorting Hat encouraged house unity, and Dumbledore had done the same. It might be in her best interest to forgive Severus and try to be friends again, but it might also end up being a source of stress and tension in her life. Towards the end, she and Sev had fought often about his other friends, and Lily really didn't have the energy to fight that battle again.

Of course, Professor Sprout knew little of inter-student relationships, and as soon as she walked in she said, "Mr. Snape, if you would please join Evans, Potter, and Pettigrew over there. We will be working in groups today."

Lily froze, and so did James. Peter put his head down on the table and groaned.

"I'd really rather work alone," said Severus.

"This work is only to be done in groups."

Severus came over warily, sitting as far from the other three as possible. Lily did not meet his eye.

Professor Sprout went about explaining the lesson, but Lily was so focused on Severus's presence that she barely heard half of what the teacher was saying. It was as if every inch of her body could tell that Sev was right there. Goosebumps erupted over her arms and legs. Her chest tightened and her heart beat faster. She thought she might start hyperventilating.

In the past, Lily suspected she might be in love with Severus Snape. Ultimately, her conclusion was no, she was not. But a part of her heart belonged to him back when they were friends, and that part seemed to be trying to jump out of her chest and return to him now. He was her first magical mate—before there was a Marlene or an Alice or anyone else, Sev was there. He was the one who was there when Petunia _stopped_ being there. He was the one who alleviated all her doubts and assured her that no, being a Muggle-born didn't make a difference at all.

What a sick joke it all seemed now.

When Professor Sprout finished, Peter was the only one at the table to move.

"I'll go get the hellebore, then," he said. They did not respond. James seemed to be watching Severus, who was watching Lily, who was trying very hard not to look at either of them.

"Lily..." Severus began in a low voice. "Lily, please look at me..."

She couldn't help it. Her eyes snapped to his face and it felt like a knife was twisting in her stomach. Lacing her fingers together to keep her hands from shaking, Lily said, "Whatever conversation we need to have, this is not the time, nor place. And I am simply not ready to have it. So please, Sev, just _don't_."

"Seems like you were quick to forgive Potter," he said, black eyes darting to the Quidditch Captain. "I saw you two walking here together."

Lily wanted to slam her head onto the table, but that would leave Potter and Sev alone, and they would probably kill each other. She briefly pondered the merits of this plan before speaking in a low voice, "First, no, I _haven't_ forgiven him. Second, I haven't forgiven _you_ either. Third, you don't get to tell me anything about who I should and shouldn't be friends with, as you demonstrated that you know nothing of what friendship even is. Yes, Potter is an arrogant bully, but what does that make you? You called me Mudblood in front of the entire school and now expect me to care about what you think?"

It wasn't entirely true. Lily thought there would always be a part of her that cared about Sev's opinion, but she couldn't let him know that.

Peter returned then, setting a large potted plant on the table. It had thick leaves and large flowers in yellow, pink, and purple. "I got gloves for everyone, too," he said, passing them around. "Sprout says they're kind of dangerous."

"What are we doing, again?" Lily asked, not that she had listened the first time.

"Collecting the pollen and the pus for potions ingredients."

Lily glanced at James, who was being uncharacteristically quiet. He was watching Severus out of the corner of his eye and it looked like he had one hand in the pocket of his robes, ready to draw his wand if necessary. She wanted to tell them both to be civil with each other, but knew from experience it would do no good.

"Here's a vial for the pus," said Peter, holding it out to Lily. "If you'll hold it there, I'll go first."

He had what looked like a pair of Muggle pliers in his other hand, and when Lily took the vial from him, he proceeded to clamp them around the thick pistil of one of the flowers and squeeze. Immediately, the plant sprung to life. The sharp leaves started spinning violently on their stems and other flowers began shooting puss in every direction.

"ARGH!" Peter yelled, jumping back in surprise.

Lily, who had been sitting, leapt to her feet and backed away quickly. She cast a Shield Charm between herself and Peter and the hellebore plant.

"Remember not to let the pus touch you!" Professor Sprout called across the room. "It's poisonous!"

"Too late," muttered James. He had thrown his ungloved hands up to protect his face, and they were now dripping with green goo. Severus was in a similar predicament.

The plant calmed down after a moment and Lily lowered her wand.

"Oh well," said Professor Sprout, looking from James to Severus. "It's nothing too serious. Miss Evans, if you'll look in that cabinet behind you there—no, to the left, yes—there should be a green bottle and some bandages. You need to vanish the pus—we can't use it after it's reacted with skin—and then apply some of the ointment and wrap their hands."

Lily did as the professor instructed, vanishing all the pus and then moving to sit next to Severus. Being careful not to touch the affected area, Lily smoothed some of the pink ointment onto his rapidly swelling hands and began carefully wrapping them. She focused intently on her work so as not to have to look at him.

"Lily, please," he said, speaking softly, as always. " _Please_. You avoided me all summer. Please hear me out. I _need_ you to forgive me."

She could see it, like a Muggle film behind her eyes. She chose not to forgive Severus, so instead he would turn to his other friends, Mulciber and Avery, for companionship. He would allow them to influence him, to change him, to poison him with their prejudices, and soon, Severus would become a Death Eater. He would work for Lord Voldemort against her kind and likely end up being killed or thrown into prison someday. And it would all be because she made the selfish choice.

But could she save him? Was her friendship enough to keep him from going down that dark path?

"I need more time, Sev. But maybe... just... just give me more time."

 _Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope_ , thought Lily. Fitzgerald wrote that, and she was realizing how true it was. Maybe, if she could give Sev something to hope for, even if she wasn't ready to be friends with him again, he would stay on a better road. At least for the time being.

Sev's face brightened considerably. (She did not see the way James's darkened). She finished his hands and gave him the smallest of smiles before moving on to James. He looked pointedly away from her when she took the seat next to him and uncorked the ointment. His hands had grown to at least twice their normal size in the time it took her to take care of Severus. A pity, thought Lily absently. James Potter had unusually nice hands.

"Getting back together with Snivellus, are you?" he asked. He was watching Peter prod the hellebore.

"Why do you care?"

His eyes snapped to hers. There was a fire in them that was harsher than James Potter's usual mischievous gleam. "Because someone in this school is targeting Muggle-borns, in case you haven't noticed that we still have to look at your face every time we leave the Great Hall. People in the _Ministry_ are targeting Muggle-borns. Snape is on _their_ side, Evans. Hell, he might be behind the propaganda here. Don't tell me you failed to notice that he wasn't featured on any of the Half-blood flyers."

He was speaking low enough that Sev, sitting across the table, could not hear, and for that at least, Lily was thankful. She matched his whisper.

"He's too smart for that. If he had been behind them, he would have put himself on them to avoid incrimination. And he's _not_ on their side. Not yet."

Realization dawned on James's face.

"You think you can save him, don't you?"

Lily bit her lip and looked away. There was no denying it.

James scoffed. "Don't be thick, Evans."

"I'm being _hopeful._ "

"That's the same as being thick."

"Bugger off, Potter." She finished bandaging his hands quickly and went to where Peter was still trying to extract the puss. He had pulled his robes up around his face and was standing as far from the hellebore as he could while still being able to reach it.

"I just don't get it," he said when Lily joined him. It was a bit muffled by the fabric. "The Hufflepuffs aren't having nearly this much trouble."

Lily looked over and saw, indeed, that the Hufflepuffs' plant seemed quite docile. "It looks like they're...petting it," Lily noted after a moment's observation. One person extracted the puss while the rest stroked the other flowers.

"James, Snape, get over here," Peter ordered, and to Lily's surprise, both boys listened. "You lot have to pet the flowers while I get the puss from this one here."

"What? That's ridiculous."

"Look at the Hufflepuffs," said Lily. The two boys did so and saw that she and Peter were right.

"Fine," said James.

"Let's just get this over with," said Severus.

But of course, it couldn't be that easy. James shot puss from one of the flowers into Severus's hair, which started rapidly falling out. Then Severus hit James with a _levicorpus_ , causing him to be yanked into the air, pulling a flower off the hellebore in the process and angering the plant, which started hurling razor leaves at all four of them.

They all ended up in the hospital wing and missed Transfiguration. McGonagall was not pleased when Lily went to speak with the Professor after class, and they each lost five points, on top of the ten total Professor Sprout had deducted from Gryffindor for harming her plant.

Lily returned to her dorm before dinner feeling rather defeated and found a letter sitting on her pillow. She recognized the handwriting when she picked it up and grew nervous. It had obviously been sent through the Muggle post, as it was stamped. The wizards working inside the post office took care of such things. Lily opened the envelope and unfolded the flowered stationary carefully.

 _Lily,_

 _I told Vernon about you today. God I am_ never _forgiving you for putting me through that conversation. I was certain he was going to break off our engagement. Of course, I said about a hundred times that I am nothing like you, and I think he's enamored enough with me as it is. Anyway, the wedding is still on._

 _But Vernon doesn't want anything to do you with you. He doesn't want to speak with you or see you again. He doesn't want me to speak with you either, except when absolutely necessary. And, well, he's my fiancé. I have to pick him, don't I?_

 _This doesn't mean we'll never speak again. I'm sure there will be Christmases with Mum and Dad. But Vernon will need time to adjust to the idea. He's under the impression that you'll turn him into a toad if he sees you again. And I know that you're considering it now, Lily, but don't._

 _I don't think we'll be speaking for a while now. Sorry._

 _Petunia_

Lily's hands were shaking by the end of the letter, mostly in anger at the injustice of it all. What kind of sister would do that to another? Suddenly, the witch was no longer in the mood for dinner. She sat on her bed reading the same line over and over.

 _I have to pick him, don't I?_

If people really loved you, they wouldn't make you choose at all, Lily thought. _She_ had put up with _Vernon_ —his dull talk of drills (his family owned a company that sold them), his lukewarm political commentary, and his ridiculous opinion that football should be banned in England ("Bad for the country's collective blood pressure," he had said. _Who_ thinks that way?) But Lily had listened and tried very hard not to point out everything she thought was wrong. She tried to be civil with Vernon because he was good to Petunia, and Petunia loved him, and Lily loved Petunia.

Eventually, the witch stood, went to the record player in the corner and put on The Smoking Wands' new album. The notes drifted softly through the room as Lily changed into her oversized Falmouth Falcons t-shirt and went to sit on her bed again, drawing her journal out from the drawer in her nightstand. She read the letter a final time before storing it in a box she kept beneath her bed, full of all the letters she had been sent over the years.

She listened the to first three songs on the album, tapping her quill idly on a blank page in her journal, before realizing that there was only one thing to be said about Wednesday, September the Eighth.

—

When Marlene entered the dormitory that night, it was to the sound of a record player crackling softly in the corner, the record itself having long since ended. Lily's soft breathing could be heard from behind the curtains of her bed, so the blonde witch switched off the player, slid the record back into its sleeve, and went to the lavatory to prepare for bed.

* * *

 **A/N:** This is a fast update for me. Wow. Anyway, one thing: the Muggle-born registration here is _not_ like the Muggle-born Registration Commission of _Deathly Hallows._ This is fairly neutral, while the one from the books claims that Muggle-borns must have stolen magic from witches and wizards in order to have it, and therefore Muggle-borns are guilty of a crime. The one here is merely to count the number of Muggle-borns and where they are.

I want to introduce other points of view slowly, so the story isn't too bogged down with switching between tons of characters, so let me know what you think of Marlene.

This chapter is almost 11,000 words long. It's 29 pages in Word (12 point, single-spaced). _I_ personally find it to be a good length, though I'm curious to know what you all think.

Halsey's Badlands album was on repeat for the writing of this chapter. I highly recommend it.

 **Update, Dec. 2015: Changed "Phillius Potter" to "Fleamont Potter" in accordance with the new James Potter info.**

Reviews make the sun shine brighter.

Gwen


	3. A Day In September

**A/N:** Big thanks and shout out to Supergoddad, Anon, Triptic Writer, Calypso, LothlorienImladris, vikakorobiy, BlueJeanMistress, Allyzzz, lunalibera, and Colie88 for reviewing! And thank you to everyone who favorited and alerted! You guys are the bomb.

 **Previously:** Blanche Faraday is the last sixth year Gryffindor, but she did not start school on September 1st because her family was in an attack in Diagon Alley and her little brother, Eli, was killed. Lily is dating a bloke named Clark Broadmoor, who is a Beater and the Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team. Marlene's sister, Aurora Penn, is the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and the two don't really get along, though Marlene asked if they could have lunch together. Posters and flyers have been appearing around the school, threatening Muggle-borns and blood traitors. Lily and Clark won a bottle of Felix Felicis in Potions. The Ministry wants to register all Muggle-born witches and wizards, but Dumbledore will not allow them to register Hogwarts students. James, Lily, Severus, and Peter are forced to work together in Herbology and disaster ensues. Lily tells Severus that maybe there is still hope for them, but she needs more time to think about it. Petunia tells Vernon about Lily and Vernon wants nothing more to do with Lily.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: A Day In September**

There are days that define lifetimes. Days that are turns in the road; days that start us on a new path entirely. Often, one's important days coincide with important days in the lives of those close to them, though usually in different ways. Most lives have many such days, but most people do not see them for what they are until years have passed and the choices made on those days come to fruition. Most people forget these days, passing them off as just another in a long string of incidents that compose a life.

Usually, the true significance of such moments cannot be seen without the help of hindsight, and we go on living through them unknowing the ways in which our lives are changed, and unable to predict the end we have set in motion.

One Saturday in September of 1976 did not seem like anything special on the surface. Homework was completed, meals were eaten, parties were attended (and skipped), and though they did not know it at the time (and though they might never be able to trace it back to this specific day), things were set in motion on that Saturday in September of 1976 for the inhabitants of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Severus Snape made a choice. Gracie Corey made one too. Sirius Black thought about the future and Marlene Penn forgot the past. On a Saturday in September of 1976, Edgar Bones did what was expected of him, James Potter did _not_. And Lily Evans began (rather slowly) to come to a very important realization.

(Change of Plans)

"I'm giving up," Marlene announced on Saturday afternoon. "I'm dropping out of school and becoming a prostitute."

Lily looked up from _Advanced Transfiguration and Its Practical Applications_ to see the blonde witch throw her quill down dramatically on the parchment on which she was supposed to be composing an essay.

"Good money in that," Lily said, putting down her own quill and stretching her arms and neck, which were stiff from the past hour of deciphering the miniscule text in her book.

Lily, Marlene, and Alice sat in the armchairs in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, working on the mountain of homework assigned to the sixth year students.

Alice rubbed her eyes. "I'll join you. We could start a brothel."

"Before we start down a slippery slope, let's have another cup of tea, shall we?" asked Lily. She rolled up the sleeves of her large Gryffindor sweater and took the pot off the fire to refill the mugs her friends held out to her. "No one wants a decaffeinated prostitute."

"It just baffles me," said Alice, taking a sip of her tea and pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged in her chair. "How much _theory_ is behind everything. I learn to transform a glass of water into an umbrella in class, and I can _do_ it, but then I have to write an essay on how it works and the history of the transformation? Who cares as long as I can perform the spell?"

"Right?" said Marlene. "I'd rather spend my time practicing these spells than writing about them. And I've got this extra essay for Slughorn since Sirius and I completely butchered our Draught of Living Death the other day. I loathe Potions enough as it is."

"I have extra work too," Lily grumbled, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "Stupid essay on hellebore for Sprout."

"Hellebore? That's fairly simple, isn't it?"

"Maybe when you're not working with Severus Snape and James Potter."

"Good god, I'm glad I'm not in Herbology."

"Mm. Needless to say, it was a disaster. We have to write about what went wrong."

"With the plant or the people?" asked Marlene wryly.

"I'm considering an essay entitled: 'Professor Sprout's Mistake' and discussing why no teacher in their right mind would let Severus work with Potter in any situation."

"But Lily, what about house unity?" Alice said, rolling her eyes at the idea.

"We have to walk before we can run," Lily said sagely. Marlene laughed as the redheaded witch continued, "Potter and Severus being civil would be an all out sprint."

The portrait hole opened then to admit Mary and Gracie. The latter clutched a piece of parchment in one hand. The two of them stopped when they reached the three girls by the fire.

"Blanche is coming back in October," said Gracie, waving the parchment. She perched on the arm of Alice's chair.

"That's good, right?" asked Marlene.

"I _think_ so," said Gracie. "As long as it's what she wants. I'm worried she just feels obligated to come back."

"Being here might be good for her," said Lily. "Home is likely rather...depressing right now. Maybe the distraction of schoolwork will help."

"And all her friends are here," Alice said. "And Edgar. That'll be good for her."

"That's what I said," Mary agreed. "But I've got to go. I told Skyla Tofty we could work on our Arithmancy assignment together."

"Can I come?" asked Alice. "I'm completely lost on Griselda's Law."

"Sure. We're meeting in the library in ten minutes."

"Thank Merlin I didn't take Arithmancy," said Marlene as Alice gathered up her things. Lily nodded in agreement.

"I should go too," said Gracie. "Blanche asked me to tell Edgar for her."

The three witches departed and Lily and Marlene were left alone.

"Did Alice take all of her things?"

"Yes, Mar. Unfortunately this veritable mountain of books belongs solely to you and me."

(Giving Up, Part Two)

"I'm giving up," said James Potter. "Padfoot, I want you to kill me."

Instead, Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "But if I kill you, then _I_ would have to hold tryouts. And we both know that that isn't going to happen."

"But we need _two_ people this year. This is going to be the death of me anyway. You might as well go ahead and off me now, since you'll be holding them in my place eventually."

"A valiant effort, Prongs, but if you really want to die, you'll have to jump off the Astronomy tower or something equally dramatic. I do _not_ want to go to Azkaban because of you."

"I really have to do this, don't I?"

"We could always wait and see how the first match goes with two Chasers and one Beater. You an I are good enough we could probably pull it off."

"Do you think McGonagall would let us?"

"Definitely not. We're grasping at straws here, mate."

James sighed defeatedly. "Okay...I'm just going to do it..."

The Quidditch Captain squared his shoulders and walked up to the notice board in the Gryffindor Common Room, where he hung a piece of parchment barely larger than a tea bag. In miniscule letters, he had written,

 _Quidditch Tryouts_

 _October 8_ _th_ _6pm_

 _One Chaser Position. One Beater Position._

 _2_ _nd_ _-7_ _th_ _Years Only_

 _No Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, or Slytherins may try out._

 _If they attempt to do so, they will face the wrath of James Potter._

"You think anyone will even see that? It's tiny."

"Hopefully not. Maybe we'll have two people show up and they'll be perfect for the team."

"Wishful thinking, Prongs. Don't get your hopes up. The wrath bit was a nice touch though."

James ran a hand through his hair and crossed his arms. "I thought so. At least it might keep the Hufflepuffs away, if nothing else." He paused, his hand going through his hair again as he looked around the common room. "Come on, Marlene's by the fire. We should make sure she knows she has to be there."

Sirius nodded and they made their way to where Marlene and Lily were sitting.

James sat in an armchair across from them and placed his elbows on his knees, leaning toward the blonde witch.

"Evans, Penn."

"Potter," Lily acknowledged. "What are you doing?"

"He's about to give Marlene thoughts of suicide."

"Shut up, Padfoot. I was _going_ to try to make her think this is a good thing."

"But that would be deceptive."

"Oh yes and I'm _never_ deceptive."

"Was that sarcasm, Prongs? I don't think you made it very clear."

"Potter, Black," Marlene cut them off. "What are you on about?"

James glanced at Sirius, who was watching James with pity in his eyes.

"Quidditch tryouts," they said together. Marlene's face went pale.

"I want the whole team to be there," James said. "It'll be...team building. Or something."

"B-but we need _two_ players this year."

"We thought about trying to play with just the five of us," said Sirius.

"But decided McGonagall wouldn't allow it," James finished.

Lily was looking from Marlene to James to Sirius with a confused expression on her face. "Wait. Would someone tell me why you three look like you're about to take a journey through all the levels of hell?"

"If there were a tenth circle of hell, Evans, Quidditch tryouts would be it."

"But _why_?"

"All the second years show up," said James.

"From _every_ house," Sirius added.

"And most of the first years try to pass themselves off as second years," said Marlene.

"And it takes _hours_ to watch all of them, even though you know from the start they're going to be terrible."

"And then you have to go through all the random people that want to be on the team but have never actually played before. The only experience most of them have is first year flying lessons."

"And by the time you get around to anyone halfway decent (have we mentioned this is _hours_ later), you're too fed up with all of it to even care."

"So then you just pick someone at random and most likely make a huge mistake."

"And Gryffindor loses and we all die."

Lily laughed. "Okay, okay. I get it. But why don't you just kick out all the first years and non-Gryffindors before you start?"

"They're tricky, Evans. It's difficult to tell the difference. _Especially_ when I don't really know anyone below third year." James frowned, scratching the back of his neck and not meeting her eyes. Lily likely knew all the underclassmen.

"Whose fault is that?" she asked. "Why don't you just ask them all the password to the Common Room? That would at least sort out the people from other houses."

Silence met her statement as the three Quidditch players processed what she'd said.

James stared at her for a moment. Lily had said it so matter-of-factly.

It was so obvious.

Why had he never thought of it?

"Evans," James said, a grin spreading across his face. "I could kiss you right now."

"Don't, please," she said, though she looked amused as she returned to the textbook in her lap.

Sirius and Marlene were both looking at Lily in amazement, too, and James was glad he was not the only one.

"Lily," said Marlene after a long moment. " _Why_ have I never thought of that?"

"Where have you been all these years?" said Sirius. "I've watched so many damn Hufflepuffs fly around that pitch for no bloody reason."

"Katrina Jenks almost put a Hufflepuff on the team a few years back," James added, shaking his head.

Lily laughed again, and James felt his stomach lurch. Of course she would come up with something simultaneously brilliant and obvious. Of course she was too clever for him.

"You're all just too close to it," Lily said, patting Marlene's hand. "You've been doing it for so long you don't really think about it being any other way."

They all sat in silence for a moment before Remus and Peter joined them with stacks of books.

"I imagine Lily and Marlene are doing homework," said Remus, sitting down in the empty chair next to Lily and spreading his things out on the little space she had left on the coffee table in front of them. "But what are you two doing?"

"Being exposed as completely idiots," James told him, running a hand through his hair. "Evans just solved part of the problem of Quidditch tryouts."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I won't comment on the fact that it's difficult to expose someone as an idiot when everyone is already aware of that fact," he teased, shaking his head. "What exactly did you suggest, Lily?"

She told him and Remus's smiled widened. "On one hand, I'm surprised no one had thought of that yet. On the other hand, I'm surprised you told him. It'll ease his suffering a great deal."

James threw one of Lily's books a Remus, who ducked it easily.

"I did it for Marlene," said Lily.

"This is why I keep her around," said Marlene. "She's my lucky ginger."

"Not so lucky in Herbology," said Peter, who was flipping through _Magical Plants and Their Obscure Uses_. "Otherwise we wouldn't have to do this extra essay."

It was Lily's turn to throw a book at Peter. "I blame Potter and Severus for that."

" _I_ blame Sprout," said James. "Teachers really should know by now that I can't help myself."

Marlene stood and stretched. "Why don't we all blame Sprout and not burn down the common room, yeah?"

"Where are you going?" asked Lily.

"I told Rory I would have lunch with her."

"Can I come?"

"No, Black."

"Damn."

Lily was looking at Marlene with a mix between surprise and concern. James didn't know much about Marlene's relationship with her sister, but he had gathered that the two of them weren't on excellent terms.

"Don't worry, Lily," Marlene told her friend. "It'll be...good for us."

"Try to be civil, dear."

"Yes, mum."

The blonde witch departed and James watched as Lily, Remus, and Peter all turned to their homework. He should get a move on with his own work, but for the moment, he was content to watch Lily hunch over her Transfiguration book.

Sirius gave him a look and moved his eyebrows up and down. James rolled his eyes. If Sirius had been a worse friend, he would have made a comment, but fortunately for James, Sirius had a surprising amount of tact.

A little over an hour later, long after James and Sirius had succumbed to the peer pressure of their dull mates and started their own homework, Lily shut her Transfiguration book and rubbed her eyes.

"You two going to Slug Club tonight?" she asked James and Sirius, though she probably knew the answer already.

"Of course not," James told her. "We never go."

"I know, but some Quidditch person is going to be there. Clark's all excited about it. I thought you might go for that."

James shook his head. "Nothing against Minnow, but I prefer to have people like me because I'm a good player, not because I kiss their arses."

"Minnow?" asked Lily.

"You don't want to know," Peter told her.

Lily shrugged. "I hate to break it to you, Mr. Idealistic, but sometimes you _have_ to kiss people's arses if you want to get where you're going. It's the way of the world, unfortunately."

She was right, but James wasn't ready to admit that. He was good enough to be noticed without any extra help. He had to be.

"Anyway," she continued. "I should go get ready." She waved her wand and her books and parchment stacked themselves in a neat pile on the table. They waved goodbye and soon she had disappeared up the stairs that led to the dormitories.

(Civilized)

Marlene stood outside the door to her sister's office, her hand poised to knock. She had been inside this room many times—when Professor Beezley called her in their in first year to scold her for setting Remus Lupin's robes on fire (accidentally), when Madam Minks had asked her to bring a tonic to the aging Professor Milano in third year, many times in fourth year when she had made excuses to visit the handsome Professor Hendrix—but she had not been inside this year, though now she should have had more cause than ever.

After a moment's hesitation, Marlene knocked and Aurora opened the door.

"Hey Marly."

"Don't call me Marly."

"I'll stop when you stop calling me Rory."

They glared at each other for a moment in the doorway, before both sisters turned away and muttered, "Sorry."

"We're not very good at this, are we?" said Aurora.

"You should see Lily with her sister. Compared to them, we're practically best friends."

Marlene followed Aurora into the office. It was comfortable, though somewhat bare. Food was set up on a small table next to a window that overlooked the lake.

"This looks good," said Marlene, sitting and pouring pumpkin juice for them both.

Aurora nodded. "Apparently teachers can go to the kitchens whenever they please. The house elves there just give you whatever you want."

Marlene laughed. "Rory, _students_ can go to the kitchens whenever they please, if they know how to get there. Don't tell me, in seven years here, you _never_ nicked food from the kitchens."

Aurora shook her head, serving herself salad. "I'd always heard about people doing it, but I thought it was just a rumor."

"What about that time you caught Lily, Alice, and I coming back from the kitchens after curfew?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought you'd saved food from dinner and had taken it outside?"

"Or the time Jared and I got you that cake on your birthday?"

"I thought Mum sent it."

"The parties after Quidditch matches?"

"Er...I never really thought about it, I guess. Maybe I thought McGonagall provided it?"

Marlene laughed and shook her head. "This is why you were Head Girl and I'll be lucky if I pass enough classes to leave this place next year."

"That's not true, Marly. You're smart. I've seen you in Defense. You just have to get your head out of the clouds and focus on your classes."

"It's hard."

"I know."

"You do?"

Aurora nodded. "Of course I do. Remember my fifth year when I dated Caradoc Dearborn? Well he graduated and we broke up and my sixth year was much better, as far as my classes go. I realized I devoted all my free time to him and didn't bother with my classes as much. You have to find balance."

"But I _do_ devote time to my classes. I'm just not as naturally smart as you are. Things don't stick for me like they do for you."

"I could...I could try to tutor you some, if you'd like."

Marlene blinked in surprise. She was used to Aurora judging her for her mistakes, not trying to help her.

"Yeah...Yeah that would be...nice."

It was, at least, a start.

(Spark)

Lily held Clark's hand as they walked from Gryffindor Tower, where he had come to collect her, down to the dungeons to Slughorn's magically enlarged office. The evening air buzzed with the promise of a good time, and Lily swung their hands back and forth between them.

Pink and orange paper lanterns floated serenely through the air and the windows were open, emitting a cool early autumn breeze. Presently, there was soft music coming from the turntable in the corner, but there would likely be a live performance by one of Slughorn's friends later in the night.

"Lily and Clark," greeted the Potions master warmly, putting an arm around each of them and ushering them further into the room. "I have people I would like you to meet."

First, there was Harriet Sharpe, the harsh looking Captain of the Falmouth Falcons and the team's manager, a small, balding man with a large nose and dress robes that looked like they cost more than Lily's house.

Clark immediately hit it off with the odd pair, and Lily found herself looking around for someone to have a conversation with that did not involve sports of any variety. She excused herself and went to the refreshment table, keeping an eye out for Frank, Alice, or Marlene, who would all arrive eventually. The redhead took a goblet and filled it with a bubbling purple punch, and a chocolate biscuit to munch on as she leaned against the table and contently watched the crowd.

"Watch out with that punch. Whoever spiked it did so with a heavy hand."

Lily looked to see a witch in her late twenties standing beside her. She had a lot of lovely brown hair that hung in shiny waves down her back (Lily made a mental note to ask what products she used, if she had the chance). Her brown eyes were lined with dark liner and her face was narrow and pointed. She was thin and a bit taller than Lily and wore dark red dress robes. Her eyes were bored as she looked around the room.

"Thanks," said Lily, taking a sip of the punch in question and noting that it did have a strong lingering alcoholic taste. "I'm Lily."

"Emmeline."

"Did you come over here just to warn me about the punch, or are you avoiding the Quidditch conversations too?"

Emmeline smiled. Her teeth were large and white. "I knew I sensed an ally in you. It's like one Quidditch player shows up and it's all anyone wants to talk about."

Lily nodded to Clark. "My boyfriend plays for Ravenclaw. He nearly fainted when Slughorn told him Harriet Sharpe would be here. I thought I would have to spend all night talking to her."

"Mean looking, isn't she?"

"She _is_. And she didn't want to talk to _me_ at all. Not that I'm really complaining. But she completely ignored me when she was introduced to Clark."

"Probably afraid to speak to anyone who actually has a brain in their head. No offense to your boyfriend."

Lily laughed. "We came here to avoid talking about Quidditch and Harriet Sharpe. And yet..."

"And yet here we are anyway," Emmeline finished, laughing too.

"Emmeline! I've been looking all over for you. Should've known you'd be by the food."

An older man joined them then. Lily thought he might even be as old as Professor Dumbledore. He was short and very thin, with a bushy white beard and a bald head, on which he wore a very tall, very tattered, green hat. His voice was high and a bit scratchy. Lily liked him immediately.

"Elphias," Emmeline greeted with a smile. "Slughorn said you might come by."

"Only for you, my dear. And who is this?"

"Lily. Lily, this is Elphias Doge. He went to school with Dumbledore."

"Nice to meet you," Lily said, shaking his outstretched hand.

"You're the girl from that poster in the Entrance Hall!" he said delightedly. "A bit of an odd touch, I said to Albus, but to each his own. Now, Emmeline, where's that blasted boyfriend of yours?"

" _Fiancé_ , Elphias, dear. Westley and I have been engaged for _months_. And he's not here tonight. He went to speak with Molly and Arthur to see if they want to get involved."

"I'm sure they will," said Elphias. Lily looked back and forth between them, confused, as the old man continued. "But I'd hoped to see Wes tonight. Albus wanted me to tell him to speak to Amelia Bones."

"Well I can tell him that," Emmeline said, rolling her eyes and smiling at Elphias. "I _am_ capable of coherent speech."

"I've just realized we're being terribly rude, Emmeline. Lily here has no idea what we're talking about."

"Oh," said Lily, holding up the hand that wasn't grasping her goblet. "It's fine, really. I don't mean to intrude."

Emmeline gave her a long, searching look. She seemed to be going over something in her mind before she finally said, "Lily, do you mind me asking your opinion on this war against Muggle-borns?"

Lily was a bit surprised. It had been a while since she'd met anyone that didn't already know her blood status.

"Well, I'm a Muggle-born," she told them honestly. "And I think Voldemort should be stopped."

"Great," said Emmeline, grinning. "Then I'll tell you that Elphias and I, along with Dumbledore and a few others, are starting a group for people who oppose Voldemort and the Death Eaters. We're calling it the Magical Equality Coalition."

"Nothing's official, yet," Elphias said. "But we want it to be a peaceful organization—no violence. Just peaceful protesting and pro-Muggle-born propaganda."

"Maybe you could come to a meeting sometime," said Emmeline. "If you want to, I mean. I know a lot of people don't want to get involved..."

"No," said Lily. "I would like to. I really would. I've been trying to find _something_ I could do."

"Excellent. I'll owl you once we get our feet off the ground then. It shouldn't be much longer now. We have to get some paperwork completed to be recognized by the Ministry, but then it'll be all about recruiting. Do you think your boyfriend would be interested?"

Lily looked to where Clark stood, still speaking to the Quidditch player. "Maybe. I'll talk to him about it. He's not really the type to get involved."

When the three parted ways a bit later, Lily was in high spirits. She had been wondering for some time if such a group existed, and she was pleased to have stumbled upon it so easily.

Her happiness was short-lived, however. She was pouring herself a second goblet when a rather unwelcome face appeared beside her.

(How It Goes with Gracie)

Gracie found Edgar Bones as he was walking down the marble staircase toward the dungeon, undoubtedly toward Slughorn's party.

"Edgar!" she called, hurrying down the stairs behind him.

He smiled when he turned and saw her. "Hey, Gracie. What's up?"

She held up Blanche's letter. "Blanche. She's coming back in October."

(A Bit On Gracie Corey)

Gracie Corey was a sixth year in Gryffindor House. She played Keeper on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team and was particularly gifted in Transfiguration. She was tall, with dark skin and dark, curly hair that stuck up all around her face.

In fourth year, she dated a Ravenclaw bloke named Ethan Hooper, and through him, she'd met Edgar Bones, as the two boys were housemates. At the time, Gracie had been completely besotted with Ethan, and had decided to introduce her best friend, Blanche Faraday, to Edgar, in the hope that the four of them could spend a lot of time together. Edgar and Blanche hit it off while Gracie's relationship with Ethan rapidly deteriorated. In the end, she became the third wheel to what appeared to be a rather perfect relationship.

Gracie and Edgar became fast friends, but when they did an internship together at the Ministry in the summer before sixth year, Gracie found herself feeling something more than friendship for Blanche's boyfriend. She's spent most of her time torn between avoiding him and spending as much time with him as she could. But then Blanche's brother was killed, and Gracie knew that her friend needed her now more than ever. There was no way she would betray her friend for a bloke. It simply wasn't in her. So she stuck to avoiding him completely, always making up excuses to get out of his presence.

(On the Staircase)

"Coming back is good," said Edgar hesitantly. His green eyes were stormy.

"It _is_ good," Gracie assured him, standing several feet away. "I've spent the majority of the day convincing myself of that fact. It'll be what's best for her, even though it doesn't really seem that way."

"I'm glad she has you."

Gracie blinked, his words reminding her of the last real conversation they had.

" _How the hell are we supposed to help her through this?" Edgar asked. It was after Eli's funeral and Gracie and Edgar sat together in the kitchen of the Faraday home. Blanche and her parents had retired to their bedrooms. It had been a long day._

 _Gracie passed Edgar the bottle of wine they shared. "I don't know, Ed. I really don't have any idea what we're supposed to do."_

" _It's good she has you, though. You're just comforting to be around. I'm afraid of making things worse, myself."_

" _Don't be silly." She wanted to reach across the table and hold his hand, but she didn't. "No one knows what to do when something like this happens. No one knows what's going to help or hurt or anything. All you can do is show up. That's enough. That's all there is."_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Yeah."_

Gracie felt her stomach jump to her throat. "And I'm glad she has you." She tried to mean it. She _did_ mean it. But everything was so confusing and stupid and complicated. And he didn't know. If she played her cards right, he would never even suspect the way she felt about him. Hopefully she would just get over him and it would all be done with.

He had to sense the awkwardness she felt though. He had to notice that she practically sprinted away every time he came near her. Maybe he thought she was just odd and awkward as a person. That would be good, she thought. Well, not good. But better than the truth.

"I'm on my way to Slughorn's," he said. "Wanna come?"

"Oh..er, no. Thank you. But no."

He looked at her strangely before shrugging and continuing his trek down the stairs. "See you in class, then."

"See you."

Once he was out of sight, Gracie sat down on the marble staircase. "Love sucks," she said aloud, to no one in particular.

(Choosing)

"Hey, Lily."

"Hullo, Sev."

"Have you thought about everything?" he asked softly. "Have you decided to forgive me?"

Lily sighed and took a drink from her goblet. "I've thought about it, Sev. And I _have_ forgiven you, but we can't be mates like we used to be."

Severus's face darkened. "Then you haven't actually forgiven me."

"But I _have_. We can't be mates because I would have to give you an ultimatum: me or Mulciber and Avery. And for one, I don't want to do that because you shouldn't do that to people that you care about. You shouldn't make them choose, but I would have to, Sev. I would _have_ to make you choose. And even if you chose me at the start, I know somewhere along the way you would go back to them, and I couldn't live with you choosing them over me."

"What makes you so sure I'd go back to them if I picked you?"

Lily smiled sadly. "Because I know you, Sev. I know you're easily tempted. I know there are parts of the Death Eaters' message that you agree with. Even if you don't want me dead, you don't care about other Muggle-borns. You would give into them because my friendship alone isn't enough. You need more people in your life and choosing me would mark you as a loner. You would lose the friends you have in your house and I don't want to do that to you."

Sev's eyes grew angry. "Don't make this my fault. It's _you_ who's making the choice."

"But it _is_ your fault, isn't it?" Her voice was low, barely more than a whisper. "It's your fault for choosing to believe that Muggle-borns are worth less than you when you know that it isn't true. It's your fault for telling me that being Muggle-born doesn't make any difference and then changing your mind. It's your fault, Sev. You can blame me if you like, but that doesn't make it true."

"Lily," he said, even softer now. He grabbed her wrists, keeping her from walking away, and his eyes lost their fire. He was pleading. "Lily I just want to be your friend again. Why can't we be friends while I'm also friends with Mulciber and Avery?"

"You know why, Sev. You know that they're going to be Death Eaters and I won't stand for that."

"But—"

"Look, we can't be mates again. But we can be civil. We can speak to each other. I don't want to hate you and I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you, Lily."

"I know." She sighed. "You're a good person, Sev, but you need to be careful. Being good isn't enough if you're mixed up with too many dangerous people."

(Meanwhile, The Important Things)

The Forbidden Forest buzzed with the faint hum of crickets and the clearing smelled of wildflowers, just as it had the first time they'd been here.

Four boys sat in the light of the half moon. The tallest lounged in the grass, drinking from his flask at regular intervals. Near him sat the one with dark hair and glasses, leaning again a tree, playing with an old snitch, and smoking a cigarette. The third, thin with a scar along his jaw, absentmindedly pulled at the grass, taking the flask when the first boy offered it. The fourth boy, the smallest, watched the other three, simply happy that there were all there together.

James was the only true advocate of this tradition, and the only real reason they kept it up was because he insisted. Here in the forest he found much better company than he would at the party taking place in the castle. Lily had been right earlier. Going to such things _was_ the way to get in with the right people, especially when it came to Quidditch, but he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't stoop to that level.

"You're thinking about what Lily said," Remus commented after a silence. The werewolf always had been able to read James like a book.

James shrugged and took a drag. "It doesn't matter," he exhaled, smoke drifting lazily through the clearing. "Who says I even want to play professional Quidditch?"

"You, mate. Twice a day."

"Shut up, Padfoot," said James, taking the flask Remus held out to him and slipping the snitch into his pocket. "I do not."

"At least once a week then."

"...Fair. But if I can't get in on talent alone, then I don't want to."

"What else would you do?" asked Peter.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "You're rubbish at everything but Quidditch."

"Thanks for the confidence, mate," said James, tossing the flask back to Sirius. He was quiet for a long moment, staring off into the trees as he finished his cigarette. It was several minutes before he said, "I was thinking about trying for the Auror department."

It was the first time James had said the words aloud, but they felt right, somehow, after months of thinking about it. Since he was young, he'd thought he would grow up and, like everyone expected, play Quidditch. But recently, he'd found that he wanted to do something that actually mattered to the rest of the world.

Peter spoke first. "You want to fight Voldemort?"

"Somebody's got to."

"That doesn't mean _you_ have to."

"Then who, Wormtail?"

Peter shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "I dunno, mate. It's just...it'll be dangerous."

"You've thought a lot about this, haven't you?" asked Remus.

James nodded, not knowing that the next year he would hardly believe he ever dreamt of anything else.

"Well, I'm in," said Sirius. He took out his own cigarette and lit it with his wand.

James looked at him for a moment. "What?"

Sirius shrugged. "Obvious, isn't it?"

"You want to join the Aurors, too?"

"Why not? It'll be fun."

"Sirius, applying for the Auror department is a huge commitment," said Remus. "It's not something you do just for fun."

"I know that, _mum_. I'd also like to do it to piss my family off. If they could disown me twice, they would for that."

Remus didn't respond to that and James too a swig from the flask.

"I think you should do it, then," said Peter. " _Both_ of you. You're some of the smartest people in our year and the Ministry could use people like that. Most of them seem out of their sodding minds these days, right?"

Sirius laughed. "Well they'd better be out of their sodding minds or they'd never take us in the first place."

"You're really serious about this then, Padfoot?"

Sirius stretched out on his back, smoking his cigarette and looking up into the scattered stars above them. "Yeah. Yeah, I suppose I am."

"Good."

(On Sirius Black)

Sirius Black was handsome, with James-Dean-Rebel-Without-A-Cause good looks. He put on the bad boy appearance, but his friends knew that underneath it all, he had a good heart.

That good heart, of course, is what ultimately caused him to be sorted into Gryffindor in his first year, and what led to his family disowning him the summer before his sixth. His good heart brought about his friendship with James Potter, whose family took Sirius in when the Blacks no longer wanted him.

To most people, Sirius was a lost cause, but those that knew him best saw that he was anything but. In fact, it was often Sirius that brought out the best in his friends. He forced them to be honest with each other and with themselves, and the Marauders were closer because of it.

Sirius had never had a plan for his life. He didn't think much beyond tomorrow, but when James said he wanted to be an Auror, if was as if puzzle pieces that never quite fit together suddenly fell into place. James was his family, and family should stick together. If they could stick together and knock some Death Eater heads at the same time, all the better.

(In the Dungeons)

Slug Club parties were certainly not Edgar's favorite thing. He would much rather be sitting peacefully in the Ravenclaw Common Room with the biography of the Hogwarts founders that currently dwelled on his nightstand. However, like most of the people standing around, drinking their strong drinks and pretending to enjoy each other's company, Edgar knew he needed to play the game.

(And A Bit On Edgar Bones)

He was tall, thin, and redheaded. He had full lips that were often pulled up into an easy smile, but eyes that revealed an overly analytical nature. He was top of the year, with the most O.W.L.s and the highest marks in nearly every subject. He was a prefect and a solid candidate for Head Boy the following year.

Edgar was a predictable sort of bloke, who always did exactly what was expected of him, and everyone always expected the best. People _expected_ him to be the top of the class. They expected him to have outstanding character and impeccable judgment. They expected him to do no wrong.

And so he did his best, and usually succeeded.

He had dated Blanche Faraday since Fourth Year, and she was a lovely girl—both kind and beautiful, exactly the type of girl people expected him to be with. And he was happy.

But he feared the strange stirring in his heart that occurred whenever he spoke to Gracie Corey. For _that_ was not expected at all. Gracie Corey played Quidditch and made average marks in school. She was not particularly politically-minded and she didn't care much for appearances. In theory, she was entirely wrong for him.

And yet.

And yet, Edgar wanted to travel. He wanted to be a healer and find work treating people that had no access to healthcare, whether they were magical or Muggle. He wanted to live somewhere off the grid in simplicity and peace. And none of those things were expected of him either.

For Edgar's father was the Minister for Magic, and everyone wanted Edgar to grow up to be the same.

And Edgar always did what was expected of him.

(Expectations)

Edgar was on his third goblet of punch when Slughorn ushered him away from Alice Shields and Frank Longbottom to meet a witch with brown eyes and a bored look on her face.

"Emmeline!" said Slughorn jubilantly. He, too, had consumed several goblets of the heavily spiked punch. "This is Edgar Bones. We were speaking about him earlier."

"Ah, yes," she said, smiling and holding out her hand. "A pleasure to meet you. I'm Emmeline Edwards."

"She's engaged to Westley Vance," Slughorn told Edgar, as if this meant something to him. "He works for your father."

"Oh. Of course," said Edgar. Slughorn used the words "works for your father" when speaking to him about anyone who worked at the Ministry.

"Department of International Magical Cooperation," Emmeline clarified. "But I don't see why you'd have ever met him."

"I haven't. Sorry."

"No need to apologize," said Emmeline, rolling her eyes. "It's not like it matters whether or not you've met him. Anyway, there was something I hoped I could speak with you about."

"You're not a reporter, are you?"

That earned a genuine laugh from Emmeline. "No, have no fear. But it is a matter I would like to discuss in private." She gave Slughorn a pointed look.

"Oh all right, all right," said Slughorn, looking disappointed. "Always so serious, Emmeline."

He walked away then and Emmeline turned back to Edgar. He was intrigued, but wary. People often tried to win favors from his father through him.

"Slughorn's a dear but he can't keep a secret for anything in the world," Emmeline said. "Not that this is a matter of great secrecy or anything, but you know, wouldn't want it to find the wrong ears."

"What exactly are you talking about?"

"A new organization: the Magical Equality Coalition. Dumbledore's in on it, and Elphias Doge, whom I believe you know. He's around here somewhere. Anyway, we're starting this group as a means of peaceful protest against pureblood supremacy and Voldemort's ideals. We were hoping to get a few Hogwarts students involved to spread the word once we get officially up and running. I hoped you would consider it. I thought you might have some influence here, what with your father..."

Edgar sighed. "I don't know. What Voldemort is doing is wrong, but my father doesn't want to take too firm of a stance on the matter in order to protect the Ministry."

Emmeline looked as though she had expected this response. "That's why we want to go about things peacefully. We don't want to stir up trouble for anyone."

"But you will, even if you don't mean to, and you know it's the truth. I want to help you. _Believe_ me, this sounds exactly like something I want to do. I want to help people. But I won't do anything that could jeopardize my father's career. I'm sorry."

"It's all right," said Emmeline, though she looked disappointed. "I understand. But keep it in mind, yeah? Maybe someday in the future these things will be more important than careers."

Edgar nodded. "If there's anything I can do without people knowing I'm helping you, then let me know. I really do want to help."

Emmeline reached out and squeezed his hand briefly. "I will, thank you, Edgar."

She disappeared into the crowd then and Edgar made his way to the edge of the room, keeping his head down so as not to have to speak with anyone. A part of him really loathed the fact that he couldn't make his own decisions without having to think of how they might affect his father. He only hoped that someday soon his father would take a stand against Voldemort openly and put an end to all the madness.

Because though Edgar always did what was expected of him, small parts of him still died when he went against himself.

(Seven Words)

James cursed the blasted four-sided die the Marauders kept with them wherever they went. When the boys in the forest decided they needed more food and firewhiskey, it had been antlers that the die showed after Peter rolled it, meaning James was the one who had to go back into the castle and fetch whatever he could carry.

He walked through the dungeons, not bothering with the cloak as there were people going to and from Slughorn's party, to which he was, after all, invited. He rounded a corner and was surprised to see Lily Evans sitting on the floor in the corridor, a goblet in one hand and an expression that suggested she might be upset, if she wanted to spare the energy for it.

Without preamble, he sat down beside her.

"Evans."

"Potter." She didn't seem all that surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Drew the short straw," he said. "Had to go to the kitchens."

"And you chose to stop here because...?"

"You looked unhappy and I was _going_ to offer you some comfort," he held up his flask, "but it appears you've already had your share of that, judging from your breath."

"Are you always this charming?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Well, just so you know, I am _not_ unhappy. Merely..."

"Tired? Complacent? A sad drunk?"

" _Bored_. And I am not drunk."

"You smell like my dad's liquor cabinet."

Lily laughed then, the sound echoing oddly around the empty corridor. "You know, Potter, Slughorn was telling me tonight how he knows the 'seven words to make a person fall in love.' I thought it was a load of rubbish, but you might be on to something there. 'You smell like my dad's liquor cabinet.' That has to be it."

"You're mad, Evans. And you _are_ drunk."

"That's another seven words, and they're almost as charming as the last."

" _Drunk._ "

"Tipsy. I will accept tipsy."

"Fine. _Tipsy_ then. I didn't know Slughorn let underage people drink at these things. Maybe I'll start going to them after all."

He stopped, waiting for Lily to comment, but she said nothing so he asked, "What exactly are you doing out here anyway? Besides being bored and tipsy?"

"Waiting for Clark," she said. "He's been speaking to Harriet Sharpe and her manager all night."

"I've heard she can be a hard person to stomach."

"I didn't particularly care for her, to be honest."

"And that's why you're out here when there's perfectly good liquor in there?"

"I brought some with me," she said and held up her goblet. She looked on the verge of saying more, but decided against it. James would have pried, but at that moment, Severus Snape passed their corridor, heading toward the Slytherin Common Room. He did not look their way. Lily's eyes widened a bit.

"Ah," James said, and Lily chewed on her lip.

"I would prefer you not say anything."

"When have I ever done what people prefer?" But he made no further comment on Snape anyway. There were only so many ways to beat a dead dragon.

They sat in silence for a moment. The others would be wondering where he was, but as James was about to stand, he noticed a strange purple mark around Lily's left wrist, almost like a bruise.

"What happened there, Evans?"

"What?"

"Your wrist."

She looked down and seemed surprised, raising the offending arm to see better in the light of the torches. The mark was faint, but it spread to the back of her hand as well.

"Maybe I'm more drunk than I thought," she said. "I have no idea where this came from. Don't look at me like that. I'm serious."

"How can you not remember getting that?"

Lily just shook her head, staring at the mark in bewilderment. James reached out a hand and wrapped it around her wrist for a moment, ignoring the stupid flip his stomach did when he touched her.

"Look, Evans. It's a handprint. Did someone grab you?"

She thought for a moment, but shook her head. "No. Not that I can remember."

"Huh," said James, sitting back against the wall again. "Strange."

"Mm," said Lily, but it seemed to James that there was something she wasn't telling him.

"Was it Broadmoor?"

Lily's eyes snapped to his, reflecting the light of the torches.

"I am _not_ going to dignify that with a response."

"But that leaves it open for me to speculate."

"I don't particularly care what you think."

"Talk about seven words."

To his great surprise, the corner of Lily's mouth twitched up into a smile.

"I'm being rude, aren't I? Sorry," she said, taking a sip from her goblet. She pulled her knees up to her chest, her purple dress robes shimmering with the movement.

James snorted. "I just asked if you had an abusive boyfriend. I think a little rudeness is merited."

" _True_."

They sat in silence for a moment, and James wondered if the quiet was as comfortable for her as it was for him.

"Do you have a flask for Remus?"

"Huh?"

"Remus—is he drinking with you?"

"Oh, yeah." He dug out Remus's flask from inside the pocket of his robes. "Why?"

Lily took it and filled it with the remaining punch from her goblet. "He'll like this. It's sweet _and_ strong."

"Thanks, Evans."

She shrugged and stood up, smoothing out her dress robes. "Now that Sev's gone, I guess I'll go back. Alice and Marlene are there if Clark's still speaking to Harriet Sharpe." She said it more to herself than James.

Lily was halfway down the corridor when James called after her. "Hey, Evans."

She turned and looked back to where he was still sitting on the floor. "What?"

"Snape might still come around, you know."

It was clear from her face that that was not was she was expecting. "Oh...um, thanks, Potter."

He nodded and she turned and disappeared around a corner, back toward the lights and music drifting from the Potion Master's office.

(Fate)

The are days that alter the course of our lives. Days in which friends are made or lost. Days in which we fall in love—or begin to. Days that we fall out of it. There are days when we forgive enemies, and days when we commit unforgivable acts.

That Saturday in September of 1976 did not seem like anything special on the surface, but had the day gone differently, the magical world would have ended up a very, very different place.

That day, Lily Evans fell in love with James Potter—or began to—though she would not realize it for a long, long time to come.

* * *

 **A/N:** I feel so-so about this. I can't quite put my finger on why.

Reviews are seven words (or more) that make me fall in love.

Yours,

Gwen


	4. Knowing And Not Knowing

**A/N:** Hey there! Thanks so much for all the positive feedback last chapter, especially those who took the time to review! You make my days brighter. This chapter is pretty much entirely from Lily and James's perspectives, so that's fun.

 **Disclaimer:** I live in a borrowed world, on borrowed time, and Rowling owns my soul.

 **Previously:** James notices a weird bruise on Lily's wrist after Slughorn's party. At said party, Lily told Severus that she'd forgiven him and that they could remain civil with each other, but they could no longer be friends like they used to be. The Ministry wants to register all Muggle-borns, but Dumbledore isn't having it for students. Lily is dating a bloke named Clark Broadmoor. James and Lily have a very civil conversation about Slughorn's mythic "Seven words to make a person fall in love." September ends.

 **Chapter Four: Knowing And Not Knowing**

It probably meant she was going to die.

Really though, it's not like it was a sign of anything good to come.

Lily sat in her bed, knees pulled up to her chest, and her heart hammering so hard she could feel it in her toes. It was the eighth of October, and something decidedly _not_ good was going to happen. The bruise on her wrist and hand, which had been there since James noticed it that night after Slughorn's party, had not faded. Rather, it clarified. _Mudblood_.

Over and over, repeated in small letters. _Mudblood._

She could not wash it off, or vanish it, or heal it. The mark might as well have been a tattoo or an old scar, identifying her, branding her. _Mudblood_.

Dark magic sealed the word onto her skin, and it was too powerful for Lily to remove on her own. The other girls were not yet awake, the sun was not even up, but Lily needed to talk to someone.

Not bothering with her uniform, the witch pulled on jeans and a sweater and grabbed her bag from on top of her trunk before hurrying down the stairs, through the common room, and out into the drafty halls of the castle. She made for the owlery, where she cleared a spot on the floor with her wand, sat, and in a shaking script, wrote. _Clark, sorry to wake you, but I have a problem and I need to talk to you. Meet me in the unused classroom beside the stairs to Ravenclaw Tower? –Lily._

Her owl, Caesar, came at her call.

"Bother him until he gets out of bed, okay?" Lily said quietly, feeding the bird a few owl treats. He hooted softly and nuzzled Lily's nose before taking off.

After a few breaths to steady her still-pounding heart, Lily quickly made her way through the sunrise and back inside the castle proper. It wasn't fear that caused her blood pressure to spike, but uncertainty. _How_ had someone been able to mark her so without her noticing? Who could have done it and why? Was it the same person who had littered the school with propaganda at the first of term? Or someone with more sinister motives?

She was already pacing in the empty classroom by the time Clark arrived, looking disheveled and concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asked, hurrying to her and holding her arms while he searched her face for answers. "What's going on?"

Lily held up her hand for him to examine.

" _Merlin_. What is this?"

"I don't know," she said, and her voice broke. And that was the worst part—the not knowing. Clark pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair.

"We'll go to Madame Minks, yeah? Maybe she can get rid of it. Have you tried vanishing it?"

Lily nodded into his chest. "I've tried everything." Her words were slightly muffled by his shirt, but she didn't pull away. "I don't know if there's anything Madame Minks can do either. I wonder if I should go to Professor McGonagall or Professor Penn. If it's dark magic, they might know more about it."

"How would someone curse you without you noticing? If it were dark magic, you would have felt it, wouldn't you?"

"I don't know. It's not like I've ever really been cursed before."

"I think you're worrying too much, Lily. It's probably some slimy Slytherin playing a sick joke. I bet Madame Minks can fix you right up. Shall we go to the hospital wing now? Or would you like to have breakfast first?"

"You go ahead to breakfast," said Lily, pulling away and kissing his jaw, the highest part of him she could reach. "It's getting late as it is. I don't want to make you miss first period."

"Lily, I don't mind, really."

"I know, but I would feel bad all the same. Why don't you save me some breakfast and I'll meet you at break?"

"If you're sure…"

"I am. I just need to stop worrying so much, like you said."

"All right, love," he said, kissing the top of her head. "I'll see you at break."

"Mm."

He left and Lily waited for him to get far enough down the hall that he would not see her walk in the opposite direction of the hospital wing. She reached Professor McGonagall's office a few minutes later and knocked softly on the door.

The Transfiguration teacher appeared, and Lily found herself at a loss for what exactly to say. What if it was her own fault for letting her guard down? What if McGonagall looked down on her for allowing something like this to happen?

"Miss Evans," said the older witch, looking at Lily expectantly.

"Good morning, professor. I…er…have a problem. I probably should have just gone to the hospital wing, but I didn't know what to do and now I'm here so," she said all of this very quickly and ended by pulling up the sleeve of her sweater and holding her arm so McGonagall could see the mark.

The professor looked at it for a long moment, her eyes going wide as she realized what it said.

"How did this happen?" she asked, ushering Lily inside the office and closing the door.

"I don't know," Lily told her, taking the seat McGonagall offered. "I had a strange…mark. I thought it was a bruise. It was there for days, but it only just turned into this."

"And you don't remember getting the mark?"

Lily shook her head. "I first noticed it after Professor Slughorn's party two weeks ago, but I don't remember doing anything or anyone doing anything to me."

"I assume you've tried to vanish it?"

"To no avail, clearly."

McGonagall sat behind her desk in silence for a while, and Lily did not interrupt her thoughts.

Her mouth was thin when she spoke, "Miss Evans, this very serious. Someone has done this to you, presumably someone _inside_ the castle. It is a very grave matter. Have you spoken of this to anyone else?"

"My boyfriend, Clark Broadmoor. He thinks I'm seeing Madame Minks." Lily felt guilty about deceiving him in this small way, but he did not think this mark was as serious as she did. She couldn't waste time with something she knew wouldn't work.

McGonagall nodded. "Come with me. We must speak to Professor Dumbledore."

Lily followed her through the slowly filling corridors to the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. When they entered the room at the top of the staircase, the headmaster was sitting behind his desk, drinking his morning tea and reading _The Daily Prophet_. Lily blinked. It was strange to see Professor Dumbledore doing something so _normal_.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked warmly, but his eyes were tense. He put his tea down and conjured an extra chair so Lily and McGonagall could sit across from him.

Lily briefly relayed the story to him, showing him the mark on her arm and restating that _no_ , she did not know where it came from.

"There are no other students who have come to you with a similar problem?" asked Dumbledore, looking to the Head of Gryffindor House.

"Miss Evans is the only one."

"Then we can assume this gesture is directed at you for a purpose, Miss Evans. Do you have any notion of what that purpose might be?"

"Against me specifically?" Lily asked, an uncomfortable familiarity growing in the pit of her stomach. _I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her_. "Well, I suppose I've always been rather vocal about how I feel when it comes to all this pureblood nonsense. And…and Severus and I were friends for a long time. His housemates didn't care for that. Maybe now that we aren't mates anymore, they want to get some sort of revenge?"

"And you don't suspect Mr. Snape himself?"

"I don't want to," Lily admitted, and Dumbledore's eyes softened. "I know there's every chance it could have been him, but friends or not, I want to believe he's better than that. He _is_ better than that. He just lets people like Avery and Mulciber tell him what to do."

Dumbledore nodded and turned back to McGonagall. "Minerva, I believe your first block is free today?"

She nodded.

"I would like you to take Lily to Alastor. He should be able to determine if the mark if of a darker nature than it appears to be, and he will know if there are others with marks appearing such as this. If Lily is the only one, we can limit the culprit to those within the castle, but if not, then we shall have to leave it to the Ministry."

"We will leave immediately."

"You may use my fireplace. It will be faster. And I will send a message along behind you."

McGonagall went to the fireplace and took a jar of floo powder from the mantle. Lily stood and took a few steps toward her. "Where are we going exactly?"

"The Ministry of Magic."

Lily swallowed hard. Suddenly everything seemed too big, too serious. What if it _had_ been Sev who'd done this to her? It was one thing to get him in trouble with Professor Dumbledore, but it was another thing entirely to get him in trouble with the Ministry. And then, what if it _hadn't_ been Severus? What if more people out in the wizarding world had the same mark? What if this was bigger than Hogwarts?

A hand on her shoulder made the young witch jump, and she turned to see Dumbledore standing beside her.

"Daunting, isn't it?" he said softly. "Facing a world beyond Hogwarts?"

"I just…I don't want it to be Severus."

"And perhaps it is not."

Lily nodded and closed the remaining distance between herself and the fireplace. McGonagall took a handful of floo powder and threw it into the flames.

"Follow directly behind me," she said, before stepping into the fire and saying, "The Ministry of Magic."

Lily did as instructed, speaking clearly. And for a moment, the world was all ash and swirling fire.

She stumbled out into a huge room, with a ceiling so high she could barely see it. McGonagall steadied her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Have you been here before?"

Lily shook her head.

"This is the Atrium. All the entrances to the Ministry lead here."

They walked to a small table where a witch sat, lazily twirling one of her black curls around her finger.

"Wands, please," she said without looking up, taking both and weighing them on a set of silver scales. "What's your business here?"

"We're visiting Alastor Moody in the Auror Department. Albus Dumbledore should have sent a message along."

The witch behind the desk sat up a bit straighter at the mention of Dumbledore's name and looked at McGonagall with what might have been fearful recognition. "If you would wait just a moment, please, I'll inform him of your arrival."

Lily and McGonagall took seats to the right of the desk while the witch scribbled a quick note on parchment and tapped it with her wand. It folded itself into a paper airplane before taking off toward the lifts.

Lily looked around the room. Witches and wizards were arriving through several great fireplaces along the walls, some apparated into the Atrium, and others came from what appeared to be Muggle London, as they were dressed in street clothes, like herself. Most of them moved hastily toward the lifts, but some stopped to chat in the Atrium before going to work. In the middle of it all, there was a large fountain, in the middle of which stood five golden statues: a tall wizard, a beautiful witch, a centaur with a bow, a goblin, and a house elf. The water trickled pleasantly, but Lily's stomach was doing backflips.

A few agonizingly long minutes later, another parchment plane zoomed by and landed on the desk.

"Mr. Moody can see you immediately," said the witch. She handed each of them a visitor badge and nodded toward the lifts. "Level two: D.M.L.E. But Miss Evans?"

"Yes?"

"When I weighed your wand, it stated that you are Muggle-born, but you aren't in the Ministry registration yet. Would you like to register now, or after you meet with Mr. Moody?"

"Neither," said Lily, and McGonagall looked ready to speak at Lily's defense. "I'm a student and I'm underage and I know that I don't have to register until I finish my N.E.W.T.s. I'm sorry. I know it's your job to ask."

The witch behind the desk raised her eyebrows, but nodded. "Very well."

They took the first lift and when the doors opened at the second floor, a calm female voice said, " _Level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services_." They walked a short way down the corridor and turned into a large room full of cubicles. There were pictures of known dark wizards plastered all over the walls, including various depictions of what Voldemort was suspected to look like. There was a large notice board with photos tacked onto it of known Death Eaters, and some of them had red X's over their faces. The atmosphere was busy and tired simultaneously, and Lily was reminded of Hogwarts during exams.

"This way," said Professor McGonagall, weaving through the cubicles until she reached one of the only true offices in the room. The plaque on the door read "Alastor Moody, Head of Auror Department."

Before McGonagall even knocked, a gruff voice inside said, "Come in."

Lily wasn't really sure what she had expected of Alastor Moody, but what she found was certainly not it. He was a large man, she could see, though he was seated behind his desk with his wand pointed at the pair of witches. His face was so scarred it looked more like roughly carved wood than skin and it seemed like the tip of his nose was missing. Most striking, however, was his great pair of mismatched eyes. One was small, dark, and beady, the other huge, lidless, and electric blue. Lily found it hard to look away.

"How do I know you're really Minerva McGonagall?" Moody growled, his wand moving back and forth between the two of them.

McGonagall seemed to have been expecting this, as she transformed easily into her Animagus—a tabby cat—and leapt gracefully unto the desk.

"All right, all right, I believe you."

She changed back, somehow managing to make it look dignified.

"And who is this?"

"Lily Evans, a student."

"Obviously. But do you _know_ it's the real Lily Evans?"

The professor sighed audibly and rolled her eyes. "Miss Evans, what was the reason for the first detention you ever received?"

Lily smiled in spite of herself. "I hexed James Potter bald."

McGonagall nodded. "It's her."

"Let's have a look at this mark, then," said Moody, pushing himself out of his chair and coming around to look at Lily. He took her left arm and pushed up the sleeve, studying it carefully. His hands were rough, but warm.

"It's definitely dark magic," he said eventually. "I haven't seen anything like it yet, you can tell Albus that much. Otherwise, it seems mostly harmless, aside from the obvious insult."

"Can you get rid of it?"

"Probably," said Moody. "But for now, I'd like her to keep it. If she doesn't mind, I suppose. I'll send a couple of my Aurors back to school with you. They can study it and see if they can trace it back to the culprit."

"It's up to you, Lily," said McGonagall.

If Severus _was_ responsible, keeping the mark could lead to him being caught, which Lily did not want to do. On the other hand, if it wasn't Sev, then perhaps her help could lead to the capture of a dark wizard or a Death Eater, and that was something Lily was willing to take a risk for.

"I suppose if it isn't going to poison me or anything…" she said.

Moody raised the one eyebrow he had. "Do you think someone is trying to poison you?"

"Er—"

"There are tell-tale signs of poisoning attempts," he went on, ignoring Lily. "If it's in your mail you can usually smell it. If it's a poultice under your bed, you can just look for it. If you think someone might be slipping it into your food, make sure you wait until others eat the same thing before consuming anything yourself. You must maintain _constant vigilance_ if you want to survive."

"Um…" Lily began, pulling her sleeve down absently. "I just meant that this mark isn't going to hurt me, right?"

"It shouldn't, no."

"Then I suppose I can keep it a bit longer, if you want the Aurors to look into it."

Moody nodded, then put his wand to his throat. "Rowle and Jane to my office. Now," he said, his voice magically magnified to spread through the department.

Soon after, two wizards entered. They both looked to be in their early thirties. One was pale, clean shaven, and wore his brown hair cropped short. The other was taller, with dark skin, warm eyes, and a bit of scruff along his jaw.

"Dorian Rowle and Celedor Jane," said Moody. "I'm sure you know Minerva."

They all nodded to each other and Lily realized that McGonagall had likely taught nearly everyone in the department. Moody explained the situation and they both took a long look at Lily's mark. Then, Moody asked Lily and McGonagall to step outside, while he explained what he called "the delicate matters" to the two Aurors.

Outside the room, Lily glanced at her watch. It was already 9:30, and break would be ending soon. Clark had no idea she'd left the school. No one did. Lily mentally kicked herself for not leaving a note for Clark or Marlene or someone, just so that they knew not to worry.

She tapped her foot impatiently and looked around the room. It was disorganized and somewhat chaotic, but it seemed that everyone knew where they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to be doing. Most of the Aurors had bags under their eyes and their motions dragged just slightly, showing fatigue that Lily guessed had been building since Voldemort and his followers first started the attacks.

Taking further stock of the room, Lily noticed a corner where some candles burned low. She excused herself from McGonagall and went to look. One wall contained pictures of smiling waving people under a sign that said "Missing," the other wall held similar photos, but under a sign that read, "Deceased." Lily felt tears well up in her eyes when they landed on Eli Faraday, Blanche's little brother.

"We keep this here to remind ourselves why we fight," a voice behind her said. She turned and faced another Auror, also tall with dark skin. He had a gold hoop earring in one ear, a bald head, and a brow that was lined with worry. He pointed to a picture on the "Missing" side. A girl a few years older than Lily waved out of it with a toddler, both happy and carefree.

"My sister and her son," said the Auror. His slow, deep voice was comforting in spite of what he was saying.

"I'm sorry," said Lily. "It's not right."

"War never is," he replied. "I saw you come out of Moody's office. You're in good hands—whatever's going on."

"Thanks," she said. "He was a bit…"

"Abrasive? You get used to it. He's good at what he does."

Lily nodded and saw Dorian and Celedor exit the office with Moody. "I've got to go. I'm Lily, by the way."

"It's nice to meet you, Lily. Good luck."

She returned to McGonagall, who informed her that they would be returning to Hogwarts soon.

"We don't want to spread news of this mark of yours any more than we have to," Celedor said. "So don't feel pressured to talk about it. We're going to keep you anonymous throughout our investigation."

"Thanks," said Lily, unconsciously pulling her sleeve down further. "But you clearly don't know the power of the Hogwarts rumor mill. What will you do at the castle?"

"Look around, question the students, patrol after hours, and keep a general watch over everything. We don't want this to happen again if we can stop it."

"And we hope," Dorian added, "that our presence will deter those students who might be considering joining the Dark Lord."

Lily wondered why they hadn't sent Aurors to Hogwarts sooner, if they really thought they could prevent students from joining Voldemort. It might have saved some of them from enslaving themselves to the dark cause. She shook off the idea though, knowing that there were very real, very powerful dark wizards out there that should be the focus of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. A few wannabes at Hogwarts couldn't concern them.

Lily checked her watch again. 9:45. She'd missed break and her friends would already be in second period by now.

"Evans, in my office, if you would," Moody said, gesturing inside. "I'd like a final word."

Lily glanced at McGonagall, who nodded, so Lily followed the grizzled Auror back inside the small room. He did not sit, so she remained standing too.

"Usually in cases such as this, the victim knows the person who attacked them, even if they don't think they remember the attack itself."

"I wasn't attacked, though," Lily insisted. Moody stopped her with a look.

"There's something you aren't telling me. If you suspect someone, we need to know."

Lily crossed her arms. "There is someone I suspect might be involved. But I don't think he was actually the one to put the mark on me."

"Names, Evans. I need names."

"Cassius Mulciber or Wyatt Avery," she said. "I think they put someone else up to it."

"Who?"

Lily bit her lip.

" _Who, damn it?_ "

"Severus Snape. He used to be a friend of mine."

Moody's good eye softened slightly. "I know how it feels to want to protect your friends. But if you think this Snape is capable of joining Voldemort or doing his bidding, then we need to know about it."

"I know," Lily told him, tucking her hair behind her ear, and suddenly all her pent-up worry came bubbling out. "I _know_. But I just don't think he's a bad person. I think Mulciber or Avery put him up to it. And I think it's my fault. I told Severus we couldn't be friends as long as he was friends with people who might want to be Death Eaters. And now I think that he's clinging to them because without me, they're his only mates. He needs someone, and I told him it couldn't be me so he went to them. If he becomes a Death Eater, it's my fault."

Moody guided her over to the chair and she sat down. She didn't cry, but her hands were shaking, and the Auror awkwardly patted her shoulder.

"You can't blame yourself," he said. His voice was gruff, but there was some warmth to it. "No one person can make another go good or bad. Whatever a person is, it's in them all along. If this friend of yours is as good a person as you think he is, then he won't go over to Voldemort, but if he's not, then it isn't your fault."

Lily shook her head. "You don't understand. Growing up—before Hogwarts—he lived down the street from me. His father was abusive and I was his only means of escape. I've always been that for him. He needed me and I was afraid of getting hurt and I couldn't let him back in."

"Back in?"

 _I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her._

"He…he called me a Mudblood once. But it was only after he had been embarrassed in front of the whole school. I tried to step in and defend him and he didn't want my help."

Lily wasn't really sure why she was telling all of this to a man she'd just met, who didn't know anything about her and probably didn't want to. But something about him made it easy to talk. Perhaps it was because she already felt that his magical blue eye could see right through her.

"Then it sounds to me like he made his choice a long time ago."

"I could have saved him."

"You don't know that. And you can't dwell on the past. You lose your focus on the present."

Moody was right. And Lily wondered if it was too late to give Sev another chance, maybe he really _had_ made his choice that day at the lake, even if he didn't realize it at the time.

"I'll give all three names to Jane and Rowle. They can investigate further before we accuse anyone."

"Thanks," said Lily. She stood and left Moody in his office. She could feel his blue eye on her long after she'd shut the door behind her.

(Always)

"Snape!"

The wizard in question paused on his way to the Great Hall for lunch, and turned to see Cassius Mulciber, Wyatt Avery, and Regulus Black hurrying to catch up with him.

"What is it, Mulciber?"

"Not here."

He led the way to an empty classroom near Filch's office and sealed the door behind them.

"Do that spell of yours," Avery said to Snape, waving vaguely at the door. "The one that won't let others hear what we're saying."

Knowing that everyone was at lunch and certainly _not_ eavesdropping, Snape rolled his eyes. Nonetheless, he pulled out his wand and muttered, " _Muffliato_."

"So what is this all about?" asked Regulus, crossing his arms and looking back and forth between Avery and Mulciber.

"Understand that what we are about to tell you is _extremely_ secret," said Mulciber, he gripped his wand in one hand and a piece of parchment in the other. "If you breathe a _word_ of this to _anyone_ , I will see personally that you're made to regret it."

"Get on with it," Snape said. "We're not idiots."

Mulciber nodded and help up the parchment. "Word from Lucius Malfoy. He says there's a messenger coming to the castle. He's going to check our progress with the initiation tests and report back to Malfoy."

"Who is it?"

"We don't know that yet. He's going to reveal himself to us when he knows that we can be trusted."

Snape nodded. "Is that all? I'd really like to get to lunch before third period starts."

"Not quite," said Mulciber.

"I'm sure you noticed that Evans was missing from classes today?" asked Avery.

"What of it?"

"I saw her with McGonagall this morning," Mulciber said. "They were going to Dumbledore's office. She was hiding her left hand."

"So we think your little mark actually worked."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Did you think it wouldn't?"

"We weren't sure you'd actually do anything to your precious Mudblood. Let's hope marking her is enough to convince Lucius Malfoy and his messenger that you're dedicated to the cause."

"When he told you to curse Evans," Avery said. "I imagine he had something more sinister in mind."

"The mark is permanent," Snape said. "It would take some powerful magic to remove it. And look."

Snape showed them the inside of his wrist, where a tiny letter "M" glowed faintly on his pale skin. He touched it with his wand and whispered, " _Ostende_."

Words appeared beneath the "M" in small, cramped writing. _Lily Evans is at the Ministry of Magic building in London, England. She is on the second floor in Alastor Moody's office._

The words faded, and the other boys looked impressed.

"She's probably seeing if she can get the mark removed."

"It's good you're on our side, Snape," said Regulus. "You'd be a frightening enemy."

Little did they know the real power of Snape's curse. While _he_ had seen that Lily was in the Ministry of Magic, likely speaking to someone about the mark, the others had seen _Lily Evans is at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She is on the third floor in the hospital wing._

It was dangerous, and probably stupid. If they ever thought to make him prove that it showed her true location, he could be punished, but he'd had to come up with a way to demonstrate his loyalty to Lucius Malfoy and protect Lily at the same time. This was the best he had.

"Just be ready," Mulciber said, clearly ignoring Regulus's statement. "Malfoy said we should hear from the messenger by the Hogsmeade trip next weekend. He plans to meet us and the messenger then."

Snape nodded once, disabled the _Muffliato_ charm, and left the classroom.

(Won't Let You Get Too Far Away)

Lily flooed back to Dumbledore's office with Professor McGonagall just before third period began. Celedor and Dorian, who did not have access to such a protected floo line, apparated to Hogsmeade instead, and would arrive at the castle shortly.

"I will speak to Professors Flitwick and Penn to explain why you were missing from your morning classes," McGonagall told Lily after relaying the events at the Ministry to Professor Dumbledore. "If you hurry, you have time for lunch before my class begins."

"Thank you, professor."

She descended quickly from the office and made her way to the Great Hall, hoping she would find Clark there and explain why she missed their meeting at break. However, as soon as she walked through the large doors, Marlene, Alice, and Sylvia surrounded her.

" _Where_ have you been?"

"We've be worried sick, Lily!"

"Your bed was empty and nobody had seen you—"

"And Clark said something about Slytherins and that you were in the hospital wing—"

"But Madame Minks said she hadn't seen you all day—"

"It's okay," said Lily, running a hand through her hair and pulling her left sleeve down to hide her hand. "I'm _fine_. I'm sorry I worried you. Things just happened rather fast this morning and I thought I'd be back and then I wasn't. And I shouldn't have lied to Clark about where I was going. Gods, that was stupid."

"Slow down, Lily," Sylvia said. "Start from the beginning."

Lily glanced longingly at the food piled on the Gryffindor table, but knew she owed her friends an explanation. "Let's go somewhere private."

They found an empty corridor off the Great Hall and Lily showed them the mark on her arm.

"What the _hell_?"

"I don't know," Lily said. "I thought it was just a bruise. It showed up _days_ ago—after Slughorn's party. I didn't really think much of it. But I woke up this morning and it was kind of burning and then it turned into this."

"And you don't know who did it?"

Lily shook her head. "Not really. Naturally I suspect Mulciber and Avery, but I don't have any memory of them ever actually doing anything."

"So where were you all morning?"

"Well I talked to Clark first thing. He thought I should go to the hospital wing and see if Madame Minks could just remove it, but I thought it might be a bigger deal than that, so I went to McGonagall instead. She took me to Dumbledore and he sent us to the Ministry of Magic to talk to an Auror."

Marlene whistled. "You've had quite the morning."

"What did the Auror say?"

"That it was clearly dark magic, but that it likely wouldn't hurt me. He sent two Aurors back with us to do some investigating, because it was likely someone in the school that did it."

"But he couldn't remove the mark?" asked Alice.

"He didn't try. He wanted me to keep it for a bit in case they needed it for their investigation. He thinks he can remove it though, once they find out who put it there."

Marlene stepped forward and hugged Lily tightly. "Please don't scare us like that again," she said softly.

Lily returned the embrace, tears threatening to spill over for the first time that day. "I'm sorry," she said into Marlene's shoulder, closing her eyes and swallowing hard. "I won't. I promise."

The bell rang then, and the four girls jumped.

"Damn, we're late," Alice said, glancing at her watch.

Sylvia gave Lily a quick hug. "I've got Care of Magical Creatures, but I'll see you tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah, we've got to get to Transfiguration."

Lily, Marlene, and Alice nearly ran up the stairs and arrived in the Transfiguration classroom flushed and breathless. Alice tried to apologize for their tardiness, but McGonagall waved it off, gesturing to their seats.

Lily was suddenly grateful that she'd brought her bag with her that morning. She did not have her textbook, but at least she had quill and parchment.

 _Are you all right? We noticed you didn't come to Charms or Defense. —RL_

Neat script appeared in the margin of her notes, and Lily looked up to see Remus watching her from across the room. Beside him, James, Peter, and Sirius were sending tiny wads of parchment flying at the heads of the Slytherins in front of them.

 _I'm fine. I can explain later. And what's this 'we' business? Your mates seem a bit preoccupied._

She looked up again and saw Remus smile slightly before writing back.

 _It sounded less stalkerish if I wasn't the only one paying attention to your whereabouts. One day I'm going to make Dumbledore pay for putting me in charge of these gits._

 _In his defense, who else was he going to choose?_

 _True. That's what I tell Sirius when he complains about it._

 _So everyday?_

 _At least three times._

Lily smiled, then realized she had missed ten minutes of McGonagall's lecture already and set about taking actual notes, ignoring her growling stomach and the lingering anxiety the morning had brought about.

(Mess Is Mine)

James spent a long moment talking to himself in the mirror that evening, convincing himself that he could handle Quidditch tryouts, no matter how bad they might be. Sirius, on the other hand, remained gravely silent, pulling on his Quidditch uniform as if it was to be his final act.

It didn't help that Evans had disappeared that morning. James's nerves were already fraying with the thought of tryouts that night, but the stress of not knowing what was going on with her was pushing him close to breaking point. He'd snapped at a third year at dinner for chewing too loudly and taken the wrong staircase up to Gryffindor tower. It had been a full five minutes before he'd realized he was walking down a dead end corridor. He kept telling himself he shouldn't care what Evans was up to, but it was not knowing that made it so difficult. Not knowing made his brain come up with all sorts of awful things that could have happened to her.

And then she just showed up to Transfiguration and acted like nothing was wrong. Typical bloody Evans.

He left Sirius in the dorm. He wanted to get to the pitch early to fly a few laps and clear his head before the tryouts began. But of course, as he was about to leave through the portrait hole, it opened, and Lily Evans entered with Marlene and Alice.

"Penn," he said. "Better hurry and get into your uniform. Don't be late."

"I know, I know," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll see you girls afterward. Maybe. Don't wait up."

"Good luck," Lily and Alice chorused as Marlene hurried up to the girls' dormitory to change.

"Whoops, I'm late too," Alice said, looking at her watch. "I was supposed to meet Frank in the library five minutes ago."

"Best not keep him waiting any longer," said Lily.

Alice gave her a searching look. "You sure you're okay by yourself?"

Lily smiled. "Of course, Alice. Don't worry about me. If I need company I'll come crash your study date, okay?"

"You better." Alice gave Lily a quick hug and dashed away.

"What was that about?"

"What?"

"Don't give me that, Evans. 'You sure you're okay by yourself'? What happened today?"

"Look it's—"

"Don't tell me it's none of my business," said James. He didn't mean it to sound so harsh, but he was stressed enough without having to drag information out of her. "Whatever you've done has got Marlene worried and I need her in top condition if tryouts are going to run smoothly. Not to mention Remus spent half the morning fretting, which has Sirius on edge, which has _me_ on edge."

Lily looked indignant. "Oh _excuse me_ , my lord, Potter. I didn't mean for my life to _inconvenience_ you. Sorry if some of us think that there are some things a bit more important than sodding Quidditch."

"I _know_ there's more to life than Quidditch. Like your friends, who you ditched today without telling them anything about where you were. People were _worried_ about you."

Her eyes softened, and James knew she already felt guilty for making people worry. It wasn't really his place to rub it in. She made to brush by him, but he grabbed her wrist. Her sleeve came up and what he saw there made his heart stop.

"Evans…what…?"

Lily pulled away and pushed her sleeve back down to cover her hand, where the word _Mudblood_ repeated over and over in small letters. It was the same hand where James, all those nights ago, had noticed a bruise.

"Don't worry. It's not going to distract Marlene tonight, all right? I've already explained everything to her. She knows not to worry."

"Listen…I didn't mean—"

"Yes you did. You always do. Sometimes I think you forget that other people actually have lives too. We don't stop existing once we're out of your line of vision, you know. And some of us have other things to think about than Quidditch."

A stiff silence followed. James couldn't understand how sometimes he could have such easy conversations with Lily Evans…

" _Slughorn was telling me tonight how he knows the 'seven words to make a person fall in love.' I thought it was a load of rubbish, but you might be on to something there. 'You smell like my dad's liquor cabinet.' That has to be it."_

" _You're mad, Evans. And you_ are _drunk."_

" _That's another seven words, and they're almost as charming as the last."_

" _Drunk."_

" _Tipsy. I will accept tipsy."_

…And other times he managed to make interacting with her worse than a hippogriff colliding with a dragon. Maybe it had been the alcohol that night. Perhaps he should get her to drink with him more often.

That sounded creepy.

"I should get going."

He was almost through the portrait hole when she said, "For the record, Potter, I was never going to tell you that it was none of your business. You're kind of a git, you know?"

James sighed in frustration. Because, of course, she was right. Obviously, she'd had a bad day and he was only making things worse.

He ran a hand through his hair and the portrait hole shut behind him.

"James Potter?"

James looked to see a wizard he did not recognize leaning against the wall in the corridor. He was thin and pale with narrow eyes. James disliked him instantly, without being able to say precisely why.

"Who's asking?"

"Dorian Rowle," said the wizard, pushing himself off the wall and coming to stand in front of James. He held out a hand, which James shook hesitantly. "I'm an Auror." He flashed a badge. "I'm going with you to the Quidditch pitch for extra security. Dumbledore's orders."

"Since when?"

"Since today. Best if you didn't ask any questions, as I can't give you many answers."

"Why not?"

Rowle rolled his eyes. "Because I'm here on Ministry business that doesn't need to be spread to the likes of _you_. I don't care who your father is."

"What's he got to do with anything? I don't want you there distracting _my_ team."

"Grow up, Potter. I have little time for your supercilious attitude."

"Whatever. Just keep out of the way."

James brushed by him, knowing he should have more respect for someone in the Auror department, especially if he wanted to work in the same position some day in the future. He winced as that thought sunk in. If Rowle was highly ranked, he could keep James from getting in to the program. Damn his stupid mouth.

He walked several paces ahead of Rowle, and the entire trip down to the pitch passed in silence. Rowle took a place in the empty stands while James went to the locker room to get his broom.

People were already showing up for tryouts when he exited the locker room and stepped onto the grass. _There goes a flight to clear my head,_ he thought bitterly. Marlene and Sirius were there, closely followed by Gracie Corey and Ken Carlson. Then, promptly at six, the flood of hopeful players burst out onto the pitch.

James took a deep breath and Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "You've got this, mate," he said.

"Yeah," Marlene agreed. "No one knows the game like you. You'll make the right choice—er…choices."

Gracie and Ken nodded their agreement.

James cracked his knuckles, rolled his neck, and went to stand before the throng.

"Listen up!" he called, his voice carrying over the pitch. "If you're a first year or not in Gryffindor, get the hell out _now_. I don't have the patience to put up with it, and this will go a lot easier on everyone if you just leave."

One or two students near the back did so, and James gave the rest a stern look for good measure. "All right, this is Marlene Penn. Assuming you all actually _are_ in Gryffindor, you should know who she is. She's our Seeker. You're all going to line up and sign this parchment that she has with your name, year, and position you're trying out for. We need a Chaser and a Beater. Once you've done that, you can go over and wait by the wall until I call your name."

There was some shoving and grumbling as the students formed a line. Once they had managed something passably linear, James continued, "Chaser tryouts will consist of flying around the pitch, passing and catching with myself and Carlson, and trying to score on Corey. Beaters will be working primarily with Sirius. You'll be aiming at Penn. If all goes to plan, we can run the two positions simultaneously."

"What if we want to try out for both?"

"Indicate that on the sheet and we'll make it work. Any other questions?"

There was a general shaking of heads.

"Good. And I forgot to mention—Penn will be asking all of you for the password to Gryffindor Tower. If you can't give it, you're out. If you manage to get it from another student and sign without actually being in Gryffindor, you'll be cursed with incurable diarrhea. Cheers!"

James watched ten or so students pale and leave the line. He grinned. _Brilliant, Evans._ The diarrhea had been a bluff, as he had no actual way to determine if someone was lying, but his reputation was good enough that he could say such things and people would believe him.

The remaining students numbered about twenty. That was an amount he could manage without wanting to fly headlong into the Whomping Willow.

—

Three hours later, James wanted to fly headlong into the Whomping Willow anyway. Nearly everyone signed up to try out for both positions, which made it all take twice as long. They got through about five people an hour, and no one was remotely good enough for James to even consider. There were still six people to go, but he wasn't overly optimistic.

He blew his whistle loudly. "Everyone take ten!"

He landed with his current teammates, who looked as weary as James felt. "Come on you lot," he said, putting one arm around Sirius's shoulders and the other around Ken's. "We deserve a break."

The five of them entered the locker room and James pulled a bottle of firewhiskey from his bag. "One shot each," he said, conjuring up five glasses. "You've earned more than that, but I don't want you plummeting to your deaths."

"Yeah, then you'd have to replace us too," said Marlene, taking the offered glass and tossing it back. The others followed suit.

"Do you have any thoughts so far?" asked Ken, sitting down on one of the benches. "Because in _my_ opinion, everyone sucks."

"You took the words out of my mouth," James told him.

"Felicity Greengrass wasn't _terrible_ ," said Gracie. "She got that one shot by me."

"You were talking to Sirius when that happened."

"True. But she's the only one who's managed a goal at all. At least she can aim."

"If she ever got hit with a Bludger, she'd break in half," said Ken.

"That's what they said about Marlene when she joined," said James, grasping at straws. "She's been fine."

"She's a better flyer than Felicity," Gracie said.

"Besides, Felicity's a seventh year. Not to be prejudiced, but you're already going to have to replace me next year. The team needs some stability," Ken said glumly. "What about that fourth year? Jeff…something?"

"Ross? He was all right. He had the best chemistry with you and me out of all the people we've seen. We can keep him in mind in case no one better shows themselves in this last batch." James lit a cigarette and took a long drag. "How's the Beater front looking?"

Marlene and Sirius looked at each other and groaned.

"There was one kid…what was her name?"

"Leah," Marlene said. "Leah Laurel."

"That beefy girl?" asked James.

"That's mean."

"It's also true."

"Yes, the beefy one," Sirius said before Marlene could respond. "She could at least ride a broom properly. She was strong."

"Her aim wasn't worth much though. And she was slow."

"Aim we can work on, at least," James said. He looked at his watch. "Our ten minutes are up. Let's get out there and just…just get through it." He took a last drag on his cigarette and tossed it in the bin before leading them all back out onto the pitch.

Once back in the air, James looked at his list. "Farley! Rob Farley!"

A skinny boy in third year flew up to James with a determined expression on his face. "That's me."

"Okay," said James, tucking the list inside his robes. "Let's see you fly. You know the drill. Two laps around the pitch. The second lap we'll be shooting some Bludgers at you."

The boy nodded and took off, and James regained a small bit of hope. He saw Gracie perk up on her broom across the pitch, and Marlene and Sirius stopped what they were doing to watch. Farley was fast and had good form on his broom. When James took a spare Beater bat and aimed a Bludger in his direction, he dodged it, rolling his broom and letting it fly over him. He was a little shaky coming back up, but that was just a result of inexperience. James definitely saw potential in him.

"Good work!" James said when Farley came to a clean stop next to Ken. "Now down to Quaffle handling."

Ken tossed the ball to Farley, who caught it and threw it to James, who took off down the pitch. Farley stayed beside him, several yards away, with Ken flanking them both. James dropped the Quaffle to Ken, who swooped down to catch it and immediately rocketed it up to Farley. He almost didn't catch it, but once he secured it in his grip, he took the point position, heading toward the goalposts with great speed. Gracie braced herself, eyes darting between the three boys.

Farley shot at the leftmost goal, and Gracie blocked it, but not without difficulty. Farley, who did not appear all that strong, had used the momentum of his broom to add power to his shot. Gracie smiled widely as she looped the goalposts once and tossed the Quaffle back to Ken.

"Finally!" she said. "A challenge!"

They ran the drill a few more times. Farley managed to make one shot, and all the shots he took were on-goal, even if Gracie blocked them.

Rob Farley was the one, and James knew it. He wanted to stop tryouts then and there, but that wouldn't be fair to the remaining five hopefuls.

Before calling the next name, he looked were where Marlene and Sirius were testing another Beater. Marlene was bobbing and weaving near the ground, but she hardly needed to bother. The fifth year that flew next to Sirius was holding the wrong end of the Beater bat.

James's palm connected with his forehead, but he had other people to deal with, so he looked away.

An hour later, tryouts finally ended, and James assembled everyone on the ground. People had left once they finished their trial, and James couldn't blame them. It was going on midnight.

"Okay, for those of you still here, I'll tell you that the current team is going to discuss and we'll post those who made the team on the notice board in the common room tomorrow. Get to bed, you lot."

They left and James, once more, led his team to the locker room. An unfamiliar wizard was waiting. He was tall, with dark skin and an easy going air about him.

"James Potter," he greeted, standing from the bench when the team entered. "Celedor Jane. I believe you met my partner, Rowle, earlier this evening?"

James shook his outstretched hand and nodded. "Did he leave?"

"About three hours ago," Celedor said, shaking his head in amusement. "I told him I would stay in his place. You really had your work cut out for you tonight, Captain."

"You're telling me," said James, shrugging out of the scarlet robes that served as the outer uniform. He tossed water to each of his teammates before taking one himself and sitting down on the bench.

"How'd it go?" James asked Marlene and Sirius.

"We have to pick Leah," said Sirius, though he didn't look particularly pleased.

Marlene nodded. "I swear it's like those people have never even seen a game before."

"I saw that one bloke holding the bat upside down," said Ken, rubbing his eyes.

"He said he could aim better that way," Sirius told him. "Bloody moron."

"So you're sure Leah's the best option? I'm just going to trust your word, so whatever you two say goes."

Marlene and Sirius both nodded.

"She's the _only_ option," said Marlene.

"Well, the good news is, I think we found a damn good Chaser, once he gets some experience. Leah Laurel and Rob Farley it is. Let's go to bed."

The others made no protest, and Celedor Jane walked them back up to the castle.

They stumbled through the portrait hole and into the nearly empty common room.

"Lily?" said Marlene, while Sirius, Gracie and Ken headed straight for the staircases. "What are you still doing up?"

Lily looked up from the parchment she was scribbling on by the fire. "Just copying Alice's notes from the morning classes. How did tryouts go?"

James and Marlene took seats across from Lily, both sweaty and utterly exhausted. The looks on their faces seemed to be all the answer Lily needed.

"That bad?"

"Worse."

"Did you at least find _someone_?"

"We got a pretty decent Chaser, the way James talks about it," said Marlene. "And a Beater who might be acceptable. With a lot of training."

Lily nodded. "Good. With the rate that you and your band of merry men lose us house points, Potter, we need all we can get from Quidditch."

James wasn't really sure who the 'merry men' were, but he smiled all the same. "We could've won the season with just the five of us. I just held tryouts to give McGonagall peace of mind."

"Oh," Lily said, rolling her eyes, but she was smiling. "I see."

Marlene yawned and stretched. "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning, Lily."

"Night!"

James was still sitting there, too physically and mentally drained to want to move. He could feel tension coming from Lily as she stared pointedly down at her parchment. He really should thank her for her brilliant idea with the Gryffindor password. Had it not been for Lily, he would still be down on the pitch. Or he might _actually_ have flown into the Whomping Willow. Somehow, though, looking at her there, his mouth simply wouldn't form the proper words.

"How's your arm?"

"The same."

"How are _you_?"

"It doesn't bother me. I mean, it doesn't hurt or anything. Obviously it bothers me. Not as much as I thought it would though."

"What do you mean?" She'd been testy and upset for _weeks_ after Snape called her a Mudblood the previous year. Was this so different?

Lily rolled her sleeve up, studying the mark. "I _am_ a Mudblood."

"Don't call yourself—"

"I am though. Muggle-born, I mean. It's a part of who I am just like playing Quidditch is a part of you. So what if it's supposed to be an insult? It's just a word, you know?"

"It bothered you enough when Snape said it."

 _I probably shouldn't have said that._

Lily's eyes narrowed and she pulled her sleeve back down. "You know that's different. It would be like Sirius telling you that you're a rubbish captain and meaning it. Besides, I was stuck on that moment for ages after it happened. And I guess that made me come to terms with the word."

"It really doesn't bother you?"

"Well, I _know_ I could take Mulciber or Avery in a fight. I'm quite good at magic, you know," she smiled slightly, because everyone did already know that. "And that's enough for me. They can call me whatever they want. I'm still the same person."

Again, words came tumbling out of his mouth before James gave any real thought to them.

"You're kind of brilliant, you know that?"

Color rose in Lily's cheeks and James smiled involuntarily.

"Um, thanks."

"There are some Aurors here now," he said after they were quiet for a while. He wanted to keep the conversation going. "Rowle and Jane."

"I know."

"Oh."

"I went to the Ministry this morning."

James looked up. She was chewing on the end of her quill and nervously tapping her foot, parchment forgotten.

"Evans, you don't have to tell me—"

"I know I don't. But everyone else knows anyway. I told Remus during our patrols tonight and he's probably already told Peter…And you know, it's probably best to hear it from the original source, before it gets all telephoned and warped."

"Telephoned?"

"Never mind. Muggle thing."

"I know what a telephone is, I just don't understand how it applies to this…"

"That's not the point," said Lily. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked into the fire rather than at James. "I went to McGonagall this morning when this mark on my arm first appeared. She took me to Dumbledore. He sent us to the Ministry. We spoke to an Auror named Alastor Moody."

"Yeah? I've met him. He's incredible, but _completely_ mental."

Lily smiled. "That's the impression I got, too. Anyway, he sent Rowle and Jane back to investigate things here. I don't care much for Rowle, but Jane seems pretty solid. How'd you meet them?"

"They came to supervise tryouts. Make sure everything was safe or something. I guess they think if someone can do that to you inside the castle, other things could happen too."

Lily put her quill down and chewed on her lip instead. He wished she wouldn't.

"I don't think that's the case. Not to sound, you know, conceited or anything, but I think this really is about _me_. Specifically. I don't think it's going to happen to anyone else."

"What makes you say that?"

Lily sighed, met his eyes briefly, and looked away again. "You're going to say 'I told you so'."

"It was _Broadmoor_?"

"What? _No_ , you prat. I think…I think it was Severus."

"Oh. Well I can't say I'm surprised. The git. Have you confronted him about it?"

"No, because I don't actually know for sure. And I don't want him to think I suspect him if it _wasn't_ him because that would be a whole different issue."

"So you just plan to let Jane and Rowle figure it out on their own?"

She hesitated, struggling with something she clearly did not want to admit. "I gave them Sev's name. And Mulciber's and Avery's. I think they put him up to it, you know. Like a test."

"You seem more bothered by the fact that you told someone it _might_ be Snape than by the actual possibility that it could be." James was impressed. Lily was the type to protect her friends, even (especially) Severus Snape. It must have taken a good bit of nerve to tell Moody what she actually thought.

Lily leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs and arms simultaneously. She shrugged. "Sev made his choice. I'm starting to make peace with that. Moody, of all people, helped me see reason a bit. But I don't want to cause further problems between Sev and me if I can avoid it, and accusing him of this would definitely make trouble. I'd like to stay civil with him, you know?"

"Not really," he was leaning forward in his chair, elbows resting on his knees, though he did not consciously remember moving.

Lily took a breath; James knew she was searching for the right words. It was in the way her eyes focused on the fire again, unblinking, and the way the flames shimmered in them, orange curling around the green.

"In Herbology—that day with the hellebore—you told me I was…I was trying to save Severus. I couldn't admit then, not really. But you were right."

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Ha-ha. You're very funny, Potter." She didn't seem angry though. Once upon a time, he'd built her up in his mind as a great prude, always following the rules, always sucking the fun out of everything, but it simply wasn't true. She was usually like this: witty, honest, and slightly on edge, but all around a rather fantastic person to spend time with. He'd demonized her so that he wouldn't have to admit that he actually kind of liked this spirited, intelligent witch who stuck up for Slytherins and would never, _never_ give a prick like him the time of day.

James grinned. "So you were saying I was right…"

"I _was_ trying to save Severus. I guess I realized today that I always thought if we stayed friends, he wouldn't want to become a Death Eater, but Moody said something today that struck a chord with me. He said, 'Whatever a person is, it's in them all along.' So Sev has to make his own choice. I can't do anything to change it."

"So you're just giving up on him?"

 _Wait. What did I just say?_

"Who's side are you on, Potter?"

 _Yours._

James shrugged. "I just think if _you_ think you can make such a difference in him, you shouldn't give up. It's not like I want any more Death Eaters out there either. Moody's right, I think. Whatever's in a person _is_ in them always, so if you ever saw good in Snape, then maybe that's what's been there all along. He's just had some…bad influences."

She was looking at him strangely, like she'd looked at McGonagall on the first day of first year when the professor transformed into a tabby cat right before their eyes. Like he was something utterly foreign to her.

"What?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.

"You know," she said after a long moment, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards. "you're not _such_ a git."

James laughed, ignoring the fact that his chest felt three times lighter all of a sudden. "Careful with your seven words, Evans. Wouldn't want me to fall for you, would you?"

But, of course, it was a bit too late for that.

* * *

 **A/N:** This is the same length as the other chapters, but feels incredibly short to me for some reason. Perhaps because it sticks mostly to two POVs. I always love to hear your thoughts, so please drop me a review! And you can always find me on tumblr. My handle (or whatever you call it there) is waterrbender.

 **Update October 12, 2015:** I've gone through and re-edited these first few chapters, just correcting typos and such. I know as a reader they can be distracting, so I hope I caught them all. If you ever notice any, feel free to point them out.

Love,  
Gwen


	5. The Times They Are A-Changin'

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait. Happy reading!

 **Previously:** Lily wakes up to find a strange mark on her arm, which she strongly suspects was placed there by Severus Snape. Her suspicions are, in fact, correct, and Snape can use the mark to track Lily's location, though to anyone else, it shows a false location. She goes to the Ministry, where she meets Alastor Moody. Moody, suspecting dark magic, sends two Aurors, Dorian Rowle and Celedor Jane, to investigate at Hogwarts. Slughorn tells Lily about the mythical "Seven Words to Make a Person Fall In Love," and Lily and James joke about what these words might be. Lily is dating Ravenclaw Quiddicth Captain, Clark Broadmoor. Edgar Bones is the son of the Minister for Magic.

 **Disclaimer:** Bow down to Queen Rowling, she owns it all.

 **Chapter Five: The Times They Are A-Changin'**

The cold stone floor stretched endlessly in front of him. Dim light seeped from under the door to the hospital wing, halfway down the hall, but as it was after hours, James was forced to crouch beneath his invisibility cloak and move slowly so as not to alert the attentive ears of Ms. Norris to his presence. It felt like he would never get there.

He did reach the door, of course, and rather sooner than expected, for he was suddenly faced with the daunting task of actually pushing it open and entering the room.

Anyone else might have hesitated.

As it stood, he was James Potter, so he pulled off the cloak, shoved it in the pocket of his filthy Quidditch robes, and shouldered through the door without (he told himself) a second thought.

Low torchlight burned the image into his mind: her sitting on one of the clean white beds, knees hugged to her chest and chin resting atop them. She was pale and tired looking, and her hair stuck up wildly around her face, but she was _there_. It brought James more relief than he would ever admit.

"Evans, I just heard. We were having a party in the common room and no one knew until Alice and Marlene came back. _Merlin_ , are you okay?" It came out way too fast, and James hoped Lily would not notice the way his voice didn't sound quite right.

She looked at him then, taking a moment to process what she saw. He must've looked a right mess: Quidditch robes half hanging off him, his hair in its usual state of disaster, and God knows what kind of expression on his face.

Maybe she'd yell at him, tell him to get out and leave her be. That's probably what he _should_ do, were he a sane, normal person.

To his great surprise, Lily bit her lip and began to cry.

(Approximately Thirty-Six Hours Earlier)

"There's something off about that Rowle bloke," James announced to his friends as a horseless carriage pulled them down the muddy road to Hogsmeade. It had rained the night before, and mist still clung to the air in thick masses, casting the world outside the carriage in varying degrees of grey.

The Auror in question had seen them off that morning, taking Filch's place in checking off the names of students departing for the village.

"He's not the most pleasant person," Remus said. "But I don't think they would let someone suspicious into the Auror department. The background checks they have to go through are extensive."

James knew this, and though he had no concrete reason for his doubts, the Quidditch Captain could not shake his growing unease.

"He _is_ kind of twitchy though," said Peter.

"Prongs is just jealous that Evans is spending so much time with Rowle." Sirius grinned wickedly as James shoved him in the shoulder.

The carriage stopped and they climbed out. It was chilly, and fewer students roamed the streets than was normal for the first Hogsmeade visit of the year. Missing person posters plastered the shop windows and two Ministry hit wizards stood outside the Three Broomsticks, speaking in hushed tones.

James frowned at the bleak atmosphere, and his expression deepened as he saw Lily Evans, out of the corner of his eye, climbing out of the next carriage with Clark Broadmoor. The long sleeves of her sweater were pulled down, covering her left wrist and hand in an almost subtle way. He looked away quickly, but that aggravating sixth sense he seemed to have when it came to Lily told him she was heading toward the pub.

"So…Zonko's?"

"You read my mind, Wormtail," said James, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers and leading the way. "I think it's time we lighten the mood."

(The Three Broomsticks)

"Come on, you can't tell me you haven't noticed _anything_ strange about him," Lily, who considered herself a decent judge of character, said to her boyfriend as he held open the door to the Three Broomsticks.

Clark shrugged. "Not particularly. But I've never actually spoken to him."

"There's just something in his eyes," said Lily. "He gives me the creeps."

The pair spoke of Dorian Rowle, as most students had been since the Auror arrived at Hogwarts with his partner the week before.

"Lils, he's an Auror, all right? There's nothing to worry about."

While Lily saw this as a rather naïve way of thinking, she was not in the mood for an argument, and conceded the point for the time being. They found a table and Lily sat while Clark went to collect butterbeer, and the witch was soon joined by Jared McKinnon.

"Hi, Lily."

"Hey, Jared. Looking for Marlene?"

The Hufflepuff nodded.

"She's got a date, actually," Lily told him with a frown.

"Oh. Er…with who?"

"Elliot McLaggen."

"Gross."

"That's what I said."

"What's she doing with him? Doesn't she know he's a prick?"

"She does," said Lily, who had spoken extensively to Marlene that morning. "But Alice and I both had dates and, to be honest, I think she's trying to prove something to her sister."

Jared sighed. "She has _got_ to stop comparing herself to Rory. It's not healthy."

"Easier said than done."

"I know."

"Don't worry too much. Marlene isn't thick. She can take care of herself."

"Thanks, Lily."

Clark returned then, and Jared left to find his friends.

"What was that about?" asked Clark, sliding into Jared's vacated seat.

"He was looking for Marlene, and I had to tell him she's on a date with Elliot McLaggen, poor thing."

"You think McKinnon fancies Marlene?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "He's _besotted_. Anyone with eyes can see that. Anyone but Marlene, that is."

"Huh," said Clark, taking a sip of his butterbeer. "I always thought they were just mates."

Lily gave him a knowing look. " _Please_."

"Poor bloke," Clark agreed. "Marlene is _way_ out of his league."

"What? Jared is probably the sweetest person I know. _Much_ nicer than Elliot McLaggen."

"Yeah…but I mean, just look at him. He's so…average. And Marlene is…well…"

"Beautiful?"

"Yeah."

"If girls only dated for looks I wouldn't be with you, would I?" said Lily, grinning cheekily at her boyfriend. He tried to look offended, but laughed instead.

"You said I look like Paul Newman!"

"You don't even know who Paul Newman is," Lily teased. "He could be completely gross and you'd never know."

"Ah, so you've been using your Muggle knowledge to subtly insult me all this time. Clever."

Lily grinned at him over her butterbeer. "I do my best."

The door opened then and four boys, each carrying a large Zonko's sack, entered and headed for a large table near the back of the pub. They began emptying their spoils onto the table and Lily took Clark's hand to pull him to his feet.

"Let's get out of here," she said, eyeing the boys suspiciously. "Before we get caught in the middle of something undoubtedly stupid and probably dangerous."

The Ravenclaw did not disagree, and the pair headed out into the chilly October air.

(Let It Be)

Edgar was staring thoughtlessly into the dregs of his butterbeer when someone slid into the seat across from him.

"Mind if I join you, mate?" asked Jared McKinnon, and Edgar nodded.

"Where's Marlene?" the Ravenclaw inquired.

Jared took a gulp of his own butterbeer and shrugged. "On a date."

"So I'm just your second choice, eh?"

"Third or fourth, more like." Jared grinned.

 _Thunk._

Edgar and Jared jumped as a large bottle of firewhiskey slammed onto their table. The owner of which was a wickedly grinning Sirius Black.

"Bones, McKinnon," he greeted, and they nodded in return. "I hope you're ready for your day to get _much_ better."

"Who said we were having a bad day?"

Sirius gave them a look that said it was obvious, and the two boys did not object further. He sat down next to Edgar, and was soon followed by James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. They crammed themselves into a booth that was not meant to hold six healthy teenage boys, and Edgar found himself pressed against the wood paneled wall.

"We couldn't help but notice your lack of dates," James said, as if to explain their presence.

"Unless, of course, you're actually seeing each other," added Peter. "In which case Blanche probably needs an explanation."

Edgar rolled his eyes. "And I can only assume that you're all dating each other, too?" Cheek was not something people expected of Edgar Bones, and James stared at him for a moment before laughing heartily.

Jared laughed along and took another drink from his mug.

"Stop that," said Sirius, snatching the mug away. "There are much better options available to you now."

"How did you manage to get firewhiskey?"

The four Gryffindors exchanged looks.

"James knows how to get into Rosmerta's storeroom," said Remus. "He leaves money for it, and Rosmerta turns a blind eye."

"She really likes you lot."

"Mostly Sirius."

"Isn't that always the case?" Sirius quipped.

"No," Peter said. "The woman in Zonko's only gave us that deal on the laughing vapor because she's partial to me."

"And everyone knows most girls only talk to you to get to me," James added cheekily.

"Not to mention the fact that we would still be banned from Hogsmeade entirely if McGonagall didn't like _me_ so much," said Remus.

"Two of you make convincing arguments," Sirius said, crossing his arms. "But James, mate, I think you need to get your head checked. One too many bludgers to the brain can make you delusional like that."

James made a face.

Sirius then took Edgar's mug, and produced four more from within his cloak. He set them next to Jared's on the table and began dividing up the firewhiskey between them.

"I really shouldn't," said Edgar, looking around uneasily. He was still underage, though his seventeenth birthday was less than a month away, and did not want to get caught drinking.

"Come _on,_ Bones," said James. "It won't kill you to live a little."

"I'm not exactly at liberty to do whatever I want," Edgar argued. "Unlike you lot, I have to worry about other people."

"No one's going to know," Sirius told him. "We charmed the bottle. If anyone looks, we're drinking butterbeer."

Edgar had his suspicions about that, but could also see that he was surrounded by Hogwarts students in the Three Broomsticks. There were no teachers or reporters or Ministry officials here to see him.

Slumping back in his seat: "Fine."

"Shouldn't you be more careful?" asked Jared. "There's a match tomorrow."

"And cheers to that," said James. "Besides, it's the middle of the afternoon. We've got loads of time to sober up before tomorrow morning."

Sirius distributed the mugs.

(Lies and Other Sins)

Lily and Clark pushed through the crowd outside Honeydukes. Having come from within, they wished to find a place to sit and sort through their spoils. However, before they were fully clear of the throng, something caught Lily's eye: four boys looking over their shoulders and they hurried down the alley that lead away from the village proper. They all had the hoods of their cloaks pulled up to shield their faces, but one walked with slouched shoulders and a sweeping gate that she would recognize anywhere.

"I'm going to pop down the street to see if Marlene needs saving from McLaggen yet," said Lily. "I'll only be a moment."

Clark nodded. "I need to run into Scrivenshaft's, need anything?"

"Thank you, no."

She walked in the direction of Madame Puddifoot's, wincing at the knowledge that Marlene might _really_ need saving, until she was certain her boyfriend was inside the quill shop. Then, she turned abruptly to follow Severus and the others.

Lily had never been to the Hog's Head, the other pub in the village, but she'd heard enough about it to know she did not want to go there. It seemed that was where the Slytherins were heading.

Pulling up the hood of her cloak, Lily hid behind the small potions shop across the street until the four boys entered the pub. She was about to emerge to look through the window when another figure hurried down the street in the same direction. She could not make out his face through the fog, but he entered the grungy building and pulled the door shut behind him with a definitive _snap_.

A moment later, Lily crouched below one of the the bay windows, peering through years of grime into a small, dimly lit room. She could make out of the flicker of candle stubs on the scrubbed wooden tables, only one of which was presently occupied.

Mulciber and Avery faced her, while Severus and the fourth boy sat with their backs to the window. The fifth and still unidentified figure was seated at the head of the table, his hood still pulled up to hide his face.

A strange buzzing filled her ears then and Lily knew it was no use. Even if she had been able to make out any of their words through the window, Severus's _Muffliato_ would protect them now.

She was not sure exactly why she had decided to follow Severus and the others. They weren't friends anymore. She had no obligation to him, and no right to know what he was up to. Yet, she was worried deep in her heart, and the little girl inside her still wanted to protect the little boy she once knew. Whatever this meeting was about, Lily knew it was not something she would approve of.

Shivering, the witch pulled her cloak more tightly around her shoulders. She did not have the time to wait for them to emerge from the pub, and so she headed back toward the main road that ran to the village.

(In the Hog's Head)

A clock's ticking was decidedly absent from the dank interior of the Hog's Head dining room, but Severus did not need to know the time to understand the importance of this moment.

The wizard conspicuously hid his face, but the mark under his left sleeve was undeniable.

 _Death Eater._

Lucius Malfoy told Mulciber that one of the Dark Lord's agents would be coming to Hogwarts, that he would reveal himself to them if they proved themselves worthy. Here he was, but they still did not know his identity. Severus narrowed his eyes.

"I'm here because I was informed you've each passed the initial tests," said the man in the cloak. He looked to them in turn, eyes stopping on Severus. "We are all particularly interested in the nature of _your_ curse, Snape. You've shown magical talent and creativity. You've done something that could be useful to us long term."

Severus kept his face neutral, though this surprised him. He'd seen Lily's mark as a cop-out. He'd done it, ultimately, to protect her.

"Lucius Malfoy would like a detailed list of instructions for this curse."

"I haven't perfected it yet," said Severus, frowning. "You have to touch the target to mark them, as it stands."

"We have people that can figure that part out for you. He wants them owled to him tomorrow."

Severus nodded.

"So," said Avery. "Since we passed our tests, does that mean we're in?"

Teeth flashed beneath the stranger's hood.

"Not yet. There is another test you must perform."

"What kind of test?" asked Mulciber.

"I can't tell you that."

The man paused, seemed to consider something, and then slowly, slowly lowered his hood.

Severus's eyes widened. Beside him, Regulus drew a sharp breath.

The Death Eater was the Auror. Dorian Rowle.

"You…you're…"

"Yes, Avery," said Rowle, a resting sneer on his lips. "I'm an Auror."

"How?" asked Regulus, speaking for the first time since they'd left the castle that morning.

"I was not with the Dark Lord when I became an Auror. Then, I saw the incompetence in the Ministry. The weakness of Muggle-borns and blood traitors. I realized that the Dark Lord was not some fanatic. He's a revolutionist with the right idea."

"And no one in the department knows?"

"As I said, incompetence. My partner suspects, but he won't do anything until he has hard evidence, which he will never get."

"What about your Dark Mark?" asked Severus.

"An illusion, to gain your trust. Due to the nature of my position, the Dark Lord saw fit to leave me without a Mark until secrecy is no longer necessary."

"So this next test—when will it happen?"

Rowle did not answer immediately, but studied each of their faces.

"You're all sure of this? You're sure of yourselves?"

"Yes."

"Then I must first report back to Malfoy to tell him that we can continue. I'll find you tomorrow with more specific information as to your final test."

They nodded, and there was a solemnity in the air. A candle stub flickered weakly on their table, and Severus knew that this moment was crucial. There was no turning back from this point. He was in, no matter what he had to do.

(On Severus Snape)

Severus Snape was thin. He had pale skin, long black hair, and a hook nose. He moved with subtle grace and always chose his words carefully. Severus was always that—careful—and yet when Lucius Malfoy first approached him about joining the Dark Lord, Severus had not thought twice.

Growing up in a divided household taught Severus that the only person he could truly rely on was himself, and so he needed to be powerful. He needed to be stronger so that his Muggle father wouldn't beat him, so that his mother would take him seriously. So that he could get out.

He'd learned from an early age to hate Muggles. His father was cruel, but he had written that off as a coincidence. Then, he'd met Lily and Petunia Evans, the former showed magical ability, for which the latter hated and feared her. Petunia was cruel, too, in her own way. She was ignorant and vain and insecure and she took it out on her lovely little sister. Mr. and Mrs. Evans, also Muggles, did nothing to punish Petunia, saying that she would grow out of this phase.

They were all jealous of Lily.

And why shouldn't they be? Lily was the vibrant sun in their dreary world. She was kind and intelligent and always looked for the best in others, even in Muggles. Even in Petunia. Part of Severus hated Lily for her forgiving nature, but all of him loved her for it too.

Severus Snape loved Lily Evans as much as one person could love another, but Severus, who had never had an example of love in his life, did not know how to act on his feelings. Rather than trusting her good judgment, he'd been controlling and possessive. He'd been jealous of her boyfriend, Clark Broadmoor, for earning Lily's affection. He'd been jealous of James Potter for earning her hatred. He'd been jealous of anyone who elicited strong feelings from Lily, because he thought it should be his place alone to do so. He hated that Clark and James loved Lily too. She was _his_. He'd seen her first. He'd been there for her when Petunia treated her badly. He'd been her shoulder to cry on, the person who told her to swing higher, jump farther—because she was a witch and she could do anything she wanted. He'd been the one to make her smile again. Neither Clark or James had been there for Lily in that way.

Neither of them had called Lily a Mudblood.

Severus wanted to be powerful to win her back. He wanted to be stronger than James Potter and Clark Broadmoor and anyone else that might fancy Lily. Severus would be the one to protect her from the Dark Lord. He would prove them all wrong.

He wanted to rid the world of Muggles like his father and Petunia Evans, so he'd said yes to Lucius Malfoy without hesitation.

(Liquor On Our Lips)

Hours later, Lily and Clark re-entered the Three Broomsticks to find and odd collection of people in the far back corner: Mary, Gracie, Marlene, Elliot McLaggen, Jared McKinnon, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Edgar Bones. All were in varied states of intoxication.

"Really? In public?" asked Lily, squeezing in between Mary and Marlene.

"What're you gonna do, Evans? Dock points?"

"I _should_ ," said Lily. "But seeing as you don't seem in a fit state to win them back in the match tomorrow, Potter, I suppose I won't."

"Prefects shouldn't play favorites, Lily," said Elliot McLaggen, and Marlene elbowed him in the ribs. Jared rolled his eyes.

"I don't see Edgar docking points from Ravenclaw," Lily countered with a smile. "I will when he does."

Edgar looked guilty, but said nothing.

"Glad ya don' give inna peer pressure, may-tah," said Sirius, throwing an arm around Edgar's shoulders. Lily had a strong suspicion that Sirius was the drunkest of the lot.

"Come on," said Jared, drunk enough to slur. "We hafta fin… _ish_ the round."

"What are you playing?" asked Clark.

Marlene grinned, and Lily knew the answer. "Cheers to the Governor, Marlene's favorite drinking game."

Clark looked confused, but Lily just nodded to others to indicate they should watch.

"Who messed up last?"

"Guilty," said Mary.

Edgar, on Mary's other side, said, "One."

"Holly…Holly…Head! Holly _head_ Harpies," said Peter.

"Sylvia Dearborn," said Remus, blushing.

" _Really_ Moony? Nice," said James, reaching across Sirius to high-five Remus, who returned it with a sigh.

Sirius, instead of saying anything, tapped his nose and pointed to Marlene, who rolled her eyes and took a drink.

"Five," said James. "Bor-ring. Nex' person should make a five rule."

"Xis," said Jared.

"Seven?" said Elliot. "Wait! Wait! I meant fourteen!"

"Too late."

"Damn it." With that, Elliot took a long drink as Marlene pouted.

"I was _so_ ready for the next one!" she said. "Anyway, my turn'a start. _One_."

"I am so confused," Clark said to Lily, who smiled.

"The point is to count to twenty-one. Each person says the next number. When you get to twenty-one, everyone toasts and says 'Cheers to the Governor!' and then the person who said twenty-one makes up a new rule. Looks like they've made 'two' a Quidditch team. Or instead of four, you point to someone and they have to drink. It ends when there's a rule for every number, but if someone messes up, you have to start over from one."

"So it's different every time you play?"

Lily nodded.

"That sounds hard."

"And a very easy way to get blind drunk."

"And you said this is Marlene's favorite?"

"Mhmm."

"She's crazy."

" _I_ want to know what the rule is for three," Lily said, looking at Remus with a raised eyebrow.

"You name somm'un you snogged," slurred Marlene, grinning.

Lily laughed. "'Nice' indeed, Remus."

After a few more unsuccessful rounds, Edgar looked at his watch.

"We should get going," he said. "Last carriage leaves soon."

Staggering, the others got to their feet. Mary put a hand on Lily's shoulder for support.

"I," she said, swaying a bit, "am _very_ drunk."

"Don't worry, loves," said Lily as Marlene, too, leaned on the redhead. "I'll whip up a hangover potion when we get back to the castle. Looks like you'll all need it."

"You're an angel, Evans," said Sirius, as he and Peter supported each other out the door of the pub. "Oh. It's raining."

And it was. Lily shivered. The others had a nice alcohol coat to keep them warm, and Marlene tilted her head back and laughed. Lily did not fail to notice that it was Jared, not Elliot, who watched the blonde with smiling eyes.

James threw an arm around Edgar's shoulders and they both stumbled into Remus. The three boys laughed, and Lily couldn't help but be thankful. Yes, James and Sirius managed to get her friends to drink in public underage, but now they all laughed together amid the darkness around them. Not only the gloom of the encroaching night, but the missing person posters, the warning signs, and the atmosphere of terror that lay as thick as fog upon the village.

"What're you smiling at, Evans?" James grinned at her as he helped Edgar steady himself.

"Not you, if that's what you're thinking."

"Seven words. As charming as ever."

Lily felt color rise in her cheeks and looked away. Clark's eyes were narrowed. _Not good._

"Let's get a move on, shall we?" she asked, half dragging Mary and Marlene down the street toward the carriages.

Dorian Rowle waited for them, a bored expression on his face.

"Cutting it a bit close, aren't we?" he asked, gesturing to the last two carriages. The hood of his cloak was pulled up to block the rain. Something about the image was familiar.

Lily stopped walking, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Li- _ly_ ," whined Mary. "Why'd you stop?"

"It's—it's nothing. Sorry." She helped her friends into the first carriage and tried to keep her face neutral under Rowle's gaze.

Dorian Rowle was the fifth man in the Hog's Head.

He'd been meeting in secret with the Slytherins.

Shit.

(The Next Day)

"Lily? You okay?" A hand waving in front of her face caught Lily's attention at breakfast.

"You haven't even touched your coffee," continued Alice, frowning. "What's up?"

They sat with Frank at the Gryffindor table, everyone dressed brilliantly in red and gold. The first match of the season took place today, and they were facing Slytherin. Excitement thrummed through the Great Hall.

Lily smiled and took a gulp from her mug. She'd been watching Rowle as he ate at the staff table.

"It's nothing."

Alice pouted. "You know I know that's not true. You look like you didn't sleep at all last night."

She hadn't, but Alice didn't need to know that.

"Gee, thanks, Al."

"I'm serious."

Lily sighed and put her mug down, just as Clark slid unto the bench beside her and kissed her cheek.

"Morning, Lils. Hey Alice, Frank."

Alice gave Lily a look that said "We'll talk later" and smiled at Clark.

"So who're you routing for today?" asked Alice.

"Lily would kill me if I didn't say Gryffindor, but as Ravenclaw captain I would rather face Slytherin. They'll be easier for us to beat."

"Wouldn't you rather have a challenge though?" Lily teased. "Isn't that how you get better?"

Clark shrugged. "You guys wouldn't understand, but I want the Cup. A Slytherin win today gets a closer to that."

"Sorry, dear, but Gryffindor's getting the Cup," Lily told him. "So you might as well focus on improving your game."

Clark tensed. "Are you saying Potter's better than me?"

Lily sighed. "Potter hasn't got anything in his head but Quidditch. You're more well-rounded."

"Nice save," said Alice, grinning.

"Yeah, yeah," said Clark. "Anyway, I'm heading down a little early. I'll see you at the pitch, okay?"

"Okay," said Lily.

"We're heading out too," said Frank, who served as match commentator. "See you later, Lily."

"Want me to wait for you?" asked Alice.

"No, I'll be along soon," said Lily. "I just want to finish my coffee."

Alice nodded and headed out. Most of the school followed soon after, and Lily sat staring into her cold coffee.

She'd been over it in her head a thousand times now, and she'd come to two possible conclusions: either Dorian Rowle was a spy for the Ministry, seeking out possible future Death Eaters at Hogwarts and reporting them back to the Auror department, or he was a Death Eater himself, at Hogwarts to recruit for Voldemort.

She wanted to believe the first option, for Rowle's sake, but Severus was not one to trust others easily. He would not have met with Rowle if there was a chance that he was really an Auror. Then there was the matter of Sev himself. In both of Lily's scenarios, Rowle was meeting with future Death Eaters.

Pushing her coffee away, Lily stood and pulled on her gloves. A few students still trickled out of the Hall and down to the pitch, and Lily joined them, arms crossed over her chest. She was almost to the pitch when something caught her eye: Sev.

He had his hood pulled up again, hands shoved in his pockets as he made his way away from the pitch and toward the Forbidden Forest.

It was a bad idea, to follow. But Lily didn't think twice about it.

(Swallow Your Tears Until You Choke)

It was dark under the trees, and Severus pulled his hood off once he was out of view of the students on the lawn.

 _Meet me in the Forest behind the pitch during tomorrow's match_.

The note had arrived as Severus had been falling asleep the night before. Avery and Mulciber had received them too, but he hadn't seen them all morning. He assumed they were already here.

He reached the clearing a little ways in and found Dorian Rowle standing there alone.

"I was hoping you'd be the first to get here," said Rowle. He turned to face Severus. "We have a problem."

"Which is?" Severus had his guard up, right hand clenched around his wand in his pocket.

"The Mudblood."

Severus's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"She suspects something."

His heart stopped for a full beat. "No—"

"I was surprised. I didn't think she'd be so clever. But she's onto me." Rowle was nonchalant, arm crossed loosely across his chest. "Is there anyway to retrace her steps with that mark of yours?"

Severus shook his head. "It only shows her current location."

"A pity. That's something we'll have to work on then."

"What makes you think she suspects you?"

"She gave me an off look yesterday in Hogsmeade, like she'd realized something. If I had to guess, I'd say she saw us going to the Hog's Head."

"There's no way she recognized you though. Didn't you put an anti-tracking spell on your cloak?"

"I did, but I wore the same cloak when she saw me at the end of the day."

"Still."

 _Damn it, Lily. Why can't you ever mind your own business?_ She would have been able to figure it out though. She was too clever for her own good.

"I know you're attracted to the Mudblood, but—"

"It's not that. There's just no way she would have figured it all out. For all anyone knows, you're an Auror. She'll trust you. Even if she did think it was you yesterday, she probably thinks that you're gathering information for the Ministry about people who have the potential to be Death Eaters."

"You really are pathetic, Snape."

The voice behind him caused Severus to jump involuntarily. He turned and his eyes widened in horror.

It was Avery, who had spoken, and Mulciber. Avery held a wand to Lily's throat.

"Sev, what's going on?" she asked. She didn't look scared, only angry as she struggled against Avery's grip.

 _Sev_ , she'd said. His heart ached suddenly for simpler times.

"Found her lurking in the woods, listening to you," Mulciber said proudly. "You really should learn to use your eavesdropping charm more often, Snape."

"Wh-what did you hear?" Severus half-whispered. Maybe she hadn't heard anything. Maybe they could let her go.

"Enough," said Lily, her eyes narrowed.

His hands shook in his pockets. Lily had never looked at him quite like this before. She'd looked at him with anger, with confusion, and with hurt. But now she seemed to understand something she'd never understood before, and she was looking at him with clarity and hatred.

"Lily—"

" _Don't_." She turned her eyes to Dorian. "And _you_. How could you? Dumbledore trusted you. The Ministry trusted you. How could you go over to Voldemort's side?"

Severus did not turn to see Rowle's face. He was too busy looking at Lily.

"It was a rather obvious choice. Most Mudbloods lack your fire. They are weak and undeserving of their magic."

"You're wrong."

"You're not really in a position to argue."

"Don't hurt her," said Severus quietly. He stood rooted in place, halfway between Lily and Rowle.

"Don't worry. I won't do any _permanent_ damage," said Rowle, and Lily's eyes widened slightly.

Severus's mouth went dry.

"And I'll obliviate her after. This will stay between us."

"You should make Snape do it," Mulciber sneered.

No. This was all wrong. His joining the Death Eaters was supposed to keep Lily safe. The mark on her wrist was supposed to protect her. He wasn't supposed to do anything else to her. It was supposed to be enough.

"An interesting idea, Mr. Mulciber," said Rowle, and Severus met Lily's eye. She was scared, but there was something else there. It might have been pity. "But that is something we will save for another time. Today will simply be a… _taste_ of things to come."

Avery pushed Lily to the ground, but before she even hit it, Rowle pointed his wand at her and shouted, " _Crucio!_ "

Her scream was lost in a deafening roar from the stadium.

(Lioness)

White hot and blinding, Lily's body contorted in a pain she had never known the like of before. If she screamed, she did not know it, for the ringing in her ears drown out all other sound. She convulsed violently, unable to move of her own accord.

Even death would be better than this.

The pain did not stop. It did not grow more intense, and she did not get used to it. Minutes or hours could have passed, but Lily was only aware of her own body, of each individual cell rebelling in agony. She did not know if she was still breathing, or if her lungs even remembered how.

The fact alone that her heart was still beating meant something. It meant she would survive to see the next minute of this.

But it also meant she would live to see beyond it. If her heart could handle this, it could handle anything.

She was vaguely aware of the pain receding. She opened her eyes, which she did not realize had been squeezed shut, to find herself lying on her side in the grass. Severus was on his knees a few feet away, his head down and his hands over his ears. Her brain felt clouded, and her body still ached more than she could comprehend, but one thought pushed it way through the fog.

 _Your wand._

She reached inside her cloak and gripped it. Rowle seemed to have stopped paying attention to her and was speaking to the other two boys in the clearing—Mulciber and Avery. Avery was pale and looked like he might be sick. Mulciber looked a little hollow in the eyes, but neither of them noticed her move.

" _Ex…expelliarmus,_ " her voice came out hoarse and cracked, but it was enough to disarm Mulciber and Avery.

Rowle turned, eyebrows raised. "You _are_ a fighter, aren't you? If you weren't a Mudblood, you'd be a useful ally."

He blocked her second disarming charm easily.

"Unfortunately, our time here is coming to end."

 _I'll obliviate her after._

The words came to her mind like an old memory from childhood—distant and quiet. But Lily knew what she needed to do.

 _Come on, Lily,_ she thought, clenching her teeth and clutching her wand. _You can do this_.

" _Obliviate_ ," said Rowle, and Lily focused all her willpower on one silent spell: _Protego._

(Wouldn't It Be Nice?)

When Lily opened her eyes, she blinked in confusion. She stared up into bright light and lay on something soft, but her body ached all over.

Sitting up slowly, Lily put a hand to her throbbing head and looked around.

 _Why am I in the hospital wing?_

"Lily! Thank _Merlin!_ "

It was Alice who spoke first, and others soon joined her, rushing to her side: Marlene, Frank, Clark, Mary, and Sylvia.

"What happened?" Marlene and Sylvia asked together.

"I—what?" said Lily, and frowned at the sound of her own voice. It was rough and low, like she'd been yelling. "What's going on?"

Marlene's frowned deepened. "You don't remember?"

Lily thought back. It was like swimming through mud.

"The last thing I remember is…is…Alice talking to me at breakfast?"

"Merlin, Lily," said Clark, sitting down on the bed and taking her hand. "It's five o'clock. That was _hours_ ago."

"Alice and I found you after the match," Frank explained. "She and Clark were worried when you didn't show up."

"And you were acting all weird and brooding at breakfast, so we thought something was wrong," said Alice, tears creeping into the corners of her eyes.

"Found me? Found me where?" Lily felt more awake now, but she still could not recall the past eight hours.

"Near the pitch. You were out cold and it looked like you'd been dragged there," Alice's voice broke and she sobbed once, a tear escaping down her cheek.

"You were breathing and your pulse was fine," Frank said. His face was pale. "But we couldn't wake you up, and we brought you here."

"Oh, Lily," whispered Marlene. She still wore her muddy Quidditch robes. Dirt smeared with dried tears on her cheeks. "We've been s-so worried."

Lily gripped Marlene's hand with the one Clark wasn't holding. "It's okay. I'm okay. I'm here."

"Everyone out!" Madame Minks, the healer, appeared then, hands on her hips. "Miss Evans needs rest."

"Really, Madame Minks, it's fine," said Lily. She didn't want them to leave her. They were the only solid thing she had right now.

But the healer remained firm, and told her her friends could come back tomorrow, one at a time.

Clark lingered long enough to kiss her forehead and give her hand a final squeeze.

Once they were cleared out, Madame Minks fussed about Lily's bed for a bit. She fluffed the pillows and muttered a few different spells over her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Everything hurts," admitted Lily. "And it feels like someone's been pulling memories out of my head."

Minks nodded, and turned when the hospital wing door clicked open. "I told you, no visit—Professor Dumbledore!"

The headmaster nodded and took a chair next to Lily's bedside. There was an urgency about him that Lily was unused to. "Miss Evans. How are you feeling?"

She repeated what she's said to Madame Minks.

"She's been cursed, that much is certain," said the healer. "Definitely a memory charm, and something before that, but it's unclear what."

Dumbledore pulled out his own wand and waved it over Lily, muttering. When he finished, his eyes were sad.

"I believe it to be the Cruciatus Curse."

"Wh-what?" asked Lily. _An Unforgivable Curse? At Hogwarts? To her? There's no way._ It suddenly felt like she couldn't breath properly.

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "It's the only curse that causes pain without leaving a mark, and it usually leaves the victim in pain for hours or days after it is used."

Lily swallowed hard. _Victim_. She hated the word, and yet it was all she could be as long as she did not remember what happened to her.

"Professor Dumbledore, who could have done such a thing _here_?" Madame Minks asked, a horrified expression on her face, as if she'd never considered it a possibility.

Dumbledore's face was hard. "We will find out."

He left then, and Lily stared down at her hands. There were scratches on her palms, as if she'd dug her own nails into them hard enough to draw blood. Madame Minks must not have noticed. She bit her lip.

"You've slept most of the day, but rest will do you good," the healer said gently, setting a potion down on the bedside table. "Drink this when you're ready. It will help you sleep. And if you need me for any reason, just call and I'll hear, okay?"

Lily smiled at the kind, gentle woman. "Thanks."

Madame Minks dimed the lights and went into her office and Lily sat in bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. She knew it was useless, but Lily felt that if she just tried hard enough, she would be able to break the memory charm and remember what had happened. She's been there. She'd lived through something. It simply didn't make sense that she couldn't recall the sun setting today.

"L-Lily?"

Her head snapped up at the sound of Severus's voice. She met his eye briefly and looked away.

"Hey, Sev."

"There was a rumor you were here," he said. He came into the room, but did not sit by her bed. "What…what happened?"

Lily shrugged. "I don't know." She didn't want to tell him what Dumbledore had said. She couldn't. Sev might be friends with the person who did it.

"You…don't?"

He looked paler than normal.

"No. Alice said she found me passed out, but I don't know what happened."

"Lily, I—" He took a step toward her, then seemed to think better of it, because he stopped and his hand, which had been outstretched, dropped to his side.

"I'm fine, Sev," she said. It wasn't really a lie. She was technically fine, physically, at least. Yes, her body ached, but that would go away.

He nodded stiffly. "I…I guess I'll see you then. You should get some sleep."

"Yeah. Thanks for checking on me, Sev."

He had been gone less than a minute when James Potter pushed through the door.

"Evans, I just heard. We were having a party in the common room and no one knew until Alice and Marlene came back. _Merlin_ , are you okay?"

Lily was stunned into silence. To see James Potter standing in the doorway—Quidditch robes as askew as his hair, an expression of fear she couldn't quite recognize on his face, and a strange sack grasped tightly in one hand—was suddenly too much.

To Lily's horror, she began to cry.

"Shit, Evans," said James, and though she could no longer see him, his voice came from much closer, and soon she felt a hand on her back.

Wiping tears away with the sleeve of her sweater, Lily glanced up to see James sitting in the chair beside her. He'd moved it close enough that his knees pressed up again the side of the bed. Lily took in all this very quickly, before burying her head in her arms atop her knees. The awkwardness radiated off him, but he did not pull away.

That sat like that for a long while, too long, in Lily's opinion, but the tears simply wouldn't stop. They came out with violent sobs that caused her whole body to tremble. James rubbed small circles on her back.

As her tears slowed, James's hand moved to her shoulder, turning her to face him. "What—"

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing here at this hour?" Madame Minks asked. Her hands were on her hips, but Lily could not make out her face through her tears.

"Er…" James articulated.

"It's fine, Ma-Madame M-Minks," Lily stammered, breathing deeply as she tried to control her sobs. "Please. It's okay."

The healer looked back and forth between them before nodding slowly. "Potter, she needs rest. Don't stay too long."

"Yes, ma'am."

James turned back to Lily, who was scrubbing her eyes with the edges of her sleeves. "What happened to you?"

"I—I d-don't _know_ ," Lily said for what felt like the hundredth time. "I don't rem-member. Someone obliviated me."

" _What?_ "

She looked up at him again. His hazel eyes were wide behind his glasses, his free hand clenched into a fist at his side.

"Yeah," she whispered, her voice barely audible. She paused for a long moment and he said nothing. Then, without really knowing why, she said, "Dumbledore thinks someone used the Cruciatus on me."

More silence, and Lily looked again to see his expression change rapidly. It went from confusion to horror to anger in less than a second.

"That's just what he thinks," she clarified, resting her chin on her knees. "It's almost worse that way—not knowing what happened. But…but when Alice and Frank found me, I still had my wand on me. So either that means I was disarmed and they planted it back on me before leaving, or I had it the whole time and couldn't manage to defend myself. Some witch I am, huh?"

"You don't have to make a joke, Evans," said James. His grip on her shoulder tightened slightly.

"I just don't want to be a victim," she said quietly, more to herself than to James.

"You're not, Evans," he said. "Whatever happened, I'm _sure_ you fought back. I mean, have you _met_ you?"

Lily smiled slightly. "Now who's making jokes?"

"Yeah well, mine are funny."

Lily rolled her eyes, but a smile remained stubbornly on her lips. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh." He picked it up from where he'd dropped it on the floor. "Food."

This elicited a laugh. "I should've known. In the world of James Potter, food cures all ills. Got anything good?"

He grinned and overturned the bag so the contents fell out onto the bed. It was mostly chocolate of many varieties. "Remus always gets the best stuff."

Lily dug through the contents until she found something she'd never seen before. "Chili pepper chocolate? Did Remus go to Honeydukes or Zonko's?"

"I didn't know what you liked." James shrugged. "It sounds pretty bad though, right?"

Lily unwrapped it and sniffed. "Ugh. Here. Take a bite."

"What? Why me?"

"Because my health is fragile right now, so I need you to be the test subject."

"Now you're playing the victim."

"Only because I want to see your face when you try this."

"You're evil."

Lily grinned at him and he took the chocolate bar, closing his eyes and biting into it. He chewed for about a second before coughing and swallowing hard.

"Who the _hell_ thought that was a good idea?" he said, pounding his chest as he continued to cough.

Lily chuckled, tears that were still close to the surface spilled over as she laughed harder and continued to laugh as James protested.

"Ah, Potter, thank you for that," she said, wiping her eyes. "And thank Remus for buying it."

"Bloody git," James muttered, but he was smiling too.

They were quiet for a long moment.

"You know," Lily said, wrapping her arms around her knees. "I feel like if I just try hard enough, I'll be able to remember. Is that crazy? Severus came to visit earlier and thought I got a flash of something, but I wonder if it was just me wishing that I could remember and not being able to."

"What was the flash?"

She did not (could not) meet his eye. Even now, it felt as though telling James Potter would be a betrayal of Severus's trust.

"Severus was standing in front of me, and there was someone behind him. I think we were in the Forbidden Forest."

"Do you…" James did not finish the thought, but he didn't have to.

"Do I think Severus did this to me?" Lily sighed. "Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore."

"Well…it's possible that you tried to defend yourself, and so maybe the memory charm wasn't as powerful as it should've been. Maybe you _will_ remember. It might just take some time."

Lily nodded.

The door to the hospital wing opened again and Celedor Jane and Dorian Rowle entered then.

"Dumbledore just told us what he knows," said Celedor. "We came to ask you for your side of the story."

"He said you don't remember anything," Rowle added, his voice ringing strangely in Lily's head. "We wanted to make sure."

 _I'll obliviate her after._

Lily's heart stopped in her chest. It was as if through all the mud of her memory, some small bit was surfacing.

 _I'll obliviate her after._

Rowle's face became clear over Severus's shoulder then. They _had_ been in the Forbidden Forest.

"I don't remember anything," Lily said quickly. "The last thing I remember is eating breakfast with Alice, then nothing. Dumbledore says someone used a memory charm on me."

Rowle studied her face closely, and Lily tried not to meet his eye.

"How are you feeling?" asked Celedor. "Potter's not bothering you, I hope?"

"He's fine," said Lily. "And I feel okay. I kind of hurt all over."

Celedor nodded. "Dumbledore suspected it might be the Cruciatus, and if Madame Minks didn't find any marks of a curse, he might be right."

Lily nodded. "I know. They told me all this already."

"Do you think this conversation could wait until tomorrow?" said James, standing up to face the Aurors. "Ev—Lily is tired, and Madame Minks wants her to rest."

"You're right," said Celedor. "We simply wanted to make sure she is all right."

"Of course she's not all right," James snapped, and Lily's eyes widened. "She's lost half a day and might have had an Unforgivable Curse used on her! You'd have to be thick to think she's all right."

"Potter—James—it's okay," said Lily, reaching out and tugging on his sleeve until he sat back down. "They're just trying to help." She turned to the Aurors. "Come back tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course." And they left.

"Evans—"

"Wait," said Lily. She held up a hand to keep him from speaking and listened until she could no longer hear their footsteps in the corridor. "I remembered something."

"What?"

"When Rowle came in, that flash I had with Severus got clearer. He was the man standing behind Sev, and he said 'I'll obliviate her after.'"

James made to stand up again, but Lily grabbed his sleeve.

"You're just going to let him walk away?"

Lily rolled her eyes again. "And what are you going to do? Fight him?" James grumbled something and crossed his arms. "We need to wait and talk to Dumbledore. Maybe I'll remember more by tomorrow. That bit alone really isn't enough to prove anything."

"Do you think he's a Death Eater? Rowle?" James asked softly.

Lily swallowed. She thought about everything she knew for sure. Severus and Rowle were in the Forest. Rowle or Severus used an Unforgivable on her. Severus was sympathetic with Voldemort's cause, and would probably join them if given the chance. She'd had a bad feeling about Rowle from the start. "Yeah. I do."

James nodded. "Okay. I believe you. You have to tell Dumbledore. He needs to know, even if that's all you can remember."

"You're still here?" Madame Minks asked, her head popping out of her office. "Miss Evans needs rest! You have five more minutes, Mr. Potter."

"Okay," said James. "I'm leaving."

He stood, moving the chocolate from on top of the blankets to her bedside table.

"Hey, Potter?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Yeah, well. Don't get used to it."

"I can never figure out whose seven words are more romantic," teased Lily. "You and I are neck and neck for abysmal."

James laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Romance was never really my forte."

"Truer words have never been spoken."

"Quiet, you."

They laughed again and James shoved his hands into his pockets as he turned to leave. "You should drink that potion," he said, nodding to the one Madame Minks left on the table. "You don't want to dream tonight."

"Yeah, I will."

"Night, Evans."

"Goodnight, Potter."

He left and Lily lay back on her pillows, exhaling and staring up at the ceiling. James Potter had made her feel better than anyone all day.

"What the hell?" she said aloud.

(Mostly Failing)

The victory party was still going strong in the common room, but James returned to the dormitory and cracked the window as he lit a cigarette.

 _Dumbledore thinks someone used the Cruciatus on me._

He took a drag. Fog obscured the stars, as it had the sky all day. It was always like this—her voice planting itself in his head, not leaving him be.

 _Some witch I am, huh?_

Someone had attacked Lily. Probably someone who supported Voldemort. Probably the same person that put that Mudblood mark on her arm.

 _I want to see your face when you try this._

What James didn't understand is why someone would go after Lily. Yes, she had made it clear that she believed Muggle-borns deserved equal rights (and they did), but she'd never hurt anyone. She'd never done anything to anyone to make her a target.

 _I feel like if I just try hard enough, I'll be able to remember. Is that crazy?_

She'd looked so fragile, sitting there on the bed in the hospital wing, and somehow still so strong. She'd been through so much that anyone else would likely rather forget, but she would rather remember.

 _Potter—James—it's okay._

And she'd bloody comforted _him_. Rowle was standing right there and all Lily wanted was for James to let it be. He would've beaten Rowle to a pulp if she'd asked it, but she didn't want to make things any worse.

 _I can never figure out whose seven words are more romantic._

Fucking hell.

He exhaled, staring at the glowing orange tip of his cigarette as the paper delicately burned away.

She hadn't asked him to leave. In fact, she'd told Madame Minks that she wanted him to stay (well, not in those words perhaps, but the meaning was the same). She'd _thanked_ him for being there. These were not the actions of someone who loathed his very existence.

Perhaps it was the fact that he'd managed not to do something entirely idiotic tonight, as he usually did when she was around.

 _Hey, Potter._

She'd gone back to his surname though, after using 'James' just once.

"Bollocks," James muttered, breathing out more smoke. He was turning into such a girl, sitting on the windowsill brooding about the person he fancied.

"Prongs?"

"Hey, Moony."

Remus came in and sat on Peter's bed, which was the closest to James's perch.

"What happened? I saw you talking to Alice and Frank and then suddenly you were practically running out of the common room."

James did not answer immediately. He finished his cigarette thoughtfully before turning to the other Marauder.

"Evans. She was attacked during the match. She's in the hospital wing."

" _What?_ "

James relayed the story of his visit to Lily, leaving out the bits he didn't much feel like sharing. _James._

"But she's not hurt? She's going to be all right?"

"Eventually, yeah. I think the thing that bothers her most is not remembering."

Remus nodded. "That sounds like Lily."

The two Marauders were quiet. James stared out the window, too caught up in his head to really see anything beyond the glass.

 _Potter—James—it's okay._

James Potter spent the summer trying (and mostly failing) to forget about Lily Evans.

But she'd never called him James before.

Fuck.

* * *

 **A/N:** Only the half bottle of wine I consumed before posting this gave me the courage/idiocy to do so. It's very _meh,_ as far as I'm concerned. I can't look at it anymore right now; I'll go back and copy edit again later. But, as always, let me know what you think.

Tumblr: waterrbender

I made a Jily playlist that I listen to while I write, which can be found on tumblr.

Nous sommes tous français. Mon cœur ne pense qu'à Paris.

Gwen


	6. Learning to Breathe

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

 **Previously:** Blanche Faraday is a Sixth year Gryffindor who doesn't return to school at the start of term because her brother was killed in an attack on Diagon Alley. She is dating Edgar Bones. Her best friend, Gracie, is falling for Edgar. Lily is attacked during a Quidditch match, but has her memories removed. Lily suspects Severus Snape and Dorian Rowle to be a part of the attack, and tells James Potter of her suspicions. Gryffindor wins in Quidditch against Slytherin. Jared McKinnon and Marlene Penn are childhood friends.

 **Chapter Six: Learning to Breathe**

Prior to August of 1976, Blanche Faraday lived a rather charmed life. Her family was Pureblood and wealthy and remained utterly off the map in all matters of political intrigue or social scandal.

Blanche herself was politically minded. She read _The Daily Prophet_ each morning at breakfast, listened to talk radio while she did her homework, and attended fundraisers and protests whenever time permitted (though there were times when she felt like she did it because it was expected of her, rather than any real interest in the cause). She did her best to remain politically correct in every situation, even when she had to lie through her teeth.

Once upon a time, she'd viewed Voldemort as nothing but a wanna-be candidate for Minister.

Sorted into Gryffindor at the age of eleven, Blanche was successful in every intricate aspect of a school that spanned from the preteen to 'of-age' years in the wizarding world. Her grades were good, her friends spectacular, and her skin blessedly skipped the zit-ridden phase of the early teens.

Blanche Faraday had never had her heart broken.

She'd broken a few herself, though.

Petite and put-together, Blanche had tanned skin and straight blonde hair that fell just above her shoulders. Big hazel eyes were the centerpiece on a perfectly symmetrical face, also sporting a thin nose and lips worthy of a cosmetics ad.

She'd dated Edgar Bones, son of the Minister for Magic, since fourth year, and just about anyone would claim that Blanche and Edgar were _at least_ fifty percent of the reason they believed in true love. They were the kind of couple that everyone assumed would get married as soon as they left Hogwarts. Blanche thought that sounded rather nice.

On a sunny day in August of 1976, Blanche and her family wandered aimlessly about Diagon Alley. They'd completed their shopping lists (Blanche's for sixth year, Eli's for second) and were considering popping into Fortescue's for ice cream before heading home.

They were nearly there when people began to scream.

Blanche remembered her father grabbing her arm and pulling her out of the street along with her mother. Eli, her younger brother, was left in the street for a moment alone, and as her father was rushing back out to bring him along, the cobblestones beneath Eli exploded.

Blanche's father was thrown back into the alley where she stood with her mother, and Blanche's mouth fell open of its own accord. She was not registering what had happened. Surely the smoke would clear and Eli would still be standing there.

" _Eli!_ " her mother screamed, running out into the street, followed closely by her father. More explosions could be heard further up the street, but the source of the attack remained hidden by the cloud of dust that settled around them.

Blanche tried to follow her parents, but stumbled and fell, scraping her knees and hands on rubble that had blown into the alley.

She remembered looking down at her hands, which were bleeding, and her mind simply going blank. It was as if she were a marionette and the puppet master had put down the strings. She couldn't move, couldn't think. Everything became suddenly and violently surreal.

People screamed still, but that seemed arbitrary when, above it all, she could hear her parents sobbing out her brother's name somewhere among the debris.

Blanche didn't know it then, but this was the moment her heart first broke. It would continue to break, pieces cracking and crumbling away, in the weeks to come. But this was the initial, definitive _snap_.

She pushed herself unsteadily to her feet, coughing as smoke filled her lungs, and stumbled forward toward her parents' voices.

Whenever one hears of the death of a child, it's told in as peaceful a way as possible, to spare those who listen. Blanche did not know what she expected, but when she finally found her mother, soaked in blood and clutching what remained of Eli—half of his head and the greater portion of his chest—she fell to her hands and knees again and vomited.

Her father looked as though he'd found Eli and sank to his knees in despair, unable to get any closer, and he remained a few feet away from Eli and her mother, staring blanking, uncomprehending.

Soon the only sounds in the streets of Diagon Alley were the mournful wails of mothers, children, and husbands as they clutched dead loved ones close to their chests, and the sound of retching as bile continued to force itself up from Blanche's stomach.

The smoke cleared, but Blanche kept her head down, unwilling to look at anyone else. And the damned sun still went on shining.

The Aurors arrived then, far too late.

Someone side-along apparated her to St. Mungo's, where she sat numbly among the others. The dead were taken elsewhere, and her mother clutched at the empty air with hollow eyes and bloody hands.

None of them spoke for twenty-six hours.

The Healers tried to give them food, but no one ate. They _scourgified_ everyone's clothes, but Blanche could still have vomit crusted onto her shirt and would not have cared. The Ministry officials came to gather information for a report, but the most they could do was take memories and review them in their Pensieve. No one was willing to put the event into words.

The first utterance among them was so insignificant and small that it seemed wrong it should be spoken at all. "Pass the _Prophet,_ would you?"

Blanche made the front page, though she did not recall the photo being taken. She watched as a tall, dark skinned Auror lifted her to her feet. Soot covered her face and arms and her knees were bloody. Her eyes stared blankly out under the angry headline _Death Eaters Attack Diagon Alley: 11 Confirmed Dead._

Dead.

It wasn't real. It couldn't be.

At the funeral a week later, her mother still had blood beneath her fingernails.

(Finding a Foothold)

Dumbledore did not give condolences as Blanche sat in his office in mid October, and she was glad of that fact. She'd received enough of those to fill several books. They didn't do any good.

He, instead, gave her her schedule and informed her that the teachers would only expect her to know information starting now, but the material she missed might still show up on her N.E.W.T.s next year.

The elves had already brought her trunk up to the dormitory, and Blanche departed the headmaster's office just before the lunch hour.

Edgar and Gracie stood in the corridor, and Blanche couldn't have said who was hugging her first when she stepped off the last stair. She knew they would be there. She'd known it and yet finding them there still caused her eyes to burn.

The three were silent for a while, standing there, holding onto each other.

Neither Gracie nor Edgar spoke the words, "It's going to be okay." The phrase had battered her heart bloody over the past month—whispered from the lips of the well-meaning, shouted by those who did not know what else to say. Gracie and Edgar were blessedly silent, but for the first time since Diagon Alley, Blanche felt it. It _was_ going to be okay. Not in the conventional definition of the word, and certainly not any time soon. But 'okay' could simply mean breathing properly again, maybe laughing without feeling guilty, and going a day without thinking of how she might have saved her brother, had she only made a few calculatedly different choices.

She pulled away and looked up at them, one to the other. They looked back with fragile eyes, as if she might shatter under their gaze. But instead, some of the cracks in her soul began to mend.

They walked toward the Great Hall, all three of them together. Edgar had his arm around her shoulders and Gracie linked one arm through hers.

Heads turned at their entrance and whispers broke out, but Blanche could tell from the tone that most were not unkind. They all sat at the Gryffindor table. Marlene Penn entered a few moments later, accompanied by Alice Shields and Mary Macdonald, and the three girls took the seats across from them. In a strange bout of normalcy, Blanche inquired after Lily, who usually lunched with Marlene.

The girls explained the events of the past few days, assured her that Lily would be out of the hospital very soon, and began to catch Blanche up on the month she'd missed at Hogwarts. The little dramas—Lily was back together with Clark; Marlene had had a date with Elliot McLaggen; Mary fancied Thaddeus Capper—helped immensely, however trivial.

Blanche took a breath.

'Okay' still seemed out of reach, but she felt as if she'd finally found a ladder.

(Meanwhile, Gracie)

Gracie stood against the wall facing the gargoyle that guarded Professor Dumbledore's office, her hands clasped tightly together in front of her. A few feet away, Edgar shifted back and forth, his nerves grating against her own in a way that might have been unpleasant, had he been anyone else. Instead, this mutual discomfort served as a bond.

Neither had said a word when they came flying down opposite corridors and halted outside of the headmaster's office a few moments before. Blanche was supposed to return at noon. Edgar and Gracie both wanted to be there to meet her.

And yet, Gracie did not know what she would say to Blanche. She had not seen her friend since Eli's funeral, and then there had been little time or desire to speak. Her own growing feelings for Edgar were not helping the matter. She knew that falling for him was as pointless as locking an open door, and yet she could not stop herself from doing so.

He cleared his throat and her heart beat faster. Gracie let out a frustrated breath at the lot of it. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to any of the three of them. It wasn't fair that she felt, rather than saw, the sideways glance he threw at her. It wasn't fair that that was the most they could do: glance.

The gargoyle leapt aside and the stairs reappeared and Blanche descended. She was thin and pale, her eyes like steel and broken glass together. Without thinking, Gracie rushed forward and threw her arms around her friend. Edgar did the same, and soon they were all clinging to each other and fighting tears.

And it didn't matter that love was unfair. What mattered was _friends forever_ , however naïve such a promise might be. What mattered was the fact that there were men in the world who killed twelve-year old boys and created an atmosphere of terror in a place that was once happy and care free. What mattered was what she could do to fight against the fear.

So she took a breath.

Edgar had one arm around her back, the other clinging to Blanche, and though for all the world she wanted to stay, Gracie was the first to pull away. Silently, she linked an arm through Blanche's, and the three made their way to the Great Hall, ignoring the stares and whispers that clung to them like frost.

They sat down and were soon joined by Marlene, Mary, and Alice, and the three girls helped start conversation at last. They didn't talk about what happened, and that seemed good for Blanche, who had likely thought of nothing but Eli in the month since his death. Gracie knew she needed to get out of her own head and help Blanche readjust to school. Having someone else to focus on would surely help her forget about Edgar.

She hoped. And that was the most she could ask of her heart.

(And Proud of It)

"No."

The lie came easily to Lily's lips when Celedor Jane asked if she remembered anything more from the previous day. She _did_ remember something—the faces of Severus Snape and Dorian Rowle somewhere in the forest.

Dorian Rowle—Jane's partner. An Auror.

She couldn't accuse him of attacking her. It would simply be her word against his, and that would likely not end in her favor. Lily would wait until she could speak to Professor Dumbledore. He would believe her.

Rowle stood a few paces behind Jane, watching Lily with a neutral expression on his face that Lily would have once considered indifference. Now it seemed like forced disinterest. He was hanging on her every word, knowing they might soon tie into a noose.

"May I see your wand, Miss Evans?"

"Sure," Lily said, taking it from her bedside table and handing it to Jane.

He took his own wand and tapped it to hers. " _Priori Incantanto._ "

Lily did not know the incantation, but soon her wand began to emit a silvery glow. It formed a wispy shield around her for a moment before dissipating and being replaced by a flash of red led, followed closely be another.

" _Expelliarmus_ ," Jane muttered. "And _Protego_. You fought back, it seems."

"Unsuccessfully," Lily told him.

"I wouldn't say that," Jane argued. Lily liked him. She wanted to trust him, but if Rowle was his partner and he had not noticed a Death Eater under his own nose, she wasn't sure. "If the Shield Charm was used against the Memory Charm, then your memory could still return."

Lily watched Rowle out of the corner of her eye, but he made no indication that these words threatened him. This gave the witch pause. Perhaps her memory was false, and Dorian Rowle was not, in fact, responsible for what happened to her.

 _I'll obliviate her after._

Or maybe her Shield Charm worked. Lily felt a headache coming on.

"We've determined that the incident occurred in the Forbidden Forest," Jane continued. "There was mud on your shoes consistent with that of the trails there. Any idea why you might have gone into the forest instead of to the match?"

 _I was following Sev._ Lily thought, and the surety of it surprised her. "No. Maybe I…I don't remember. Do you have any idea who did this?"

Jane shook his head. "We've searched the portion of the Forest near where you were found, but either the attack happened somewhere else and you were brought near the pitch by your attacker, or the attacker is immensely skilled in hiding his tracks."

 _Because he's an Auror._

Lily simply nodded.

"We think the attack might be connected with the mark on your arm," said Jane, and Lily pulled her sleeve down. "It's likely the same person. Perhaps someone you trust, and they are doing this to you without your knowing. Is there anyone, _anyone_ you think _might_ be capable of this?"

"No," said Lily. "Not someone I trust, at least. Or I wouldn't trust them in the first place."

Jane seemed to understand. "We'll be leaving then. We'll keep looking. If you think of anything, please let us know."

"I will."

The Aurors left together, and Lily enjoyed a brief moment alone.

She still didn't remember fully anything that happened the day before, but flashes continued to come back to her. Lily remembered an arm around her neck and a wand at her throat, Mulciber hissing something in her ear. She remembered Severus on his hands and knees on the ground.

Lily hugged her knees to her chest and studied the mark on her wrist— _Mudblood_.

When she first became a part of the wizarding world at the age of eleven, it had seemed like a dream. A beautiful, perfect dream. The bad things back then were forgetting homework and getting detention. She never would have thought that five years later she'd be sitting in a bed in the hospital wing as a war bubbled up like boiling water around her.

Even knowing this now, though, she wouldn't trade this world for the other. It was an odd sensation, loving something so much in spite of the colossal darkness inside it.

The word repeated over in over in small letters around her wrist had not faded since it first appeared, and somehow, Lily found it reassuring. Prejudiced people with ugly hearts would hate her for what she was. They would hunt her and torture her. She knew it, and it gave her resolve. She wouldn't slink away in defeat, back to the Muggle world, and she wouldn't let the word hurt her.

Lily rolled her sleeves up to the elbow. Rowle (or someone) had made her a part of this war, and they were going to regret crossing her.

(Resolve, Part Two)

Marlene poked absently at her food. The others had left the Great Hall for class, but Marlene had a free period. She couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Lily, and it made her sick.

"Hey, Marlene, can I join you?"

To Marlene's surprise, Hufflepuff Thaddeus Capper stood beside her. "Oh, um, sure."

A smile broke out across his face and he slid onto the bench beside her. Marlene studied him out of the corner of his eye: average height, blonde hair that stuck up in every direction, and bright blue eyes. He had a nice smile, and Marlene could understand the crush Mary harbored for the bloke.

But he was sitting here with her. Marlene suppressed a groan.

"What's up, Thad?"

He poured a goblet of pumpkin juice and took a long gulp.

"I just noticed you were sitting alone and thought you'd like some company is all."

"Thanks."

Marlene was rather used to this. She was pretty and she played Quidditch and boys liked her for those facts. Usually, the attention was nice, but she was not in the mood for it today, and she was particularly against flirting with Mary's crush, even if Thad was unaware of his distinction in that regard.

"You all right? You seem down."

Marlene resisted the urge to roll her eyes. _He doesn't know. He's being nice._ "I'm fine."

"You played great yesterday, by the way. That catch was _brill_."

"Thanks. It's easy when we're playing Slytherin."

"I know what you mean." He grinned at her and Marlene gave him a half-hearted smile in return.

Jared appeared then, and sat across from Marlene without bothering to ask if he could join them. His black and gold tie was undone and he looked like he hadn't slept well.

"Hey Marlene, hey Thad." He served himself a slice of ham, but didn't start eating right away. "How's Lily?"

"She's okay. Shaken up, you know, but Madam Minks thinks she'll be fine."

"What happened to Lily?" asked Thad, looking back and forth between them.

Marlene knew Lily didn't want the news of her attack spreading around the school if she could help it. Before she could think of something to say, Jared answered, "She's in the hospital wing. Ate something foul at the victory party last night for Gryffindor."

"Oh," said Thad, and Marlene couldn't help but grin behind her hand. "I'm not surprised, with Black and Potter in charge of those things."

"Yeah, I'm feeling a bit queasy myself," said Marlene.

"I'll walk you to the hospital wing if you want to get a tonic," said Thad.

Jared looked back and forth between them then, as if he suddenly realized the strangeness of Thad eating lunch with Marlene at the Gryffindor table.

Marlene shook her head. "It's fine. Actually, Jared promised to help me with my… uh, Transfiguration essay during our free period. You ready, McKinnon?"

Jared choked on his pumpkin juice. "Er…"

"I just need to run up to my dorm to grab my bag. You coming?"

She stood and smiled at Thad. "Thanks for sitting with me. See you around, yeah?"

"Oh," said Thad, looking a bit put out. "Sure."

Jared, at last, caught on. He stood and followed Marlene out of the hall, saying, "I didn't even get to finish lunch…"

"Sorry," said Marlene, when they stopped in the Entrance Hall. She ran a hand through her long hair and sighed. "I just wasn't in the mood for that today, you know?"

"Yes," Jared said and rolled his eyes. "Attention from the opposite sex is _so_ irritating."

"Sarcasm noted," said Marlene. "Besides, Mary kind of fancies him."

"Mary kind of fancies everyone."

"Not true. She talks to most people. She can't speak to blokes she fancies."

Jared shook his head and chuckled. "That bird is strange."

Marlene laughed too. "She nearly passed out when Thad asked to borrow some parchment the other day. I mean like white-in-the-face-can't-speak-properly. It was incredible."

"What did Thad do?"

"Thanked her for the parchment." Marlene shrugged. "Mary _swears_ he laughed at her, but I don't think he even noticed."

"Probably too busy looking at you," Jared teased, elbowing her in the ribs.

Marlene groaned and put her face in her hands. "Don't say that."

"Aw, come on. It's not that bad. You know how Mary is. Next week it'll be Remus Lupin or someone."

"I know. But it still feels wrong, you know?"

Jared shrugged and the pair made their way out onto the grounds. Without consciously deciding to, they headed toward the lake. It was a chilly day, but the sun shone brightly overhead and glistened on the black surface of the water. Marlene crossed her arms over her chest and kicked idly at a stone; Jared shoved his hands in his pockets. They stood together, looking out over the lake for a long while in silence.

"Thanks for not telling Thad about Lily."

"Of course," said Jared. "You told me in confidence. It's not my secret to tell."

Marlene nodded. "I'm worried about her. I know she's going to try to blow it off and act like it's not a big deal, but there's a… a _war_ now. And this is part of it, you know? It's finally touched us here."

She could feel his eyes on her face, but kept her gaze on the water.

"It was only a matter of time, I guess," he said. "Before it got to us, I mean. This…this Muggle-born hate and blood purity stuff isn't going to go away if we ignore it. And we can't hide here at Hogwarts forever."

Marlene's eyes snapped to his, blue and familiar. There was a light there she'd never seen before. "You sound like you want to do something about it."

His cheeks turned faintly pink and he looked down. "I do. I don't know what, but I can't just…just sit and pretend that it's not happening."

"Do you think you'll go into the Ministry?"

"The Ministry isn't doing anything."

"Then what?"

Jared shrugged. "I don't know. But _something_."

"Yeah…me too."

Jared raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah. I don't know what exactly either, but after what happened to Lily, and you know…Blanche and everyone, surely something will start. Something needs to be done. Voldemort and people like him can't be allowed to do things like this."

"And if no one starts fighting back?"

"Then we'll have to start something ourselves, won't we?"

"…Yeah, I suppose we will."

(On Jared McKinnon)

Jared McKinnon was of average height and build. He had a mop of curly brown hair that he hardly bothered trying to control and deep blue eyes. He was a Hufflepuff and quite proud of that fact, and wore his house colors even when out of his uniform. He had no siblings and lived with his divorced father next door to the Penns, with whom he spent most of his time.

Jared considered himself a jack of all trades. He enjoyed sports, but did not play on the school Quidditch team. He excelled at art, and liked to draw and paint immensely. He was a decent cook, a fair repairman, and a tinkerer of all varieties.

People described him as happy, and he usually was. Jared liked to see the positive side of things, and his friends admired him for it. He rarely said a negative thing and was the type of person to go to for a pep talk.

Jared McKinnon fell in love with Marlene Penn when they were thirteen.

It wasn't a conscious thing at first. He'd known her his whole life and they'd always gotten along famously. But one day she'd been sitting across from him in the library, working on her homework even though she was horribly sick. She had her hair pulled up and clutched a blanket around her with one hand and wrote with the other. And looking at her, it hit him that he'd been falling for her for some time, and even three years later, that image of her made him smile.

He wasn't anywhere near good enough for her.

At least, that's what he thought. She was stunning and smart and athletic, and he was just a Hufflepuff who was good at everything but great at nothing. She was even taller than him. She outclassed him in every imaginable way. So he told himself that he would be content to be her friend, until he was good enough. And he would be, whatever it took.

(The First Mission)

Lily drummed her fingers on the open textbook in front of her, but Charms simply couldn't hold her interest in the face of the chaos crashing around in her mind.

Images hung like dreams just outside the grasp of her memory, teasing her. There were faces: Severus, Rowle, Mulciber, Avery. That much she knew, but the sequence of events wouldn't align itself properly. It was like knowing the words to a song and forgetting the tune.

What she wanted, what she _needed_ , was concrete proof that Rowle had been there. But if Jane hadn't found any, Lily didn't expect to either.

She cupped her chin in her hand, propping her elbow up on the book, her other hand still drumming incoherently on the surface.

The door to the hospital wing opened a moment later to reveal Clark. He was dressed for Quidditch practice and carrying flowers.

"Hey, Lily, how are you feeling?"

"Not spectacular," she told him honestly. "Better than last night."

He put the flowers on the bedside table, but did not comment on the chocolate and wrappers scattered across it. When he didn't sit down, Lily knew this would be a short visit.

"So do you…you know…remember anything?" he asked.

He looked like he really didn't want to know the answer, and Lily couldn't blame him, so she simply said, "No. I don't." And the relieved look on his face didn't go unnoticed.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" asked Lily. "None of this is your fault."

"I know, but I'm sorry this happened to you."

"Yeah. Me too. But it's done with now."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "That's my brave Gryffindor. I've got to get to practice. Will I see you tonight?"

"Madam Minks _might_ let me out in time for dinner," said Lily. "She hasn't made any promises though."

Clark nodded. "Practice might run late. If nothing else I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah."

He took his leave and Lily sat there, staring after him.

She wouldn't make excuses for him. Clark was avoiding talk of the war. Lily wasn't angry about that fact, but it didn't please her either. She was a part of the war no matter what; she'd been dragged into it. Clark, on the other hand, was pureblood, and much better equipped to ignore it altogether.

When Madam Minks entered the room later that evening, Lily had made no leeway on her homework and asked if she could go to dinner.

"Well…"

"Please?"

"Oh, all right. But if you notice anything—bruises, a headache, _anything_ —you come straight back here."

"Deal," said Lily. She gathered up her things, tossing them haphazardly into her bag, and hurried out of the hospital wing. One could only spend so much time there before needing a change of scenery.

She was halfway down the corridor when a voice called out behind her.

"Evans!"

James Potter and Sirius Black stood in the hall wearing matching looks of pride and mischief. Lily rolled her eyes, but retraced her steps to stand in front of them.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret having the conversation?"

"You know us well, Evans," said Sirius. "But this is something you're going to like."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "And what is 'this' exactly?"

The boys glanced around the corridor to ensure they were alone before James announced, "We're breaking into Rowle's office."

"What?"

"You heard the man." Sirius crossed his arms and smirked.

"I _heard_ him, but I'm not sure I want to believe him. And, Potter, I thought it was implied that you shouldn't repeat what I said yesterday."

James grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I know, but Marauders' Code, and all that." He rubbed the back of his neck and Lily shook her head. She couldn't really be angry with him for telling his best mate that she suspected Rowle. Lily likely would have done the same thing if the circumstances were reversed.

"Right."

"Anyway, want to hear our plan?" Sirius asked.

"Do I?"

"You do."

"Fire away then."

—

An hour later, Lily crouched in the broom closet across from the Auror's temporary office, rolling her eyes at the fact that this was never going to work. She glanced at her watch, a minute to eight. Sirius should be arriving any moment. James crouched beside her and Lily tried not to think about the fact that, after years of asking her out, he'd finally managed to drag her into a broom cupboard.

Footsteps alerted her to Sirius's presence outside their hiding place, and he continued to walk by, heading toward the staircase.

A deafening crash shook the floor overhead.

She heard two doors fly open as Rowle and Jane exited their rooms.

"What was that?" Jane demanded.

"Dunno," came Sirius's voice. "It sounded like the next floor up."

He took off then, toward the noise, and two sets of hurried footsteps followed him.

"Come on," James whispered, and they exited the broom closet and ran into the office.

It was more of a repurposed classroom, Lily noted when they entered. The desks had been taken away, but the blackboard and bookcases remained. There was a table strewn with books and quills and ink, and a screen hid a bed and trunk.

"Glamorous," James muttered. "Come on. Let's start with that trunk."

"Don't you think he'll have it guarded?"

"Probably."

When they reached it, Lily couldn't detect a magic barrier, but that worried her all the more. Rowle was likely skilled enough that they wouldn't know about the spell until it hit them.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Lily asked, whispering even though there was no one else around. James bent down to examine the heavy iron lock.

"Not sure. Something out of place. Something that connects him with the Death Eaters."

"Do you really think he'd bring something like that under Dumbledore's nose?"

"He might not have had a choice." James shoved his wand unceremoniously into the lock and recited a spell Lily had never heard before. The lock clicked open and James slowly lifted the lid of the trunk.

"How—"

"I'm good at getting into things I shouldn't."

However, it appeared that there was little to find within the trunk itself, as it contained only a few changes of clothes. Digging around among them, Lily found an old photograph of a girl smiling and waving up out of it. She wasn't sure what to think about that, so she shoved it back inside without comment. James lifted the mattress off the bed frame.

"Nothing under here."

"Let's try the table."

Reports of Lily's attack were stacked in a neat pile next to various scraps of paper containing half written thoughts. Most of them seemed to have something to do with the mark on Lily's arm, but that was not particularly suspect, as that was why the Aurors came to Hogwarts in the first place.

Soft footsteps outside the door made her freeze.

Before she knew what was happening, James dragged her into a corner and threw something overtop of them, crouching down so the shimmery material reached the floor. But it didn't make sense. Lily could see right through it.

"Stay still and don't make a sound," he breathed, much too close to her ear for comfort. But she did as he said. And instant later, the door pushed open, but it was not Dorian Rowle who stood there. It was Severus Snape.

Lily's breathe caught in her throat.

He walked in, an annoyed expression on his face at finding the room empty, but he made no indication that he could see Lily or James at all, even though they stood directly across from him. Then it hit her. _An invisibility cloak_. She'd read about them, but never seen one in person. She could only hope Potter's was good enough to hide them from an Auror if Rowle decided to return.

Severus seemed to debate as to whether he should stay or go, and was heading toward the door again when Rowle stalked in, pulling what looked like oversized leeches off his arms.

"Bloody teenagers," he growled to himself.

Severus raised an eyebrow coolly, but Rowle did not explain further. Instead, the older wizard removed the last of the leeches and sat down heavily at the table.

"You went to see the Evans girl last night."

Severus didn't deny it.

"Did she remember anything?"

"No."

"She cast a silent Shield Charm before I obliviated her. We found that out this morning. She's still claiming not to know anything, but it's better if we stay away from her for the time being. We don't want anything to trigger her memory."

Severus nodded curtly. "Is there anything else?"

"That was your first experience with the Cruciatus Curse, wasn't it?"

"Mine and Avery's, yes," said Severus. "Mulciber's seen it before."

"But none of you have ever performed it?"

"No."

"That is something we'll have to work on. Your reactions were…disheartening."

 _Severus on his hands and knees in the grass beside her. Weeping. Avery vomiting. Mulciber's white face and hollow eyes._

The memory made Lily's head swim, but she forced herself to focus on the conversation occurring in front of her.

"We'll get used to it," Severus assured him, and Lily thought she might be sick.

"You will, or you'll be of no use to us."

Snape nodded and turned to leave, and James prodded Lily in the back, snapping her out of her thoughts. She understood his silent command immediately. They had to leave with Severus. They had to get through the door before it closed behind him or they would be trapped in this room with a Death Eater.

Lily's heart pounded too loudly for her liking, sure that it would alert Rowle to their presence as she took a careful step forward. James kept the cloak firmly in place around them, but a misstep could easily get them caught.

When they reached the door, Lily was inches from Severus's back. She nearly gasped when he turned around and stared right at her.

"What is it?" asked Rowle.

Severus's eyes moved back and forth, seeing only empty air. "Nothing," he decided, and made his way out with Lily and James on his heels. The door clicked shut behind them, but neither made a sound until there were several corridors between them and the office.

James pulled the cloak off of them and Lily breathed a shaky sigh of relief.

"That was _entirely_ too close," she said, running her hands through her hair. She knew the mark on her arm would reveal her location to Severus, and she could only pray he hadn't thought to check it after leaving the office.

"Rowle's a traitor," James said, more to himself than to her.

"We have to go to Dumbledore," Lily told him.

James snorted. "Yeah? And how are we going to prove anything?"

"It doesn't matter. He just has to know. Even if he doesn't believe us, he can look into it on his own."

They stood in silence for a minute.

"Did you really cast a silent Shield Charm?" The look on his face told her he was impressed and trying to hide it. She smirked in spite of herself.

"They checked the last spells my wand performed, and _Protego_ was the last thing I cast. Maybe that's why I've been getting flashes back."

"What did he mean about their reactions to the Cruciatus being disheartening?" James asked. He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied her face. His gaze was piercing, and Lily crossed her arms and shrugged, looking at the floor as she answered.

"Snape cried. Avery threw up. Mulciber got all white in the face. I guess they expect future Death Eaters to be more comfortable seeing people in pain."

Hurried footsteps down the hall made them jump, but soon Sirius, Remus, and Peter rounded the corner, relieved looks crossing their faces when they saw James and Lily.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

"The distraction we planned worked perfectly," said Peter. "But then Rowle looked at his watch and ran off and then you were stuck in his office and Snape was there and we didn't know what to do."

"How did you know we were in there with Snape?" asked Lily.

"Long story," James and Remus said together. Lily decided she didn't really want to know.

"What _happened_?" Sirius repeated.

"It was Rowle that cursed Lily," James explained. "Said as much to Snape. We were under the cloak and we heard the whole thing."

"Bastard's a Death Eater then?"

"As far as we can figure, yeah."

"We need to tell Dumbledore," Remus said.

"I'll go," Lily said, her own words surprising her. "I'll go talk to him. I can tell him I remembered the attack."

"But—"

Lily cut James off with a look. "Better than telling him we blew up a corridor, attacked an Auror, and snooped around in his room."

They could not deny this fact, and grumbled their agreement. They started walking back toward the Gryffindor common room. The last stragglers from dinner and the library were making their way through the castle, and Lily was glad to have others in the corridors.

They were nearly at the portrait of the Fat Lady when Peter said, "I wonder how he's managed it, Rowle. How has no one noticed what he's up to in the Auror department?"

"Bezoar," was the only response, and the Fat Lady swung open at the word.

The common room was crowded, so before they could disappear, Lily turned to the boys.

"Er," she started awkwardly. Remus was the only one of them she truly called a friend, but they had all jumped to help her tonight. "Thank you. All of you."

Peter grinned. "We've gotta stick together, you know. Dumbledore can talk all he wants about house unity, but first we've got to start with each other, right?"

Lily smiled back at him. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. And you're all pretty useful in sticky situations, I'll give you that. _Where_ did you get that cloak?"

The gleam in James's eyes was unmistakable. "That's a secret. It's bad enough you know we have it now."

"That _does_ take some of the mystery away."

"But none of the fun," said Sirius, winking.

"You will go to Dumbledore, won't you?" asked Remus.

"Tomorrow, yes," said Lily. "First thing."

"Good."

"Anyway," she said, spotting Marlene watching her from across the room. "I should get going. We're getting weird looks, you know?"

"What? Potter and Evans having a civil conversation?" said Sirius. "They probably don't believe their eyes."

"I don't really blame them," said Peter, laughing. "I thought James had finally lost it when he said Lily agreed to our plan."

"Thanks again, seriously. That was really solid of you," she said, giving a final smile before heading to join Marlene by the fire.

"What was _that_ about?" asked the blonde.

"I ran into them on the way back from the hospital wing," said Lily, unsure why she was lying to her best friend. "They were actually being nice for once."

"Probably because they just pranked the pants off the Aurors," said Alice, sliding into a seat on Marlene's other side. "Didn't they mention it?"

"They said something about blowing up a corridor?" said Lily. It was for the best they didn't know about Rowle. Not yet. If word spread before it got to Dumbledore, Rowle might disappear before they could do anything to stop him.

"More than that, the way some fourth years are telling it. Sounds like a right flood. It was all cleaned up before most of us could see anything, but apparently Rowle left _livid_."

"Yikes."

"So how are you feeling?" asked Marlene, and she and Alice stared at Lily intently, waiting for the answer.

"Okay," she told them, and frankly, that was all she felt like saying. She didn't want to tell them that she feared going to sleep for the dreams she might have. She didn't want to tell them that the hollow part in her heart where Severus used to be was now brimming with fiery rage. She didn't want to tell them that a Death Eater lurked within the walls of the castle. She didn't want to tell them how bloody tired she was because then they would fuss over her and mother her and she wasn't in the mood. "I feel okay."

Marlene, at least, seemed to see that there was more to it than that, but she made no further comment. Instead she swung an arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Oi!" Alice said after a moment, sitting up. "Blanche is back, did you hear?"

"No!" said Lily. "When?"

"Today, earlier."

"How is she?"

"Trying to be normal," said Marlene. "I think it's good for her, being here."

Lily nodded. "Is she up in the dorm?"

"Probably. Shall we go see?"

When they entered the dorm, it was to the sound of "Love Me Do" on the turn table, and Lily smiled in spite of herself. Blanche always played _Please, Please Me_ when it was her turn to choose a record, and were it not for Lily's protection charm, the old record would be scratched beyond playability after all the years of use.

Blanche, Gracie, and Mary sat on Blanche's bed, passing a bottle of wine and a bag of Honeyduke's Cocoa Nibs between them.

"So then Peter goes charging down the corridor," Mary was saying, laughing. "And Sirius is right on his heels, but Peter turns a corner at the last second and Sirius's jinx hits McGonagall!"

Blanche and Gracie were laughing too, and Lily recognized the story from a few weeks prior.

"She's so surprised that she doesn't move at first," Gracie continued as Mary melted into a fit of giggles. "And her hair turns into these really horrid tentacles sprouting all out of her head. She looked like Medusa! And Sirius is so stunned he can't do anything but stand there with his mouth hanging open."

"What did she _do_?" Blanche gasped, her eyes wide.

"She gave Peter detention, but she got rid of her tentacles and returned the favor. Sirius couldn't get rid of them for days. It was incredible."

"It _was_ ," Marlene agreed, squeezing in next to Mary and popping a handful of Cocoa Nibs into her mouth. "He couldn't control them and they would start hitting him in the face during class and he couldn't make it stop."

Lily and Alice went to sit on Gracie's bed across from them, laughing at the memory.

It was good to all be back together under the same roof once more. Blanche had changed irrevocably; Lily could see it in her face, in the way her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. And she imagined after the past few days, she'd likely changed a lot herself. But the demons they had to face could wait until the morning.

(Obsession)

In a deeper part of the castle, Severus Snape lay awake in his bed in the Slytherin dorm, Lily's screams ringing in his head.

 _That's something we'll have to work on_. Rowle had said. He didn't understand. It wasn't the Cruciatus Curse that bothered him. It was the fact that it was Lily Evans on the ground, twisting in agony. It was the fact that he couldn't protect her, not the way he wanted to. Not when he was just a lackey.

He closed his eyes, but all he saw was her face, the blank look that passed over it before she lost consciousness to the Memory Charm.

Grunting, he opened them again. This was the third night in a row. He wondered if he'd ever get that image from his mind.

He would prove himself to Rowle and all the rest, and then once he gained favor with the Dark Lord, Lily would be his. He would protect her then, like he could not protect her from Rowle. She would be his to keep safe. His alone.

(Hope)

Not far away, Jared McKinnon lay on his back, staring up at the curtains above the four poster bed in his dorm, thinking. He'd meant what he said to Marlene by the lake. He wanted to make a difference and do something to stop the violence against Muggle-borns. The Auror department was a force to be reckoned with, but they had to jump through many Ministry hoops before they could get anything done.

Something needed to be done outside of the Ministry. He didn't want to call it vigilante justice, but that seemed like exactly what the world needed right about now—people who didn't have hoops to jump through or protocol to follow. Sitting up, Jared began to compose a thought, or a whisper of one. He rose and went to his desk, and before properly realizing what he was doing, he was composing a letter to a friend in the Auror department, a Hufflepuff of years past, who'd expressed his own disdain for the ineffectiveness of the Ministry against the growing threat of Voldemort's followers.

He would have to wait until morning to make the trek to the owlery, but to have the idea written down, even it was half-composed and hardly coherent, was enough to put his mind at ease for the time being.

Hufflepuffs weren't known for their bravery, their intelligence, or their nerve, but the _were_ known for their perseverance and their hope against all odds. Jared didn't know what the coming days or months or years would bring, but he knew that even this crazy idea of his could be the start of something big, and Jared was brave enough and clever enough to hope that it would make a difference.

He crawled back into bed with an image of Marlene in his head. She was standing by the lake, a faint breeze lifting her hair off her shoulders and blowing curls in her face. She looked at him with all her Gryffindor fire that afternoon, wanting to fight like he did though neither of them really knew what that would mean. He didn't want her dragged into the war. He couldn't dream of facing it without her.

He groaned and pressed a pillow over his face. He'd felt this way about her for so long, but couldn't bring himself to tell her. Marlene was afraid of commitment. What if she hated him for it? What if she never wanted to see him again? His heart had dropped into his stomach today, seeing Thad flirting with her at lunch. He hated that feeling. He hated that Thad was brave enough to do what he could not.

 _But she didn't want Thad_ , said a small voice at the back of his mind. _She left the Great Hall with you._

Circles. He knew he was going in circles. He just had to man up and tell her how he felt.

He sat up once more, head swimming and heart pounding slightly too fast.

"Tomorrow," he said aloud. "I'll tell her tomorrow."

"Go to sleep, McKinnon," Thad grouched from the next bed, and Jared resisted the urge to throw something at him.

Tomorrow.

* * *

A/N: Jared McKinnon is my spirit animal.

As always, thank you so so so much to those of you who have sent in so many lovely reviews! They truly make my day and keep me writing. I hope all is well.

Gwen


	7. Silly Love Songs

**Previously:** Dorian Rowle (an Auror at Hogwarts) attacks Lily with the Cruciatus Curse, and then wipes her memory of the event. However, Lily cast a shield charm in time to weaken the Memory Charm, and so the Marauders help her sneak into Rowle's office to find out the details of what happened. There, Lily and James overhear Rowle speaking to Snape about the event. Mulciber and Avery were also present when he cursed Lily, and Rowle is recruiting the three of them and Regulus Black to be Death Eaters, but they still have another, yet undisclosed, test to perform first. Blanche Faraday returns to school after being gone for a month after the death of her brother in an attack on Diagon Alley. Lily is dating Clark Broadmoor, who broke up with her in fifth year because he was jealous of her friendship with Snape, but the two got back together at the beginning of sixth year. Jared McKinnon and Marlene Penn discuss how they want to do something to fight Voldemort, and Jared sends a letter to Caradoc Dearborn (a Ministry Hit Wizard and brother of Lily's friend, Sylvia Dearborn) with an idea for how Hogwarts students can help. Lily meets Emmeline Edwards (Vance) at a Slug Club party, and Emmeline invites Lily to be a part of the Magical Equality Coalition. Jared fancies Marlene and wants to tell her. Thaddeus Capper, Jared's fellow Hufflepuff, also fancies Marlene, but Mary Macdonald fancies Thad. So that's a bit of a mess.

A/N: I wanted to mention here that the James-Snape-Whomping-Willow incident canonically is thought to occur at the end of Fifth year. However, for the purposes of this story, it has not yet occurred and will do so during their Sixth year instead. (Just in case anyone was wondering why it hasn't been talked about).

 **Chapter Seven: Silly Love Songs**

Lily's demons didn't wait until morning. They came crawling back in the dead of night.

" _I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her."_

 _The words were far off, here, all she could hear was "Crucio!" and the sound of her own voice screaming to die. Looking up, Severus held his wand pointed at her face. "Mudblood, Mudblood, Mudblood. Crucio!"_

 _Hands wrapped around her throat, her wrists, squeezing tighter and tighter. She choked, gasping for breath but unable to draw it. Severus disappeared, but his manic laugh still pierced her mind. And then it was dark; the pain and the laughter and the voices didn't stop._

" _I'll obliviate her after."_

" _Crucio!"_

Lily gasped and shot up in bed, clawing at her throat where the hands had gripped her. It was dark, but the voices were gone and she was surrounded by the familiar curtains of her four poster.

Breathing hard, Lily sat there for a moment. Tears she must have shed in her sleep wet her cheeks, and Lily brushed them away. Her hair stuck to sweat on her neck and forehead, but a chill washed over Lily and made her shiver.

Her heart was still pounding, and she left the confines of her bed to get a drink of water. She stopped when she saw a figure sitting at the window.

"Blanche?" Lily whispered, tiptoeing toward the blonde. The light from the moon illuminated her face. She'd been crying too.

"I—" she started, her voice breaking as Lily sat beside her. She was unable to go on and shook her head instead, biting her lip and looking pointedly out the window to hide the glassiness in her eyes.

Lily didn't push, and the girls maintained a silent vigil at the window until the pink light of dawn crept like a rolling fog over the horizon.

(Truth, or Something Like It)

Lily could feel the sluggishness in her steps as she made her way to the headmaster's office. A night without sleep was doing her in, but she vowed she'd speak to Professor Dumbledore before she allowed herself to go to breakfast.

"Pepper Imps," she told the gargoyle, remembering the password McGonagall have given all those days ago.

The stone statue didn't move.

"Damn," Lily muttered. She hadn't considered that it would change.

"Miss Evans? What are you doing here?" It was Professor McGonagall, walking down the hall toward her briskly.

"I, er, wanted to speak to Professor Dumbledore." She tried to keep the urgency out of her voice.

"I'm sorry, Miss Evans, but the Headmaster was called to the Ministry this morning."

Not good. "When will he be back?"

"He didn't say. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Lily considered it. "It's just…I remembered what happened to me during the match."

McGonagall's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "We'll alert the Aurors."

"No!" Lily said loudly. "It's just uh…I'd rather talk about it in private."

McGonagall nodded. "Come with me."

They made the journey to the Transfiguration professor's office in silence. When they arrived, McGonagall sat behind her desk, looking older than Lily had ever seen her. With an exhale and a long look at the prefect, the professor awaited Lily's tale.

So Lily told it, framing it in a way that made it appear that she remembered the things Dorian Rowle spoke of to Severus the night before. And some of it she did remember, other things she had to guess at.

She left Severus out of it completely.

Another silence followed her story and McGonagall pushed a tartar tin across the desk toward her.

"Have a biscuit, Evans."

"Er."

Unperturbed by Lily's hesitance, McGonagall went on. "It's difficult accusation to believe, and will, I am certain, be met with animosity from the Auror department. Rowle is a trusted member in their ranks, and they will not respond kindly to anyone questioning in his honor."

"But—"

" _But_ ," she cut Lily off. "No system is infallible, and I shall warn Alastor Moody of your accusation immediately. Do either of the Aurors know of your suspicions?"

Lily shook her head.

"Good. It should remain that way until Alastor and Professor Dumbledore can decide how they wish to handle the situation. I shall see to it that Rowle is kept sufficiently distracted until then." There was a faint gleam in her eye, and Lily felt the corner of her mouth twitch into a slight smile.

She left the office feeling hopeful. If Rowle was made to leave the school, then the Death Eater presence would be gone. Mulciber and Avery were hardly a threat, especially since the most harm anyone had managed to do was the mysterious posters at the beginning of the year. And Severus…well, Severus she could deal with. She wasn't afraid of the little boy from the playground.

It was ironic, she noted, that by trying to figure out the Mudblood mark on her arm, she'd unwittingly brought the danger to the school herself. At least Rowle hadn't hurt anyone but her.

Lily reached the Great Hall and headed for the Ravenclaw table, seeking Clark. She needed to tell someone what McGonagall said. Spotting him quickly, Lily slid onto the bench beside him.

"You're out of the hospital wing!" he said, grinning and kissing her. "Brilliant!"

Lily nodded. His friends had tactfully turned to each other to give the couple some space, so Lily motioned her boyfriend to move a little closer.

"I figured out what happened to me," she whispered. "It was Rowle all along. I've just come from telling McGonagall."

Several emotions flickered across Clark's face before he settled on concerned. "Are you sure? How did you figure it out?"

Lily told him about the Marauders' plan and what she and Potter had seen the night before. Like with McGonagall, she left Severus out of the telling. Her boyfriend's concern turned to gentle anger.

"You know how I feel about James Potter," he said, frowning.

"And you know that you have nothing to worry about," Lily shot back. She'd been expecting this reaction. "He offered to help and I was too curious to turn him down. Now I know what happened to me."

"Why did you want to know, Lily? Most people would consider the memory charm Rowle used on you to be a gift. You shouldn't have gone seeking answers when you didn't have to."

Lily faltered. She hadn't been expecting _that_. "Of course I had to. Someone attacked me on school grounds. For all I knew, he'd do it again. I couldn't just let him get away with it."

"You could have left it to the Aurors. That's why they're here."

"One of the Aurors was the person that did it," she whispered harshly. "I suspected him and no one believed me. I had to do something."

"Potter believed you," Clark growled.

Lily had had enough of his jealousy, though. So she narrowed her eyes and said, "Yes. James Potter believed me when my own boyfriend wouldn't."

"Lily—" He reached for her, but she pulled away. "You're mad at me."

"You're being a prat."

"Is it really so wrong of me to be angry when my girlfriend goes to another bloke for help? A bloke who fancies her, for that matter?"

"I didn't go to him. He came to me with an offer that I had to take. If you'd been more willing to listen to my suspicions, then maybe I would've come to _you_ before he had the chance. But you haven't really wanted anything to do with the situation."

He looked down at his hands. "I was just hoping that you would never have to remember."

Lily softened at that. "I understand why you would want that for me, I really do. But you need to understand that I couldn't let it go when the person who did it was still in the castle. I don't want it to happen to anyone else."

"I know," Clark admitted. "You're too good for your own good."

Lily laughed at that, and the air was easy again between them.

(Recruits)

"You all right, Prongs?"

"Huh?" James shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts as Sirius prodded him with a fork.

Sirius, who had not missed the conversation James had been watching, nodded to the couple seated at the Ravenclaw table. "You got really quiet when they stopped fighting."

"Just…thinking," James answered lamely. He shrugged and tried to focus on his breakfast.

"Riiight."

"Shut up, Padfoot."

Remus made a disgusted noise from across the table, and Sirius broke off his reply to James too look at him. "What's up, Moony?"

"Werewolves." Remus put the _Daily Prophet_ down in front of him and stabbed it with his finger accusingly. "The Death Eaters are recruiting werewolves. And the werewolves are desperate enough to agree."

"They're recruiting Purebloods, too," Peter said. "But not all Purebloods are joining. Just because the Death Eaters are seeking them out doesn't mean they'll all go over to Voldemort's side."

"But werewolves have already been turned out by society," said Remus. "They don't have anything better than Voldemort's offer. It says here that he's willing to make them full citizens when he…takes over the Ministry."

"First of all," James said. "That doesn't make one jot of sense. Voldemort wants a pure world. There's no way he'll make an exception for werewolves. Likely, he'll use them and then kill them when it's all over. Second, he's not taking over the Ministry any time soon. I'm sure werewolves won't even consider joining until he gets closer to that goal."

"And third," added Sirius. "Why are they printing this in the _Prophet_? It's like an advertisement for Voldemort's offer."

"I don't think the people at the _Prophet_ care about much other than printing news that will get them more subscribers," said Peter with a shrug.

"What about your mum?"

"She's an editor. She doesn't write any of the stories or decide what gets printed." Peter shrugged again. "Even if she did get to decide, she probably wouldn't do things much differently."

They finished their breakfast quietly, each resigned to his own thoughts, and James's frown deepened just slightly when Lily Evans left the Great Hall with Clark Broadmoor's arm around her shoulders.

(Spark)

 _Jared,_

 _Good to hear from you! How are you, mate? It's been ages. Things around here are chaotic, mostly, what with the growing number of deaths and disappearances we're facing. I'm glad though, to be here doing something._

 _A dueling club, huh? Not a bad idea, really. It would have been nice to have something like that while I was at Hogwarts. I've sent a letter to Rory. Professor Penn, I mean. That's weird. I mentioned your idea and told her that we'd be happy to send Aurors to help whenever they're available (which isn't often, unfortunately). Jane and Rowle are there now though, so they might be able to spare some time to help. It would be for the best if students learn how to really defend themselves in a fight. DADA is great and all, but they have to teach so much theory so that you can pass your N.E.W.T.s that there isn't enough time for much real practice._

 _My concern would be (and I hate to say this but it's true) the future Death Eaters that are no doubt at Hogwarts right now. The Death Eaters have been recruiting younger and younger, and we're nearly certain they're going for people as young as you lot now. We wouldn't want any of them to attend a dueling club and learn your strengths and weaknesses. That's the most obvious issue I brought up in my letter to Rory, and hopefully she'll be able to come up with a solution to the problem beyond not letting Slytherins attend. We don't want to further any prejudice. And they aren't all bad anyway._

 _I'll be in touch—speaking of, have you heard about the Magical Equality Coalition? My cousin Wes is helping to start it. It's all about peaceful protesting of Voldemort's hatred of Muggles and Muggle-borns. The first meeting is in London in November. You should come. Wes said he's spoken to Dumbledore about allowing students to attend._

 _Hope all is well. Give Sylvia my best._

 _Doc_

(Expectations)

Lily was unsurprised when Professor Penn paired her with James Potter in Defense. It seemed as though she'd been unable to escape him recently.

"I'm guessing you haven't done the assigned reading yet?" asked James, sliding into the seat Marlene had just vacated beside her. "What with being in the hospital, and all."

Lily didn't really want to admit to him that she hadn't done her homework, but it would do no good to lie to him, so she gave him a sheepish smile.

"No worries," he said with an easy shrug. "I read, so I can write the history portion of the essay. It'll be easier for you to write about the effects. The section on that was shorter."

He flipped open his textbook and dipped his quill in ink without another word.

Lily just looked at him.

"What?" he asked, without looking up from the sentence he was scribbling.

"No dig? No snarky comment about Perfect Prefect Evans not completing an assignment?"

James _did_ look up at that. His eyebrows pulled together, forming a little crease over the bridge of his glasses. "Evans, you were in the hospital wing after being attacked by a Death Eater. _Why_ would I insult you?"

"It's just…" Lily's cheeks reddened at her assumption. "It's just never stopped you before, you know? You usually don't miss an opportunity."

James's face hardened slightly. "Sorry to disappoint."

"That's not what I meant. I was just surprised."

"Maybe you should change your expectations."

Lily frowned. "Look, Potter. You've done some really solid things this year, don't get me wrong. I appreciate you believing me and helping me yesterday. But it doesn't just completely erase the last few years. My expectations are pretty deep-seeded."

James put down his quill, essay forgotten. "And what are those expectations exactly?"

"Insults and inconsistency," Lily answered honestly.

"Inconsistency?"

"Yeah. Sometimes you do things like break into Rowle's office with me, or stick up for someone when no one else will. And then other times you hang Severus upside down by his ankles and threaten to take his pants off in front of the entire school, or treat me like I'm scum for being friends with him. Sorry if I don't tend to expect the best of you."

She'd held his gaze as she said it, but as soon as she finished, she looked down at her hands on the desk, feeling a little exposed.

"You _were_ an idiot for being friends with Snape though," said James. "And no one else seemed to care enough to bother telling you."

"Marlene _told_ me that it might not be the best idea," said Lily. "Alice, and Remus, and Mary, and Clark all _told_ me that. You _shouted_ _it_ every chance you got and tried to argue and hex me into believing it."

"Well I was right, and you didn't want to hear it. He was _there,_ Evans. He was there when Rowle used an Unforgivable Curse on you and he didn't do _anything_. If you'd listened to me—"

"If I'd listened to all of you I still would have followed him into the forest yesterday. Even if I weren't friends with him. I would have followed him."

" _Why_?"

"You wouldn't understand," she told him quietly. And he wouldn't. He wouldn't understand anything about the little boy in a tattered smock who'd found her on a playground and pieced all the mysteries of her life together. He wouldn't understand that Sev had given her magic. That he'd been there when Petunia started to hate her for it.

"Try me." The look on his face was equal parts a challenge and a promise, and Lily felt her defenses cracking at the edges.

"How's it coming?" Professor Penn's voice broke them out of their conversation. She stood beside James, having made rounds throughout the class.

"Fine," Lily and James answered together.

"Good. There's about ten minutes left."

The professor left and Lily flipped quickly through her textbook. "Damn it."

"You're not getting out this so easy," James said softly, going back to his own half of the essay.

"Seven words I didn't want to hear," Lily muttered.

She didn't see the small smile that tugged at the corners of James's mouth.

(You'd Think People Would Have Had Enough)

Lily made a point of keeping several steps ahead of James on the way to double Potions. Not only did she want to avoid the conversation they'd started in Defense, but she also did not want Clark to see them together. She'd argued enough for one day and it wasn't even lunch time.

Her boyfriend greeted her brightly, any resentment that remained from breakfast was either well-concealed or nonexistent. They entered the dungeon together and took the seats they'd claimed on the first day of class. Even in the recent semi-make-up with Severus, Lily had remained Clark's Potions partner, and today she was very glad of that fact. She wasn't sure how she would face Severus now, knowing he'd been there, knowing he'd done nothing, knowing he was the one who'd branded her a Mudblood. She had to go on pretending she didn't remember anything, and it would be so much easier as long as she could avoid Severus altogether.

She took comfort in the fact that he was avoiding her, too.

When Slughorn set them loose to begin brewing a Befuddlement Draught, Marlene approached their table.

"Hey guys," she said, tugging at a blonde curl. "Clark, would you mind terribly if I borrowed Lily today? I'm dreadful at Potions and Black doesn't care enough to try. I need a decent grade or Slughorn is going to put me in remedial lessons."

"You owe me, Penn," said Clark, but Lily knew he didn't really mean it. She watched her boyfriend cross the room to take the vacant seat next to Sirius, who looked a bit put-out at the change.

"You do realize your remedial lessons would likely be with _me,_ don't you?" Lily teased as Marlene tried and failed to split open a rashvine seed.

"Yeah, with a bunch of second years," said Marlene. "I'm not up for that kind of humiliation."

"It's not _that_ bad. Thad Capper's been to a few of the lessons."

"Then that would just create a whole different problem."

"What?"

Marlene made a face. "I think Thad might fancy me."

"Oh," said Lily, understanding immediately. "And Mary fancies Thad."

"Yeah. And it's not as though I fancy him back or anything, but this is just all too familiar. I don't want to do this to her again."

Lily took the rashvine seed from Marlene's shaking hands and slit it easily with her knife. "What makes you think he fancies you?"

"He came and sat with me at lunch yesterday out of the blue," Marlene said. "And I keep feeling him look at me. And I can't tell him I'm not interested because of Mary, because that isn't really fair to either of them."

"You're a good friend, Marlene," Lily told her, dropping the flesh of the seed into her bubbling cauldron. "Hopefully Thad is too."

"What was that?"

Lily smiled knowingly at her friend, who was still blindly unaware of the massive crush Jared McKinnon harbored for her. If Thad was anywhere near as loyal as Marlene (and he was a Hufflepuff, so surely he was loyal), then he wouldn't act on any feelings for Marlene unless they were overwhelmingly strong.

"Oh, nothing," said Lily, rising from her seat to retrieve a few extra seeds from the cupboard.

The rest of the class passed easily, though Lily could feel James's eyes on her throughout the lesson. She pointedly avoided meeting them. By the time they were released to lunch, Lily was nearly asleep on her feet. Deciding to return to the dormitory for a nap, she bid goodbye to her friends and headed up the stairs.

A letter awaited her.

 _Lily,_

 _I hope this letter finds you Quidditch-free, or at least in a better mindset about the blasted sport._

 _As promised, this is an official invitation to become a part of the Magical Equality Coalition. Our first meeting will take place at the Leaky Cauldron in London on Sunday, November the fourteenth at two o'clock in the afternoon. You don't need to bring anything, we're just going to be talking for the most part, getting to know everyone, etc. It should be fun. Elphias will surely have a bit too much to drink (even though it will be the middle of the afternoon), and that is an experience everyone needs to have at least once in their lives._

 _Westley (My fiancé, I don't remember if we discussed him in our brief meeting at Slughorn's) already sent a short list to Dumbledore of students we would like to see at the meeting, and he's agreed to set up a temporary floo to get you there and back._

 _I hope to see you in November!_

 _Best,_

 _Emmeline Edwards_

Lily put the letter aside, smiling faintly and deciding she would respond tomorrow. She was about to curl up in bed for a much needed nap when the dormitory door banged open and Mary Macdonald rushed in. Her eyes were red from crying.

"Oh! Lily!" she stammered, hastily wiping her face in a needless attempt to conceal the obvious. "I thought everyone would be down at lunch."

Lily shook her head, standing and making her way over brunette. Her black-rimmed glasses were smeared with mascara and flecks of water.

"What's wrong?"

"It's stupid," said Mary, taking off her glasses and wiping them on the sleeve of her robes. The brunette would not meet Lily's eye.

Lily went to her and put an arm around her shoulders, guiding her back to the bed. Once they were seated, Lily said, "If it's got you this upset, it isn't stupid, even if it's some rubbish like Quidditch scores."

This earned a watery laugh from Mary, who then sniffled and took a steadying breath.

"It's not _that_ stupid," she said. "But pretty close."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Will you promise not to tell?"

"Of course, love."

Mary took another breath, then said, "You know I've fancied Thad Capper for a while, right?"

"Yes," said Lily, sighing. She knew where this was going.

"And I know that no one really takes me seriously when I fancy people because I get all quiet and awkward, but I really _do_ have feelings for him."

Lily chose not to comment on the fact that Mary actually had never, to her knowledge, spoken more than a handful of words to Thad. "Go on."

"Well…I heard him talking to Greta Catchlove today, and she was asking him if he fancied Marlene." Mary's voice cracked, and she hovered on the verge of tears. "It's Davey Glass all over again."

Lily squeezed her shoulder. "You know how Marlene is, love. She burns hot and everyone is drawn to her, but it isn't long before they get hurt. She can't hold a relationship for anything. She's terrified of commitment. Maybe if you actually spoke to Thad, he'd realize that he'd rather have your…slow burn. He'll never know you if you don't try."

"Lily you know I _can't_."

"Nonsense."

"What?"

"You heard me," said Lily, standing and pulling Mary up with her. "It's nonsense. You're a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake!"

"I don't know why…"

"Because you're brave, Mary," Lily told her. " _You_ were the only person willing to touch the dying Jobberknoll in Care of Magical Creatures, and you really comforted it. No one else could handle the screaming. _You_ volunteered to go first when Professor Milano wanted us to face that boggart in Defense in third year. _You_ jumped first when we went cliff diving last summer. _And_ you stood up to Mulciber when he called you a Mudblood. You, Mary Macdonald, are brave."

Mary looked slightly more confident at Lily's words, and the redhead smiled. "I'm not saying you have to march into the Great Hall and announce undying love for Thad or anything, but just _talk_ to him. Try to be his friend. If he still doesn't fall for you after that, then he isn't worthy of your affection."

"Why didn't you give me that speech three years ago?" Mary asked with a small smile. "I might have actually had a boyfriend or two."

Lily laughed. And even though she was so tired it felt like there were pixies forcibly pulling her eyelids shut, Lily linked her arm through Mary's and announced they were going to the Great Hall.

Thad and Jared were sitting at the Gryffindor table with Marlene, and Lily guided Mary to sit with them. Marlene shot them both a questioning look, but quickly steered the conversation to a topic that Mary could easily include herself in: Care of Magical Creatures.

Lily had to hide a grin when Thad responded enthusiastically.

(I Look Around Me And I See It Isn't So)

He was going to do it. He was going to tell Marlene how he felt.

Jared caught up with the blonde as she left the Great Hall. They both had a free period and it would be the perfect time to talk.

"You all right?" she asked.

His hands were shaking and he couldn't quite meet her eyes. There was a strange burning sensation in his stomach and he had to make a conscious effort to put one foot in front of the other in a straight line.

"Fi—Fine."

Marlene didn't look convinced. "You're looking a bit peaky. Are you sure you don't want to go to Madame Minks?"

"Really, I'm okay." His voice didn't sound right. "Look, there's something—"

But, of course, at that moment, Sirius Black appeared beside them, an easy grin on his too-handsome face.

"Marlene," he greeted, throwing an arm around her shoulders easily. Jared tried not to growl, they _were_ teammates, after all. "You left me with Minnow in Potions today and I'm not happy with you."

"Minnow?"

"Broadmoor."

"Why do you call him—"

"That's classified." Sirius winked at Marlene, who (though Jared might have imagined it) blushed just slightly.

It was so easy for Sirius, Jared thought bitterly. He could stand there with his arm around _Marlene Penn_ as if it were nothing.

"Anyway," Sirius went on. "James wanted me to tell you that he's booked the pitch for extra practice tonight and tomorrow."

Marlene frowned. "Why? We _slaughtered_ Slytherin in the first match."

"Dunno," shrugged Sirius, and even _that_ he did with an easy grace. "Probably because he's an insane, Quidditch-obsessed git."

"He's your best mate."

"So I know better than anyone that he's an insane, Quidditch-obsessed git."

"But—"

"What's wrong, Penn? Got a date?"

Jared's heartbeat quickened, but Marlene made a face. "God no. I'm on the verge of swearing off men under the age of twenty."

Jared forced a laugh, but it sounded a little choked. "Why's that?"

"You lot are bloody immature," said Marlene, as if it were obvious. "Elliot McLaggen's tried to pull me into a broom cupboard at least three times since Hogsmeade."

"Can you blame him?" Sirius asked, and Jared felt the urge to punch him.

" _Yes_ ," Marlene insisted. " _One_ date does not give anyone any snogging rights."

"Don't be too harsh on the bloke," said Sirius. The trio began ascending the marble staircase. "You're incredibly snoggable."

Marlene's face turned red, though whether it was from embarrassment or anger, Jared couldn't be sure.

"Bugger off, Black," he said.

"Are you saying she isn't, McKinnon?" Sirius grinned widely.

Jared faltered. "Er…"

"I thought so. I'll leave you two to it, then. I suggest the broom cupboard near the statue of Alaric the Archanist. It's quite cozy."

And with a great laugh, Sirius disappeared down the corridor.

"Don't mind him," said Marlene, as Jared stared after the Gryffindor boy with his mouth slightly ajar. "He'll poke fun at anyone for anything, even when it isn't true."

Jared wanted to tell her that it _was_ true though, that she was utterly snoggable and the idea of doing so occupied about seventy-five percent of his mental capacity.

But the look on her face stopped him. And Jared sighed.

"I know," he told her simply. Though of course, it wasn't really simple. She would think he knew Sirius was a prat, but in reality, he knew that she couldn't handle an offer of commitment, that she would be shattered by his true feelings because they were, after all, such good friends. He knew he would have to wait for her to grow up a bit more, to grow out of the one thing that made her so un-Gryffindor. "I know."

(It Isn't Silly At All)

James, true to his word, did not let Lily forget the conversation they'd begun in Defense.

She was sitting in the library amid a pile of books, working on one of two Charms essays she needed to complete before the end of the week, when he slid casually into the chair across from her.

"All right, Evans?" he greeted, running a hand through his outrageously tousled black hair.

She threw him a glare and returned her eyes to her parchment. "All right."

He waited, looking at her expectantly.

"Was there something you wanted?" she asked, though she knew the answer. "I really need to finish these essays."

"To finish the talk we started earlier, obviously."

"I think I've said all I'd like to on the matter." She didn't meet his eye then, knowing the look in them might change her mind.

"But it's not all I want to hear, you see."

"Frankly, it's none of your business."

"I disagree. I think we both made it my business when we snuck into Rowle's office and saw him chatting with Snape. I think you owe me to tell me why you followed him."

"I already said you wouldn't understand."

"And I already said you just have to try."

Lily chewed on the end of her quill, still staring determinedly down at her half-finished essay. "You're not going to like what I have to say."

"Doesn't mean I don't want to hear it."

She looked at him then, and the seriousness in his eyes surprised her. " _Why_ though? Why do you want to know so badly?"

"I'll tell you if you tell me."

"I suppose that means I have to go first?"

"Obviously."

Lily let out a frustrated breath. " _Fine._ But even if I tell you, you won't really get it."

"Go on."

Lily looked at him for a long moment, composing her thoughts, before she said, "My sister and I don't get on. She's a Muggle, you know, and doesn't really understand magic. She's thinks it's a bit of a joke, actually. Sev was there for me when she tried to convince me that I was a freak. He was the one who always told me that it was special to be magical. And so I followed him because a part of me still wants to show him that he doesn't have to be a Death Eater, just like I didn't have to be a freak."

"That doesn't seem too complicated. I can understand that."

"Can you though?" Lily asked, perhaps a bit sharper than she meant to. "Can you really understand what it's like to have your own sister loathe you simply for who you are? To judge you for everything you do? To tell her fiancé and her friends that you attend a school for the mentally unstable and that's why you're not around throughout the year?"

"Merlin, Lily," he breathed. "I didn't know."

She set her quill down and crossed her arms. "Well now you do. And that's why I followed Sev. Because he always knew. He was always there when Petunia wasn't. He was like a brother when my sister walked out on me."

They were quiet for a while, the pair of them, and Lily soon pretended to returned to her assignment.

"Out with it then," she said after a moment, keeping her eyes forcibly on her parchment.

"Huh?"

"Why do you care so much?"

He didn't answer immediately, but when he did, it was with a strange hesitance in his voice that Lily was unused to. "Well I suppose because we're sort of mates, aren't we? Even though we argue like a pair of trolls, we're on the same page, you know? In all this anti-Muggle mess. We both think it's mad, and that counts for something. Snape…he doesn't see the way we do, and you _know_ that, even if you won't admit it. Someone's got to look out for you, and I guess that falls on me."

"I don't need looking after."

"Nah, you don't. You cast a mostly successful _Protego_ against an Auror-slash-Death-Eater, so I'd say you're pretty incredible, Evans. But you're too willing to see the good in people like Snape. Somebody's got to be there to help paint the whole picture, you know?"

"And I suppose that's what you've been doing all these years? Helping me see that Snape isn't a good bloke?"

"No," said James, going a little pink in the ears. "I was a right git to him for a while there just because you were his friend and wouldn't give me the time of day. It wasn't right, I know. But now I'm being honest with you. I'm being honest when I say that he's mixed up with the wrong crowd, and if you keep trying to save him you're just going to get hurt or worse. We _are_ on the same side. I'm trying to act like it."

Alice and Frank appeared then, dropping their things onto Lily's table without so much as a questioning look at James.

"Frank's just had a meeting with Professor Penn," Alice said. "She's talking about starting a dueling club."

The conversation stayed in this vein for some time. James left for Quidditch practice, and Lily, noticing that it was getting dark, decided it was an acceptable hour to go to bed. The witch yawned, stretched, and bid farewell to her friends, hoping that the nightmares would not return.

(Strengths)

It took nearly a week for the Dueling Club to officially begin, under the supervision of Professor Penn and Celedor Jane. Dorian Rowle had been mysteriously called back to the Ministry, but Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall were being frustrating vague with Lily on the matter.

"Did that fork insult your grandmother or something?"

"Huh?"

Marlene reached across the Gryffindor table and pried the utensil from Lily's hand. "You were about to break it in half. What's wrong?"

Lily still had not told anyone but Clark about Dorian Rowle, though there was little reason for secrecy now that the Auror had returned to the Ministry. Lily, though she'd deny it if anyone mentioned it, was afraid of Severus finding out that she did, in fact, remember what happened.

But Lily was the one who'd discovered Rowle's secret, and being kept in the dark about what was going to happen to him was infuriating.

"I'm just stressed," she told Marlene. The blonde did not look entirely convinced, but nodded sympathetically anyway.

Dinner ended, and Professor Penn and Celedor Jane vanished the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables, leaving a large area in the middle of the Great Hall for the dueling club to take place. It had been decided that Fifth through Seventh years would practice together, and First through Fourth would meet the following evening. Once the younger students and those not interested in the idea had cleared out, about fifty students remained in the Hall.

"Less than I expected," Marlene muttered in Lily's ear. "You'd think people would want to learn this stuff. The Marauders aren't even here."

"I heard Potter and Peter talking at dinner," Lily said. "They don't want show their strengths and weaknesses to possible future Death Eaters, but I don't see any Slytherins here at all."

"They probably think it's beneath them. And that's a bit deep on James and Peter's part."

Lily did not have a chance to reply before Professor Penn called for silence.

"As you all know," she said, standing on the lower step of the teachers' dais in order to look over the crowd. "You're here to learn how to defend yourselves in this time of uncertainty in the world. That being said, we will be teaching you _only_ defensive spells, nothing offensive, as a direct mandate from the Minister for Magic himself. We don't want you lot to cause more problems than we already have."

There was a murmur throughout the hall at that, then Celedor Jane stepped up beside Professor Penn.

"To begin," he began in his deep tenor. "We'd like to see where you all stand with basic defensive spells. I haven't seen most of you perform much magic at all, and Professor Penn hasn't been teaching here long enough to gauge your full potential. We'd like you to pair off and practice _Expelliarmus_ and _Protego_ with a partner while we walk among you and get an idea for where everyone stands."

Lily found Clark and the couple stood a few feet apart, facing each other with their wands drawn.

"I knew this was going to be a waste of time," Clark complained, shooting an _Expelliarmus_ that Lily easily deflected. "This is stuff we already know. Ravenclaw was supposed to have an extra Quidditch practice tonight."

"They'll teach us more than this," Lily told him. "This is just to gauge our skills." She paused, grinning wickedly, before firing a rapid disarming charm back at her boyfriend. His wand shot into the air and Lily caught it with ease.

"We'll see. What if it's just to make it look like the Ministry is doing something to get everyone off their backs?"

"Then we make the most of it and try to teach ourselves if we have to," said Lily. She tossed Clark's wand back to him. He tried and failed to disarm her three more times before becoming visibly frustrated.

"Very nice, Miss Evans," said Celedor Jane, circling around the pair and moving to stand beside Clark. "You'll have to be quicker than that to take her out."

Clark grumbled something in response and Lily smiled in spite of herself.

* * *

A/N: A bit shorter than normal, but there wasn't a natural way to flow into the next bit of the story from here, so.

Sorry it took an eon.


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